Is this man using this woman?

[Anonymous]

Does this sound like a man just plain afraid to commit, a man afraid to commit because he has school-aged children at home, or a man just using this woman to care for his children?

Divorced man with two children (teens) and 30% custody, been dating a woman for two years, moved her in year ago, won't commit to marriage. Man spends days at a time out of town for work and girlfriend keeps and eye on children, cook for them, clean for them, shops for them, drives them around, while man is away for work.

No marriage or engagement on horizon. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I don't know that I'd use the word "AFRAID" about his issues with commitment, but he definitely isn't interested in committing to this woman.

Does she want to get married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that I'd use the word "AFRAID" about his issues with commitment, but he definitely isn't interested in committing to this woman.

Does she want to get married?

She does.

[Anonymous]

If she wants to marry THIS man, she really should talk to him about the future. She should have talked to him about the future a long time ago.

[Anonymous]

I think he is using you. I would get out because you don't want someone to marry you because they are backed into a corner. Ie he loves you but, is comfortable with the way things are. I would just start making plans to leave and when you are ready than do it. If in the meantime he changes his mind than of course you can re-visit the situation.

But, it doesn't look good, sorry!

[Anonymous]

Op you discuss your marriage goals during the first few dates and also clearly state your expectations. Yeah he is using you. I can say give him an ultimatum but it will only work if you actually mean it and you are willing to walk away. Also you don't want to force him into marrying you. He either wants to or doesn't. Any excuses from him means no. The last guy I dated, I told him I don't date any man for more than 1 year, I did that in high school and undergrad. If we are not discussing marriage after the first year the relationship is over. He was find with it.

[Anonymous]

If the OP is the parent of the woman, please let your daughter live her life, and make her own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does this sound like a man just plain afraid to commit, a man afraid to commit because he has school-aged children at home, or a man just using this woman to care for his children?

Divorced man with two children (teens) and 30% custody, been dating a woman for two years, moved her in year ago, won't commit to marriage. Man spends days at a time out of town for work and girlfriend keeps and eye on children, cook for them, clean for them, shops for them, drives them around, while man is away for work.

No marriage or engagement on horizon. Thoughts?

Man gets free childcare. Girlfriend gets free rent (presumably).

The guy's happy to get a roommate, sex, a maid, and free childcare.

[Anonymous]

Woman is wasting her time. If he will not marry her and she wants to be married, she needs to realize it will never happen. There is a reason this one is divorced.

[Anonymous]

Is the woman working or is she a SAH housewife/parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this sound like a man just plain afraid to commit, a man afraid to commit because he has school-aged children at home, or a man just using this woman to care for his children?

Divorced man with two children (teens) and 30% custody, been dating a woman for two years, moved her in year ago, won't commit to marriage. Man spends days at a time out of town for work and girlfriend keeps and eye on children, cook for them, clean for them, shops for them, drives them around, while man is away for work.

No marriage or engagement on horizon. Thoughts?

Man gets free childcare. Girlfriend gets free rent (presumably).

The guy's happy to get a roommate, sex, a maid, and free childcare.

OP here. These were my exact thoughts. I don't care to divulge my relationship with the people in question, but no, the woman does not work.