Changing name of special needs forum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a child who fits into that category. Just what the heck are you thinking is going to be better by changing the terminology every five years or so? It’s just a way to shame those who misspeak and make you feel better than they are to make up for all the challenges we face with our kids. Just stop it. My kid has problems and will be behind their peers and no amount of wishful thinking, like the autism “advocates” do and other communitiesinsist, is going to make that change.

The words that exist now are fine.

I am an actual disabled person, and I find terms like "special needs", "differently-abled" and "handi-capable" to be stigmatizing. Due to this stigma I felt embarrassed for being disabled during my teenage years. This did not help me at all. I had a negative self image. I didn't want any help or services that were aimed at "disabled" or "special needs" people. I was embarrassed if others saw me as "disabled" or "special".

Terms like "special needs" are not only stigmatizing, it is a way to avoid using the term disability. Many able-bodied people are uncomfortable with the terms "disability" and "disabled" , so they came up with euphemisms to avoid saying those words, like "special needs", "handi-capable", and "differently-abled". What this ends up doing is sending the message that disability is something to be ashamed about, which is harmful overall. These people don't even ask actual disabled people what terms they prefer, and at times, disabled people are even told how to identify themselves. Yes, people were told not to call THEMSELVES autistic, and instead to say "person with autism".

I suggest you listen to actual disabled people. Read blogs and books by disabled people.

Except that it's disability advocates who told us to use "people first" language, aka "person with autism." I'm sympathetic to your viewpoint, but over-focusing on vocabulary is not going to get you what you want. Because the vocabulary is going to constantly change. "Disabled" was a word used to replace more insulting terms like "handicapped" and "retarded."

It's not actual disabled people who told you to use people first language. Its able-bodied parents and professionals. Most autistic adults prefer "autistic".

https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/identity-firs

https://researchautism.org/1000-people-surveyed-sur

The problem is the conversations in the disability community tend to be dominated by able-bodied parents and professionals. The disability community is the only community where its members are denied the right to speak for themselves. Roma people don't like the term "Gypsy" and I see people pointing that out online. The NAACP is run by POC. GLADD is run by LGBT people. Yet Autism Speaks doesn't have an autistic person on their board. The term "special needs" continues to be widely used. Professors teaching future special ed teachers will give their students assignment to interview parents of disabled kids, but not give assignments to interview an actual disabled person, because able-bodied people's opinions about disability matter more.

Some people with disabilities do prefer people first langusage, but many do not. The problem is people are often taught by their able-bodied professors in the graduate program or by the social worker that thesd are the ONLY polite terms, but never consult actual disabled people. Disabled people are even told how to identify themselves. Yes, people are told not to call THEMSELVES autistic, and instead to say "person with autism". Disabled people are also shut out of discussions regarding their medical care plans, IEPs, etc.

At the end of 10th grade I had an IEP meeting. If you wonder what that was like, it was a bunch of adults sitting around me talking about me without involving me in the conversation. They decided next year they will work on "a better understanding of social cues" but they never asked me if that's what **I** wanted to work on. Would you like it if people talked about what's in your "best interests" without involving you in the conversation? They wrote the entire IEP, not I. They never asked for my input on the goals or anything.

Yes, but that's not true of everyone. What do you gain from demanding the use of the word "disabled" for people who don't want or embrace that label?

My daughter has a chronic medical condition that is ever present, but the degree to which it impacts her life varies. She does not want to be called disabled, because she does not view her struggle in those terms. Some of the disability advocates seem to want to divide the world into two groups - able and disabled For many people with chronic conditions and illnesses which can be disabling at times but not always, that's not how they see themselves. Do not tell my daughter that she has to call herself disabled because just because it's important to you. My daughter's judgment of her best interest does not involve wasting even a minute being angry about how she is labeled.

Your daughter doesn't have to call herself "disabled" if she feels ir doesn't accurately describe her experiencs. But I do have problems with how the term "special needs" is used.

