If a couple never thanks you or acknowledges a weekly favor you do...

[Anonymous]

... is that a sign that you should shop?

I was the nanny for a little girl from birth until she started school. When she started school, I took a job as a preschool music teacher where I have Fridays off so I volunteered to pick her up from school on Fridays and take care of her until her parents get home from work (keeping her out of aftercare). I do not get paid for it, of course and I have been doing it for almost a year. The parents were never, ever good about thanking me or complimenting me when I was their child's nanny - they are simply not a polite couple. I do love their daughter and enjoy our afternoon together for the most part.

I am going away this week for Christmas, so last Friday was our last day together until next year. I left her Christmas gift under the Christmas tree and the parents saw it and commented on how beautifully it was wrapped. Then I left. Parents wished me a Merry Christmas and that was it... No card, no gift, no mention of the last year of me doing them this favor. Nothing.

Is this a sign that they want me to stop and don't know how to tell me?

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily. They could be socially clueless. Do you want to stop? If so, give them notice so they can find alternate daycare. They are not paying you but have relied on you for s long time now.

[Anonymous]

And I agree, it is rude they have never thanked you but you volunteered for this arrangement and knew how they were.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth did you volunteer to do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I agree, it is rude they have never thanked you but you volunteered for this arrangement and knew how they were.

+1

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is a sign they don't want you to do it, but it is clear they take you for granted and are generally ungrateful people. Which you already knew before you offered.

I personally would stop, but I also would not have offered in the first place. What was your reason for offering? I understand you like the little girl, but that is quite a thing to sacrifice every Friday afternoon with no pay for a former employer.

I'd call/text the parents now that you won't be able to do the pickups anymore after the new year so they have time to make other arrangements. If you still want to see the little girl, then you could let them know you're always happy to babysit if your schedule allows, and your rate is $20/hr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth did you volunteer to do this?

+1 I have a feeling the parents think they're doing you a favor by allowing you to see the girl on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth did you volunteer to do this?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily. They could be socially clueless. Do you want to stop? If so, give them notice so they can find alternate daycare. They are not paying you but have relied on you for s long time now.

The parents probably pay by the week for aftercare at the preschool already to use it Mon-Thurs. I doubt this saves them any money.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I love the little girl dearly. Of course I volunteered knowing they were not polite parents but never thought they were this bad. I just wanted to put this question out there to see if you thought the parents wanted me to stop caring for their daughter once a week and didn't know how to tell me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not necessarily. They could be socially clueless. Do you want to stop? If so, give them notice so they can find alternate daycare. They are not paying you but have relied on you for s long time now.

The parents probably pay by the week for aftercare at the preschool already to use it Mon-Thurs. I doubt this saves them any money.

OP here and yes, it does save them money. The aftercare is charged on a daily basis. Beyond that money savings, I always do something educational or special with their daughter so she is benefiting beyond the parents' monetary savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I love the little girl dearly. Of course I volunteered knowing they were not polite parents but never thought they were this bad. I just wanted to put this question out there to see if you thought the parents wanted me to stop caring for their daughter once a week and didn't know how to tell me.

I think they see it as a favor to you. If you want to keep doing it, then do so, but if you don't, then stop and offer to do babysitting if they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth did you volunteer to do this?

+1 I have a feeling the parents think they're doing you a favor by allowing you to see the girl on a regular basis.

OP here and I think you might be right. Should I ask them if they want me to stop?

[Anonymous]

OP if you love the girl, I would keep doing it, but with no expectation of being thanked in any way. Sucks but some people are clueless ingrates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why on earth did you volunteer to do this?

+1 I have a feeling the parents think they're doing you a favor by allowing you to see the girl on a regular basis.

OP here and I think you might be right. Should I ask them if they want me to stop?

Do you think they would tell you the truth?

Maybe cease next year and ask to take her for ice cream every few months if you miss the little girl. If you still love seeing her every week and you are totally ok with the parents being thoughtless then you need to do it for you and the little girl. If you are starting to feel rightfully taken advantage of them by all means stop.