What do you view as the minimum acceptable age to have fully gray hair?

[Anonymous]

I'm secure in my life and job and have let me hair grow naturally grey. 52, and it's about half-way there.

I think it's sexist that people feel like I "should" color it, and since I don't have to I'm doing my part to make women with grey hair more accepted.

[Anonymous]

It ages you. So, 70.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fully grey at 50, since the pandemic. I don’t think I’ll keep it long-term but I’m enjoying the respite from chemicals in my hair every 2 weeks. My DH loves it and encouraging me to keep it - and he is being sincere. He’s always marched to the best of his own drum, though.

It’s interesting to read what people might be projecting or perceiving when they see my gray hair. And none of it is really about me. By no means have I “given up” and I certainly DO care what my DH thinks.

I’m one of those dark hair/pale skin Irish ladies who started getting grays in my 20s. I’ve flirted with going entirely gray during COVID and just recently decided to color again before going back to the office in person. I work in a culture that values youth, and I’m not yet at a level where appearing older than I a (48) makes professional sense. And as good as I look - I’m fit, pale skin = sunscreen forever = no wrinkles - I’m not willing to bring that level of unconscious bias upon myself to make my work life harder.

That said I live in abject terror of being one of those women who keeps using home box dye to their original brunette color until they have hair that’s way too dark for their face. I have some friends in that place right now, and it’s far more aging than the gray. So I pay a ridiculous amount of money to get dark lowlights put in every couple of months instead of getting rid of all the grays. I’m just hitting the pause button at, say, my 44-years-old gray level! I’ll probably reassess again a couple of years past my next promotion.

[Anonymous]

Isnt it pretty rare for someone to be fully grey until the are fairly elderly? I know there are exceptions, but my 90 year old grandmother is only about 50 percent grey, and my late 60’s mother probably less than a quarter. I’m 40 and only see a very few grey hairs, but am a natural blonde so it probably blends in.

[Anonymous]

I hear you on “don’t get too dark a color”. I’m a dark brunette here at 47 years old, and I specifically get a lighter shade brown than I used to be, so it doesn’t look like shoe polish. Also, I had a really good sense that it looks decent, and if it didn’t I would pay a salon to do it. But my hairdresser and my husband and kids have told me it looks right, and they would tell me if it didn’t.

Plus I’ve been doing my hair at home for 15 years now, so I’m pretty good at it, even the back of my head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have gray hair at any age, you are sending two signals:

1. "I've given up"

2. "I'm not interested in being attractive to my husband"

Do your statements have any parameters? What if the woman is 70, 80 or older? What if she has a medical condition that precludes coloring?

I suppose I’m lucky then at 45 and 98% gray that not only did my husband encourage me to stop coloring my hair 5 years ago, but that he actually prefers the gray on me. What exactly have I given up, btw? I still enjoy fashion and makeup and fitness. I just don’t color my hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isnt it pretty rare for someone to be fully grey until the are fairly elderly? I know there are exceptions, but my 90 year old grandmother is only about 50 percent grey, and my late 60’s mother probably less than a quarter. I’m 40 and only see a very few grey hairs, but am a natural blonde so it probably blends in.

I was wondering the same thing too. I'm 42 and brunette and I've only seen a few grays. My mom is 73 and about 1/3 gray, the rest is light brown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isnt it pretty rare for someone to be fully grey until the are fairly elderly? I know there are exceptions, but my 90 year old grandmother is only about 50 percent grey, and my late 60’s mother probably less than a quarter. I’m 40 and only see a very few grey hairs, but am a natural blonde so it probably blends in.

I was wondering the same thing too. I'm 42 and brunette and I've only seen a few grays. My mom is 73 and about 1/3 gray, the rest is light brown.

I’m 42 and probably 70-80% gray. People who judge women with gray hair tend to be women who don’t have to color their hair! It’s easy to see gray hair as a moral failing of some sort or an easily corrected cosmetic flaw when you’re not experiencing it yourself.

It’s genetic and I agree that it is pretty rare and I’m pretty young for this. I’ve been going gray gradually since 20 or so and new growth became more gray than not when I was 37 or 38. I’ve received all sorts of nasty comments about it, the worst from a female boss just a bit older than me when I was in my early 30s. Men don’t seem to care. Most women I know have a few grays that are easily masked with high or lowlights, but my situation as a reddish brunette going gray young seems to befuddle hair colorists. After years of them trying to take me blond, making me a very dark brown with horribly obvious roots in 2 weeks, or trying to maintain my former color but turning orange despite every possible toner and fancy shampoo, I gave up. I was paying a lot and wasting a ton of money to look “acceptable” but the results were never objectively attractive past week 1.

My gray ages me but so did my attempts to correct it, and I have moved on. My coloring and my current hair color are very similar to Sarah Harris so I find her look helpful for choosing clothing and makeup. (Sadly, my bone structure does not resemble hers!)

[Anonymous]

70+ for me, but that's a personal preference. Only have a few greys at 39, but I've started highlighting my brunette hair so they blend as they grow in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isnt it pretty rare for someone to be fully grey until the are fairly elderly? I know there are exceptions, but my 90 year old grandmother is only about 50 percent grey, and my late 60’s mother probably less than a quarter. I’m 40 and only see a very few grey hairs, but am a natural blonde so it probably blends in.

I was wondering the same thing too. I'm 42 and brunette and I've only seen a few grays. My mom is 73 and about 1/3 gray, the rest is light brown.

I’m 42 and probably 70-80% gray. People who judge women with gray hair tend to be women who don’t have to color their hair! It’s easy to see gray hair as a moral failing of some sort or an easily corrected cosmetic flaw when you’re not experiencing it yourself.

It’s genetic and I agree that it is pretty rare and I’m pretty young for this. I’ve been going gray gradually since 20 or so and new growth became more gray than not when I was 37 or 38. I’ve received all sorts of nasty comments about it, the worst from a female boss just a bit older than me when I was in my early 30s. Men don’t seem to care. Most women I know have a few grays that are easily masked with high or lowlights, but my situation as a reddish brunette going gray young seems to befuddle hair colorists. After years of them trying to take me blond, making me a very dark brown with horribly obvious roots in 2 weeks, or trying to maintain my former color but turning orange despite every possible toner and fancy shampoo, I gave up. I was paying a lot and wasting a ton of money to look “acceptable” but the results were never objectively attractive past week 1.

My gray ages me but so did my attempts to correct it, and I have moved on. My coloring and my current hair color are very similar to Sarah Harris so I find her look helpful for choosing clothing and makeup. (Sadly, my bone structure does not resemble hers!)

I'm the PP. No I don't see gray as a moral failure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isnt it pretty rare for someone to be fully grey until the are fairly elderly? I know there are exceptions, but my 90 year old grandmother is only about 50 percent grey, and my late 60’s mother probably less than a quarter. I’m 40 and only see a very few grey hairs, but am a natural blonde so it probably blends in.

I was wondering the same thing too. I'm 42 and brunette and I've only seen a few grays. My mom is 73 and about 1/3 gray, the rest is light brown.

Think about the guys you know with Richard Gere hair. There should be just as many women with the same hair out there . . . But most color until way later. It is totally genetic and totally variable. My brother was all gray with that band of dark right at the base of his head by the time he was 33. I’m the same — if I ever let anyone see it.