1. It's used to euphemize actual diagnoses. I was once at a job fair where I was part of an audience. A guy who owns a company that staffed group homes was offering a job in his company to work with people with "special needs". Nobody knew what he meant. When he clarified "people with intellectual and developmental disabilities" people understood. "Special needs" is a broad term. These people have a diagnosis, and its "intellectual disability". Why not just say the term? They are not in group homes due to broken arms or missing legs.

2. Actual disabled people are being spoken over. When I tell people I am disabled, some people reply with "you're not disabled". Yes I am. I get these people think they are being helpful, but they aren't. They're dismissing my experiences. It's like those people who "don't see color" or tell people "I don't see you as black".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a child who fits into that category. Just what the heck are you thinking is going to be better by changing the terminology every five years or so? It’s just a way to shame those who misspeak and make you feel better than they are to make up for all the challenges we face with our kids. Just stop it. My kid has problems and will be behind their peers and no amount of wishful thinking, like the autism “advocates” do and other communitiesinsist, is going to make that change.

The words that exist now are fine.

I am an actual disabled person, and I find terms like "special needs", "differently-abled" and "handi-capable" to be stigmatizing. Due to this stigma I felt embarrassed for being disabled during my teenage years. This did not help me at all. I had a negative self image. I didn't want any help or services that were aimed at "disabled" or "special needs" people. I was embarrassed if others saw me as "disabled" or "special".

Terms like "special needs" are not only stigmatizing, it is a way to avoid using the term disability. Many able-bodied people are uncomfortable with the terms "disability" and "disabled" , so they came up with euphemisms to avoid saying those words, like "special needs", "handi-capable", and "differently-abled". What this ends up doing is sending the message that disability is something to be ashamed about, which is harmful overall. These people don't even ask actual disabled people what terms they prefer, and at times, disabled people are even told how to identify themselves. Yes, people were told not to call THEMSELVES autistic, and instead to say "person with autism".

I suggest you listen to actual disabled people. Read blogs and books by disabled people.

Except that it's disability advocates who told us to use "people first" language, aka "person with autism." I'm sympathetic to your viewpoint, but over-focusing on vocabulary is not going to get you what you want. Because the vocabulary is going to constantly change. "Disabled" was a word used to replace more insulting terms like "handicapped" and "retarded."

It's not actual disabled people who told you to use people first language. Its able-bodied parents and professionals. Most autistic adults prefer "autistic".

https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/identity-firs

https://researchautism.org/1000-people-surveyed-sur

The problem is the conversations in the disability community tend to be dominated by able-bodied parents and professionals. The disability community is the only community where its members are denied the right to speak for themselves. Roma people don't like the term "Gypsy" and I see people pointing that out online. The NAACP is run by POC. GLADD is run by LGBT people. Yet Autism Speaks doesn't have an autistic person on their board. The term "special needs" continues to be widely used. Professors teaching future special ed teachers will give their students assignment to interview parents of disabled kids, but not give assignments to interview an actual disabled person, because able-bodied people's opinions about disability matter more.

Some people with disabilities do prefer people first langusage, but many do not. The problem is people are often taught by their able-bodied professors in the graduate program or by the social worker that thesd are the ONLY polite terms, but never consult actual disabled people. Disabled people are even told how to identify themselves. Yes, people are told not to call THEMSELVES autistic, and instead to say "person with autism". Disabled people are also shut out of discussions regarding their medical care plans, IEPs, etc.

At the end of 10th grade I had an IEP meeting. If you wonder what that was like, it was a bunch of adults sitting around me talking about me without involving me in the conversation. They decided next year they will work on "a better understanding of social cues" but they never asked me if that's what **I** wanted to work on. Would you like it if people talked about what's in your "best interests" without involving you in the conversation? They wrote the entire IEP, not I. They never asked for my input on the goals or anything.

Yes, but that's not true of everyone. What do you gain from demanding the use of the word "disabled" for people who don't want or embrace that label?

