Anxiety - how to tell what's normal

[Anonymous]

I can't figure out what's normal and what's not. I'm 19weejs preg with my 4th, other kids are 10, 8, and 2.

I have a decent history of anxiety and was on meds between #2 and 3 then got off when trying for #3. I have true panic attacks maybe 4/7 days, I worry about the baby like crazy. I'm utterly terrified of dying in childbirth, like some huge phobia. It can keep me up at night, and I take unisom to help me sleep (with OB permission). I'm snappy often w kids, irritable. Endless worry.

What is there to do short of meds? I'm not comfortable with that and would just add to stress. I've tried like 5 different therapists over the years and no help, like one told me to have more sex, one always late, another one complained endlessly about other patients. Nightmare after nightmare.

What is normal?

Thanks for your help.

[Anonymous]

This does not sound normal and it sounds like it's really impacting your life. I took meds during pregnancy and it was absolutely the right choice for me, but if it will just make your anxiety worse, then it's not a good choice for you. Though, have you considered that with less anxiety from the meds it would be less stressful to take the meds and you may be more comfortable than you are now?

I would talk to a psychiatrist who is familiar with pregnancy. They usually deal with medication management, but an experienced provider would have had patients who have gone off meds during pregnancy and used alternative treatments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound normal and it sounds like it's really impacting your life. I took meds during pregnancy and it was absolutely the right choice for me, but if it will just make your anxiety worse, then it's not a good choice for you. Though, have you considered that with less anxiety from the meds it would be less stressful to take the meds and you may be more comfortable than you are now?

I would talk to a psychiatrist who is familiar with pregnancy. They usually deal with medication management, but an experienced provider would have had patients who have gone off meds during pregnancy and used alternative treatments.

What did you take? And for what? If you're comfortable saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound normal and it sounds like it's really impacting your life. I took meds during pregnancy and it was absolutely the right choice for me, but if it will just make your anxiety worse, then it's not a good choice for you. Though, have you considered that with less anxiety from the meds it would be less stressful to take the meds and you may be more comfortable than you are now?

I would talk to a psychiatrist who is familiar with pregnancy. They usually deal with medication management, but an experienced provider would have had patients who have gone off meds during pregnancy and used alternative treatments.

What did you take? And for what? If you're comfortable saying.

I have crappy mental health in general - very mild bipolar with severe anxiety and ADHD. I was on a bunch of medications, but weaned off of them mostly in the year before TTC. When I got pregnant, I had an Ativan prescription I had the okay to take occasionally after the first trimester. I also took 2.5-5mg Ambien every night from before getting pregnant to postpartum. For me, anxiety triggers insomnia and insomnia makes my mental health spiral, so good sleep is paramount. I also had the okay to take Adderall occasionally in the second and third trimesters, but I never did. The plan was to start Prozac if the anxiety got bad, and an antipsychotic if I had mood swings. If I needed to, I would have absolutely started either of those without hesitation.

For me, anxiety is the hardest to deal with. With other mood symptoms, you can rationalize to yourself that this is hormones/brain chemistry/whatever and what you're feeling is a symptom, not a "genuine" emotion. This is what a good therapist will teach you to do - recognize the emotions when you're experiencing them and change the patterns of thinking so you can get control over your feelings before the feeling takes over. Anxiety is so much harder because it's a different type of emotion than sadness, anger, or excitement and just sort of pervades your other thinking and emotions. I needed medication to allow me to get control over those emotions, so I could work on how I reacted to them. Therapists are really hit or miss, and I never had much luck with them either.

OP, panic attacks 4 days a week sounds absolutely exhausting. That's no way to live. Big hugs to you, and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This does not sound normal and it sounds like it's really impacting your life. I took meds during pregnancy and it was absolutely the right choice for me, but if it will just make your anxiety worse, then it's not a good choice for you. Though, have you considered that with less anxiety from the meds it would be less stressful to take the meds and you may be more comfortable than you are now?

I would talk to a psychiatrist who is familiar with pregnancy. They usually deal with medication management, but an experienced provider would have had patients who have gone off meds during pregnancy and used alternative treatments.

What did you take? And for what? If you're comfortable saying.

I have crappy mental health in general - very mild bipolar with severe anxiety and ADHD. I was on a bunch of medications, but weaned off of them mostly in the year before TTC. When I got pregnant, I had an Ativan prescription I had the okay to take occasionally after the first trimester. I also took 2.5-5mg Ambien every night from before getting pregnant to postpartum. For me, anxiety triggers insomnia and insomnia makes my mental health spiral, so good sleep is paramount. I also had the okay to take Adderall occasionally in the second and third trimesters, but I never did. The plan was to start Prozac if the anxiety got bad, and an antipsychotic if I had mood swings. If I needed to, I would have absolutely started either of those without hesitation.

