DS doesn't like piano lessons

[Anonymous]

My son is in kindergarten and I have just started teaching him how to play piano on a keyboard. We play together a few times a week for about 15 minutes per session. He was interested in learning at first but is a
perfectionist and gets upset with himself when he makes mistakes. I remind him that everyone makes mistakes, it's no big deal, etc. and try to keep the lesson low key and enjoyable. Lately he has been not so into the lessons. Should I continue or just drop it for now? I think learning a musical instrument is a good life skill in many respects but I don't want to make him hate the idea of playing an instrument.

[Anonymous]

You could take a break and come back to it later.

[Anonymous]

I've been teaching my DS, and he is motivated to learn, so it's been easy. For a less motivated child, I would try to make sure that what he is learning and playing is not difficult for him or boring. For a very beginner, that might be a hard balance. Is he discouraged, frustrated, bored?

[Anonymous]

I play classical and started at age 6. I studied with recording artists. Let me tell you that for piano - age 8 is not too late to start. Piano is an instrument that does not require age 5 or 6 to start. I'm teaching my kids and I'm not even starting them. My son is 7. I prob won't based on his personality until 8. My daughter just turned 5 and loves music. I won't start her until 6. I'm NOT worried. They won't start liking it until later.

I hated it until I was like 9 (started at age 5). Hated it all the while I was winning contests. Quit at 17. Came back to it on my own in college and taught for awhile. Love it now. A lot of your serious performers didn't hit it until about 7-8. Unless your kid is a prodigy don't worry about starting them before age 6 or so.

Start gymnastics early, start ice skating early. Don't start piano and instruments too early!

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Have someone else teach him.

[Anonymous]

My friend plays flute. She hated flute from age 8 until about age 13. Then something clicked and she loved it. Kids don't always love stuff that is good for them. Just tell him it's required and no arguing.

[Anonymous]

I would drop the lessons and only when he initiates it than you can "instruct" him. My philosophy is kids that are really interested/love something will stick with it and when they don't than they will drop it. Even if they stop it temporarily. Example, my DH played piano and took lessons starting around age 8, joined a choir and loved both. At age 13, he quit because he did not like his piano teacher. But, because his love of music was strong he went back to taking piano lessons.

Now he can play almost anything on the piano and enjoys sitting down and entertaining us all. His two sisters, also given flute and violin lessons ( that's what they wanted) eventually quit because that is not where their interest was. No amount of bribing or begging would get them to keep going.

When your son is interested than help him or get him another teacher. It is difficult to teach your own children!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have someone else teach him.

+1 This may not work for your kid but I would at least give another teacher a try. This is not to say you aren't qualified, but sometimes a good teacher-student relationship can be very motivating and perhaps it's just not the same with mom as your teacher. My DD started at 5 and I could have taught her for a while, but I believe that would have been a disaster. She doesn't even like me to give suggestions when she practices. But she adores her teacher and is willing to practice just to hear the teacher say, "good job!"

[Anonymous]

My daughter took lessons at that age and hated it. I finally pulled the plug and now at 13 she's very into it. Asked for lessons herself. She practices on her own and genuinely loves it. I'd say some kids are ready at that age and some aren't. Quit the lessons it doesn't mean he won't go back to it one day.

[Anonymous]

You could also sign him up for group lessons. Group lessons are often good for perfectionistic kids because they can then hear others making mistakes as well and become more relaxed about that. Individual lessons are probably more efficient but if he resists, then what is the use?

[Anonymous]

Practice yourself when he's around, but don't explicitly teach him. That might let him indicate how much he's interested on his own terms.

[Anonymous]

that's cause piano lessons suuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

[Anonymous]

It's neither too young nor too old to start, but you have to approach it in the right way. Do you go to concerts with fun piano parts, do you watch clips on Youtube, do you listen to kid-friendly or particularly dexterous pieces?
That's the inspirational factor.

Then comes the hard part - no child likes to practice all the time, but they have to. Daily, even if only for 5 minutes a day. As a parent, this can impact your relationship, so I suggest you enroll him in low-key lessons.

I have a child who started his instrument when he was 3, and is still playing 3 years later (loves to play / hates to practice!) and a child who tried at 9 and then preferred to enroll in a choir, which he really enjoys.

It's a delicate balance of motivation and perspiration, OP, rendered more complicated the younger they start. You might want to read books on the subject. Dr. Suzuki wrote some good ones for starting the youngest children.

[Anonymous]

Why not try Suzuki if you're planning on him learning that young. No way would I take on trying to teach my child myself. They will complain and wear me down and none of us will enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

When I was small I really loved just playing around on a keyboard with no real organization. What about giving up on formal lessons, and just letting him be creative with it? If he wants, sign him up for a lesson with someone else. I remember doing a very basic and easy piano class, maybe 6 or 8 lessons in all. I knew it wasn't forever, and when I didn't like it, my mom didn't push it.