My daughter has a chronic medical condition that is ever present, but the degree to which it impacts her life varies. She does not want to be called disabled, because she does not view her struggle in those terms. Some of the disability advocates seem to want to divide the world into two groups - able and disabled For many people with chronic conditions and illnesses which can be disabling at times but not always, that's not how they see themselves. Do not tell my daughter that she has to call herself disabled because just because it's important to you. My daughter's judgment of her best interest does not involve wasting even a minute being angry about how she is labeled.

Your daughter doesn't have to call herself "disabled" if she feels ir doesn't accurately describe her experiencs. But I do have problems with how the term "special needs" is used.

1. It's used to euphemize actual diagnoses. I was once at a job fair where I was part of an audience. A guy who owns a company that staffed group homes was offering a job in his company to work with people with "special needs". Nobody knew what he meant. When he clarified "people with intellectual and developmental disabilities" people understood. "Special needs" is a broad term. These people have a diagnosis, and its "intellectual disability". Why not just say the term? They are not in group homes due to broken arms or missing legs.

2. Actual disabled people are being spoken over. When I tell people I am disabled, some people reply with "you're not disabled". Yes I am. I get these people think they are being helpful, but they aren't. They're dismissing my experiences. It's like those people who "don't see color" or tell people "I don't see you as black".

I agree special needs is much broader which is why it’s appropriate for this subforum name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't possibly see how "disabled" is better than Special Needs.

"Disabled" is an accurate term. "Special needs" is a euphemism.

Disagree.

Why do you disagree? Why do you think the term "special needs" is better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't possibly see how "disabled" is better than Special Needs.

"Disabled" is an accurate term. "Special needs" is a euphemism.

Disagree.

Why do you disagree? Why do you think the term "special needs" is better.

I’ve already explained it above. My kid is abled. We’ve agreed there is a spectrum, he is not to the disabled status.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like one person keeps speaking over the majority here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like one person keeps speaking over the majority here

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't possibly see how "disabled" is better than Special Needs.

"Disabled" is an accurate term. "Special needs" is a euphemism.

Disagree.

Why do you disagree? Why do you think the term "special needs" is better.

I’ve already explained it above. My kid is abled. We’ve agreed there is a spectrum, he is not to the disabled status.

If the term "special needs" accurately describes your kids situation, than use it, unless your kid prefers a different term. But in some cases, "disabled" is a better term than "special needs".

[Anonymous]

I am a disabled parent of 2 kids who also carry diagnoses and could be referred to as disabled also. I prefer the term special needs for this board because it includes people at all stages of their diagnostic and intervention journey. Some parents may visit briefly to be reassured that their child is likely developing in an unusual but not extremely atypical way. Others may find it a first step towards a diagnosis.

For the purpose of the title of a parent forum I think it best serves the purpose and is less likely to scare people off. Because for most disabilities, early intervention is key. This forum provides a safe place to explore without forcing the issue that you may be parenting a disabled child. It really is designed to support the mostly non-disabled parents of children with potential disabilities.

I am not avoiding the disabled title and will claim all appropriate rights under federal law. But I also do not center my identity on my disability. I look to other places for disability-specific support as a disabled person. Here I am looking for other parents’ experience in getting services for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't possibly see how "disabled" is better than Special Needs.

"Disabled" is an accurate term. "Special needs" is a euphemism.

Disagree.

Why do you disagree? Why do you think the term "special needs" is better.

I’ve already explained it above. My kid is abled. We’ve agreed there is a spectrum, he is not to the disabled status.

If the term "special needs" accurately describes your kids situation, than use it, unless your kid prefers a different term. But in some cases, "disabled" is a better term than "special needs".

Yes but for the use of an online forum, there is no need to exclude. Use the bigger umbrella rather than the narrow one. It’s an anonymous parenting forum.

