My daughter doesn't tell me what happened at school
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Anonymous
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My 7-year-old never tells me what happened in school when I pick her up. Every time I ask her she tells me school was good and I don't remember anything. She is a very smart kid and is doing very well academically.
All her friends will tell us everything that happened in class but she won't and if I probe and ask her who she played with and what she did she will give me limited information and then say I don't want to talk about it. Do any of you think there is an issue. I spoke to her teachers and they said she plays fine with everyone and she is a happy child at school. I have noticed sometimes she runs after these two kids in class that were friends for the last 2 years and isn't really a part of the group. What can I do differently to help her out? |
Anonymous
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Totally normal- mine don't say anything either. Some kids are happy to talk about their day, others are not. Not a big deal.
Re: her social life, let her work it out. Don't interfere. |
Anonymous
| I have to ask my DS specific questions about his day, otherwise I won't know anything. So our whole ride home is "what numbers did you practice in math?" "What did you write about in writer's workshop?" "What's your favorite game you played in PE?" And so on. |
Anonymous
| I was a kid who excelled but really just wanted a few minutes to decompress. Maybe try asking more specific questions over dinner when everyone shares about their day. |
Anonymous
| Tell her about your day. Then wait for her to reciprocate. She will eventually. |
Anonymous
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Yes, 7yo DS is the same! Doesn't matter how you phrase the question, he won't talk unless he feels like it (which isn't often). He's always been this way.
A parent/friend was telling me a bunch of stuff about DS' 1st grade class, down to tiny details about which kids had the most reward stickers. When I mentioned she must spend a lot of time volunteering in the class, she said "no, my son tells me all this." Never occurred to me since my DS is so tight-lipped! |
Anonymous
| We've had some success playing "two truths and a lie" -- kids tell me three things about their day, one of which is made up and I have to guess which one. They love tricking me (I always guess wrong), which motivates them. Then I can ask specific questions about their truths and usually get answers. Even their "lie" is usually just the opposite of what really happened, so is still information. |
Anonymous
Yup how was your day is too broad. |
Anonymous
| My son never told me anything until fourth grade. He's in fifth this year. The past two years he tells me everything it seems, but k-3 it was like he was a CIA agent. Not sure what changed, but I love hearing about his days now! |
Anonymous
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Hi, Op
First this is totally normal and many kids are either too tired to talk about their day or there were too many things that happened for them to adequately answer the question. Think about your day. Do you remember lots of details or only the broad strokes ie had a meeting with Larla, ate lunch with Bob, learned about X. I think you would get tired if your husband/wife constantly wanted to go over lots of detail in your day..."But, then what happened after you met Bob for a meeting?" Btw, I totally get why you want to hear about your child's day! So, I understand your frustration. But, I also recognize that my kids have their own world and it is ok for me not to know every single detail ( or even most) You know your child is doing well academically and has friends so there is no worry in that. My advice would be accept what they want to tell you and back off with the questioning every day. Start by telling your DC about your day and see if that helps. My kids ( now teens) have some quiet moments and then will tell me everything! It may just be your child's personality and there is not much you can do about that! |
Anonymous
| The story of my life. |
Anonymous
| I think that's what I told my parents through college lol. My daughter does the same thing half the time, the other half she will actually tell me things. It's a crap shoot. |
Anonymous
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My 6 year old does the exact same thing, OP. Everything was good. I read an article recently that said you should give kids a little time to decompress right after school. To pepper them with questions 10 minutes after getting home isn't usually going to get a lot of answers. We also do a let's talk about our days things at dinner, and sometimes things come out there.
I even learned about assemblies at the school and fun outside visitors the class had at the bus stop. DD never said a word! |
Anonymous
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Right after school, neither of my DDs want to talk about their day. We don't usually start talking about it until around dinner and I find the best way to get info is to actually ask about someone else in the class.
I get the most unsolicited info at night, as they're going to bed. |