Do you check your DD grades

[Anonymous]

Well My DD came home from college, and I asked her that we need to see her grades. Since ODU doesn't mail in a report to our house we have to ask her. She said I am the only mom in the whole WIDE World, that asked her daughter to see her grades in COLLEGE. Do you asked? She attends ODU . She has a 3.5..

[Anonymous]

My parents did not ask to see my college grades, even though they were paying. They were only interested in knowing if I was flunking out.

How do you know she has a 3.5? Is that what she's telling you? You are no longer in charge of every grade she gets. So what if she gets a B or a C in some class. That's on her. However, if you are paying, she should tell you if she's failing so you don't wind up wasting money on classes she won't get credit for.

[Anonymous]

Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

DD told me (one grade at a time, as results came in). But she's new to college, so that may change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Sorry, your parents were total jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Wouldn't such a deal discourage you from taking more difficult classes?

My parents never looked at my grades. I learned more (and worked harder) in the econ class in which I earned a C than in the classes in my major in which I earned As.

[Anonymous]

If she's really pulling a 3.5, I don't see any reason why you need to see the grades to her individual classes. If her gpa tanks, then I can see why you might need to step in and help her regroup. Otherwise, leave your daughter to manage her own education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents did not ask to see my college grades, even though they were paying. They were only interested in knowing if I was flunking out.

How do you know she has a 3.5? Is that what she's telling you? You are no longer in charge of every grade she gets. So what if she gets a B or a C in some class. That's on her. However, if you are paying, she should tell you if she's failing so you don't wind up wasting money on classes she won't get credit for.

I know her password......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Wouldn't such a deal discourage you from taking more difficult classes?

My parents never looked at my grades. I learned more (and worked harder) in the econ class in which I earned a C than in the classes in my major in which I earned As.

Theoretically, but I had goals for what I wanted to do after undergrad. My parents knew it wouldn't change my course picking behavior.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you're not the only parent in the whole wide world, but I don't think it's especially common for parents to demand to see college students' grades. I usually did tell my parents my grades (not sure if I just told them or just let them see the report) but it was because we had a good relationship and we were discussing challenges and successes and stuff.

I would definitely wonder why you "need" to see her grades. It's long overdue time for her to take responsibility for her own work and success or failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Sorry, your parents were total jerks.

Eh. Different values I suppose. My father was an electrician who worked on locomotives. He came home covered in oily crap everyday; he worked hard to put me through college and told me it was my job to go to school and not f*ck it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Sorry, your parents were total jerks.

Not at all. I agree with her parent's approach. We have too many kids on the 5 year plan because they haven't learned responsible actions. Any parent who is footing the bill has every right to see the results of what they are paying for and to expect their son or daughter to act accordingly. I see nothing wrong with expecting the student to pay if they didn't do the work. Life doesn't give free rides and parents shouldn't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Sorry, your parents were total jerks.

Not at all. I agree with her parent's approach. We have too many kids on the 5 year plan because they haven't learned responsible actions. Any parent who is footing the bill has every right to see the results of what they are paying for and to expect their son or daughter to act accordingly. I see nothing wrong with expecting the student to pay if they didn't do the work.[i][u] Life doesn't give free rides and parents shouldn't either.

But the deal wasn't "we won't pay if you don't do the work" - the deal was they wouldn't pay if you got lower than a B.
Perhaps in easy majors or at schools with huge grade inflation it's fair to say that a C means you didn't do the work, but there are students in challenging classes all around the country working their butts off for a C.
As a PP said, that rule just seems like a way to ensure that the kid never takes a challenging class and never expands her horizons beyond what she already knows she's good at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Say what? My parents looked at my grades.

They made a deal with me...I paid for any grade that was below a B. They really made me pay for that damn differential equations class. Ugh.

Sorry, your parents were total jerks.

Not at all. I agree with her parent's approach. We have too many kids on the 5 year plan because they haven't learned responsible actions. Any parent who is footing the bill has every right to see the results of what they are paying for and to expect their son or daughter to act accordingly. I see nothing wrong with expecting the student to pay if they didn't do the work.[i][u] Life doesn't give free rides and parents shouldn't either.

But the deal wasn't "we won't pay if you don't do the work" - the deal was they wouldn't pay if you got lower than a B.
Perhaps in easy majors or at schools with huge grade inflation it's fair to say that a C means you didn't do the work, but there are students in challenging classes all around the country working their butts off for a C.
As a PP said, that rule just seems like a way to ensure that the kid never takes a challenging class and never expands her horizons beyond what she already knows she's good at.

Agree. And these kinds of deals and expectations are the reasons I have students harassing me at the end of the semester for a higher grade. It is unseemly, embarassing, annoying, and unnecessary. For the most part, they did fine work or the best work they could in the class.

All they end up caring about is the stupid grade, not the content.

[Anonymous]

If I am paying, I get to see the grades.