[Anonymous]

I have ADHD. I don’t consider myself disabled. I have some definite weaknesses and challenges but I suppose everyone does. I would not use the term special needs to define myself but I have used it as a shorthand way to refer to my kid’s educational/social needs, which differ from that of many other children in some ways. I think it’s a useful term particularly referencing children, who often have needs of one sort of another.
The AdA definition—impairment in one or more functions of everyday living—is quite broad and the majority of adults have one disability or another under the definition, as evidenced by the number of ADA accommodation requests most employers get (standing desks, fragrance free offices, later reporting time, wrist supports for typing, etc....).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't possibly see how "disabled" is better than Special Needs.

"Disabled" is an accurate term. "Special needs" is a euphemism.

Disagree.

Why do you disagree? Why do you think the term "special needs" is better.

I’ve already explained it above. My kid is abled. We’ve agreed there is a spectrum, he is not to the disabled status.

If the term "special needs" accurately describes your kids situation, than use it, unless your kid prefers a different term. But in some cases, "disabled" is a better term than "special needs".

Yes but for the use of an online forum, there is no need to exclude. Use the bigger umbrella rather than the narrow one. It’s an anonymous parenting forum.

PP here who is disabled. I agree 100%. Maybe the phrasing "kids with disabilities and conditions" would be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is - "advocates" don't like "special needs" because it's a term parents use, and they love to attack parents as a group. Also, the internal logic here is that they have to attack SOMETHING symbolic, so they'll attack whatever the terminology of the day is -- nevermind that the terminology of today was the terminology adopted due to advocacy yesterday.

I am a disabled advocate. I'm not here to attack parents, but able-bodied parents of disabled children need to stop speaking over disabled adults. They should not be the primary voices in the disability community. White parents of black children don't speak over black adults. The NAACP is run by POC. GLADD is run by LGBT people. So why doesn't Autism Speaks doesn't have a single autistic person on their board.

By the way, your child may become one of those advocates one day. I have told my own parents what they can do better and they listen. By the same token, I listen to people of color, LGBT people and other marginalized groups on what I can do to end discrimination.

I find the term "special needs" to be stigmatizing. Due to this stigma I felt embarrassed for being disabled during my teenage years. This did not help me at all. I had a negative self image. I didn't want any help or services that were aimed at "disabled" or "special needs" people. I was embarrassed if others saw me as "disabled" or "special".

this is a forum for parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is - "advocates" don't like "special needs" because it's a term parents use, and they love to attack parents as a group. Also, the internal logic here is that they have to attack SOMETHING symbolic, so they'll attack whatever the terminology of the day is -- nevermind that the terminology of today was the terminology adopted due to advocacy yesterday.

I am a disabled advocate. I'm not here to attack parents, but able-bodied parents of disabled children need to stop speaking over disabled adults. They should not be the primary voices in the disability community. White parents of black children don't speak over black adults. The NAACP is run by POC. GLADD is run by LGBT people. So why doesn't Autism Speaks doesn't have a single autistic person on their board.

By the way, your child may become one of those advocates one day. I have told my own parents what they can do better and they listen. By the same token, I listen to people of color, LGBT people and other marginalized groups on what I can do to end discrimination.

I find the term "special needs" to be stigmatizing. Due to this stigma I felt embarrassed for being disabled during my teenage years. This did not help me at all. I had a negative self image. I didn't want any help or services that were aimed at "disabled" or "special needs" people. I was embarrassed if others saw me as "disabled" or "special".

this is a forum for parents.

Yes this is a forum for parents but 1. There are disabled parents on this forum and 2. Maybe their disabled children may also find the term stigmatizing. I am a parent as well. I do this "special needs" or "disabilities and conditions" is a better term for the forums because they are broader and cover all situations. But you don't need to use the term when there is a specific diagnosis and its confirmed your kid is disabled, unless your kid doesn't want the term "disabled" applied to them. Though as a disabled person myself, the term "disabled" is a safer bet than "special needs". Most (not all) disabled people feel this way.

[Anonymous]

If you are going to add “disabled” or “disabilities”, then why not “handicapped” or “handicaps”?

[Anonymous]

I can't understand for the life of me why everyone can't just use the term they wish to use. How is me calling my child's needs special needs taking away from another parent calling it a disability?