For me, anxiety is the hardest to deal with. With other mood symptoms, you can rationalize to yourself that this is hormones/brain chemistry/whatever and what you're feeling is a symptom, not a "genuine" emotion. This is what a good therapist will teach you to do - recognize the emotions when you're experiencing them and change the patterns of thinking so you can get control over your feelings before the feeling takes over. Anxiety is so much harder because it's a different type of emotion than sadness, anger, or excitement and just sort of pervades your other thinking and emotions. I needed medication to allow me to get control over those emotions, so I could work on how I reacted to them. Therapists are really hit or miss, and I never had much luck with them either.

OP, panic attacks 4 days a week sounds absolutely exhausting. That's no way to live. Big hugs to you, and good luck!

Thanks you very much. I appreciate your kind reply.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you are going through this OP, that sounds terrible. Having a panic attacks that often is definitely not normal. I have some anxiety problems, but they're under control enough that I don't take meds for them. My doc told me zoloft would be safe if I needed it during pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Also, can you ask friends for therapist recommendations? It helps to find a good one.

[Anonymous]

OP - I'm with the other who would gently nudge you to rethink meds.

As a periodic sufferer of anxiety, I can say with certainty that you do not have to suffer so much.

However, if you are steadfast in your refusal to try meds, here are some non-med things to be diligent about.

1) Sleep is #1 priority - do whatever it takes to get good rest.
2) Exercise is #2 priority - Try for 45 minutes a day, 5 x week.
3) No alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, caffeine.
4) Put good food into your system. Watch your blood sugar by pairing protein with carbs. Lay off the sugar.
5) Yoga Nidra meditation. I downloaded some tracks from iTunes and I use them to help me sleep, but in small studies they've been proven to help PTSD patients. I swear by them though you might find it a little weird at first.

BTW, I would highly, highly recommend you try to find a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) practitioner. Is there someone who can help vet therapists and get you set up with an appointment if it seems too daunting to try again?

Either way, OP, hang in there. You're not alone in this!

[Anonymous]

Op here thank you all so very much. I'm a mess. 19 weeks preg and I know it's not good for the baby either?

[Anonymous]

^^ no ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here thank you all so very much. I'm a mess. 19 weeks preg and I know it's not good for the baby either?

15:29 and 16:00 here. It's definitely better for the baby to get this anxiety under control. They say you have to be in wartime or other really extreme conditions for the mother's environment to affect the fetus, but honestly the panic attacks and insomnia you're dealing with sound pretty extreme to me. 99.9% likely the baby is doing perfectly swimmingly in there, but there are only upsides, not downsides, to getting this anxiety under control before he or she arrives. The first step is talking with your OB, a psychiatrist, or someone else and figuring out what your options are. No need to make any decisions, just get some information and let someone else know how you're feeling. You've got this, OP! Keep us posted, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here thank you all so very much. I'm a mess. 19 weeks preg and I know it's not good for the baby either?

15:29 and 16:00 here. It's definitely better for the baby to get this anxiety under control. They say you have to be in wartime or other really extreme conditions for the mother's environment to affect the fetus, but honestly the panic attacks and insomnia you're dealing with sound pretty extreme to me. 99.9% likely the baby is doing perfectly swimmingly in there, but there are only upsides, not downsides, to getting this anxiety under control before he or she arrives. The first step is talking with your OB, a psychiatrist, or someone else and figuring out what your options are. No need to make any decisions, just get some information and let someone else know how you're feeling. You've got this, OP! Keep us posted, please.

Great advice from this PP about gathering information. It's a great first step. And please do keep us posted. We're rooting for you.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all so much. You're very kind!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't figure out what's normal and what's not. I'm 19weejs preg with my 4th, other kids are 10, 8, and 2.

I have a decent history of anxiety and was on meds between #2 and 3 then got off when trying for #3. I have true panic attacks maybe 4/7 days, I worry about the baby like crazy. I'm utterly terrified of dying in childbirth, like some huge phobia. It can keep me up at night, and I take unisom to help me sleep (with OB permission). I'm snappy often w kids, irritable. Endless worry.

What is there to do short of meds? I'm not comfortable with that and would just add to stress. I've tried like 5 different therapists over the years and no help, like one told me to have more sex, one always late, another one complained endlessly about other patients. Nightmare after nightmare.

What is normal?

Thanks for your help.

Did you ever end up taking meds? If so, which kind?

[Anonymous]

I'm a new poster. I have terrible clinical anxiety, and have been flaring basically since COVID started (awesome). I am not pregnant now but was on Celexa with both my kids, now 9 and 7 and totally neurotypical. My therapist (MD) and my OB worked together, and I went off Paxil (now back on it, but that's another story) which isn't safe during pregnancy. But many meds are. Talk to your OB. You won't be the only one and your baby will be FINE!