Cheating friend got caught

[Anonymous]

What do you say to friend? Their relationship was a bit rocky; friend got tipsy and hooked up with a male friend. The boyfriend saw a text and broke up with her. Everything's clear- she screwed up, it's for the best that they break up. Just wondering what you would say to distraught, self-hating friend? I said, you're not a bad person, but you made some terrible decisions and the important thing is to take the blame and move on. If you were in my shoes, what else would you say?

[Anonymous]

I would go tell her to cry to someone who cares maybe a therapist or AA.

I don't have much for tipsy oopsy anymore, we aren't 21 year olds.

[Anonymous]

They aren't married. Time to move on and you don't really need to say anything at all.

[Anonymous]

Exactly that. Tell her to do some soul searching to figure out why she made that mistake and to forgive herself.

[Anonymous]

i wouldn't say anything she is her own person and knows that etc all you will be doing by saying something is create a long process of her and her drama

[Anonymous]

Ask her why she's such a miserable whore?

[Anonymous]

I would probably provide a shoulder to cry on. It admit that yes it sucks she cheated and got caught. And then leave it at that. I would not judge her or anything. She's probably already judging herself harshly as it is. She knows she made a mistake there's nothing more to be said. I can't blame the boyfriend for leaving her. But that was a bed she made, so now she has to lay on it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck,!so I would offer the shoulder to cry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would probably provide a shoulder to cry on. It admit that yes it sucks she cheated and got caught. And then leave it at that. I would not judge her or anything. She's probably already judging herself harshly as it is. She knows she made a mistake there's nothing more to be said. I can't blame the boyfriend for leaving her. But that was a bed she made, so now she has to lay on it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck,!so I would offer the shoulder to cry on.

+1
This is good advice. I'd also recommend that she regularly sees a therapist so she can better understand why she self-sabotaged. Perhaps help her try to find one?

[Anonymous]

Shit happens. She made a mistake, time to learn from it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I would probably provide a shoulder to cry on. It admit that yes it sucks she cheated and got caught. And then leave it at that. I would not judge her or anything. She's probably already judging herself harshly as it is. She knows she made a mistake there's nothing more to be said. I can't blame the boyfriend for leaving her. But that was a bed she made, so now she has to lay on it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck,!so I would offer the shoulder to cry on.

+1
This is good advice. I'd also recommend that she regularly sees a therapist so she can better understand why she self-sabotaged. Perhaps help her try to find one?

Seriously? A therapist because she cheated once on a boyfriend? That's dumb. OP doesn't indicate that this is part of a pattern of self-sabotaging behavior or alcoholism or anything else major. This was one dumb mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I would probably provide a shoulder to cry on. It admit that yes it sucks she cheated and got caught. And then leave it at that. I would not judge her or anything. She's probably already judging herself harshly as it is. She knows she made a mistake there's nothing more to be said. I can't blame the boyfriend for leaving her. But that was a bed she made, so now she has to lay on it. But that doesn't mean it doesn't suck,!so I would offer the shoulder to cry on.

This. Tell her that one way to forgive herself is to resolve to learn from the experience and never repeat it, to be honest and forthcoming in relationships.