Tithing, Charity More than 10% of your AGI or combined incomes?

[Anonymous]

I'm 41. I started tithing at 14 with my first job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've struggled with this a lot. I feel called, in a religious sense, to donate 10% to a combination of church and charity, but my family is poor and I have been blessed. So I choose to "count" contributions to my young relatives' college accounts and similar help as "charity." (To be clear, don't mean my own kids.) By that rule we easily clear 10%.

I think this counts if your family is poor but not if your family is rich. My brother and his wife are hourly wage workers and can't really afford to save for college, so I've been putting money in a 529 for their kids, and obviously we don't write it off but it is "giving." But if they were rich doctors, and I was their millionaire grandparent who was funding college accounts for their kids as a way to avoid inheritance taxes, then it would seem a little ridiculous to call that "charity."

Thank you for staying this. Floating money between your wealthy relatives is not “charity”. Charity is helping someone who is in true dire straits. I’ve found those who are stingy at $100,000 will be stingy at 500,000. It doesn’t take much to donate. Eat one less takeout meal a month, purchase one less splurge a year and do one less vacation. There is purpose and promise found in giving to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't give to charity. Taking care of my household and child is my first and highest priority.

If I didn't have a mortgage and I had retirement and college handled, I would be more charitable.

It is possible to give to charity and also pay your mortgage and save for retirement and college. You would just have to prioritize charity over other non-mortgage/retirement/college uses of your disposable income. Could you eat out less? Buy less new clothing? That sort of thing?

[Anonymous]

We don’t tithe because I feel that religious authorities are not bound to provide a service the way other service providers are. we are told to tithe and we are not guaranteed that a religious authority will act as they have been taught to act.
I’ve seen cases where ministers have refused to marry a couple saying that they aren’t ready, like marriage is a solo flight or a scuba dive. When the couple challenges the authority, they are told they are being divisive or unloving or selfish and oh by the way, they still aren’t ready for marriage. It’s never “Well, Sally, you are still legally married even though you and Bill are separated, so legally I cannot marry you” it’s always a nebulous reason.

I’ve also seen religious authorities use “prayer” to get away with behavior that is frankly bigoted, i.e. “We can’t have Sally teach Sunday School, she’s blind, what could she possibly do and how would she manage it” without trying to learn how Sally would teach or giving her the same grace they’d give anybody else while she’s learning the ropes. It’s truly hateful and there is no way to fix it. At least with a marriage, you can find another person who can legally perform the ceremony, though for people who have spent a lifetime in a church, that is small comfort.




I’ve seen religious people gladly accept tithes and then refuse to help a member of their flock, a full tithe payer when that person has lost a job, saying that the person “needs to have faith” while continuing to demonstrate that faith by continuing to tithe.

I’ve seen religious leaders tell people to “forgive” when they have experienced bullying or sexually inappropriate comments by fellow parishoners, the burden seems to always be on the wronged person to “look within their heart and find forgiveness” like forginess is a lost sock and if you look a little deeper into the dryer, you’ll find it.

I would gladly pay a tithe if I felt assured of or had some recourse for failure to provide basic services without the murky language often used to cover up misguided, misinformed or flat-out abhorrent behavior.

I have faith in God, I don’t have faith in some of the people who work for him. Some of these people are wonderful, the ones who are not can do far more damage then they know… or maybe they do and simply don’t care. It doesn’t matter though, they get paid no matter what which is my problem.



Sent from Mail for Windows 10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t tithe because I feel that religious authorities are not bound to provide a service the way other service providers are. we are told to tithe and we are not guaranteed that a religious authority will act as they have been taught to act.
I’ve seen cases where ministers have refused to marry a couple saying that they aren’t ready, like marriage is a solo flight or a scuba dive. When the couple challenges the authority, they are told they are being divisive or unloving or selfish and oh by the way, they still aren’t ready for marriage. It’s never “Well, Sally, you are still legally married even though you and Bill are separated, so legally I cannot marry you” it’s always a nebulous reason.

I’ve also seen religious authorities use “prayer” to get away with behavior that is frankly bigoted, i.e. “We can’t have Sally teach Sunday School, she’s blind, what could she possibly do and how would she manage it” without trying to learn how Sally would teach or giving her the same grace they’d give anybody else while she’s learning the ropes. It’s truly hateful and there is no way to fix it. At least with a marriage, you can find another person who can legally perform the ceremony, though for people who have spent a lifetime in a church, that is small comfort.




I’ve seen religious people gladly accept tithes and then refuse to help a member of their flock, a full tithe payer when that person has lost a job, saying that the person “needs to have faith” while continuing to demonstrate that faith by continuing to tithe.

I’ve seen religious leaders tell people to “forgive” when they have experienced bullying or sexually inappropriate comments by fellow parishoners, the burden seems to always be on the wronged person to “look within their heart and find forgiveness” like forginess is a lost sock and if you look a little deeper into the dryer, you’ll find it.

I would gladly pay a tithe if I felt assured of or had some recourse for failure to provide basic services without the murky language often used to cover up misguided, misinformed or flat-out abhorrent behavior.

I have faith in God, I don’t have faith in some of the people who work for him. Some of these people are wonderful, the ones who are not can do far more damage then they know… or maybe they do and simply don’t care. It doesn’t matter though, they get paid no matter what which is my problem.



Sent from Mail for Windows 10

It seems like you have a lot of church hurt and anger still left to get resolved. Church like any other institution is full of humans. Humans who are people that likely will make errors over time. I don't aim to discount your personal experiences with various churches, but please understand not all branches of the body of Christ are lawless and uncaring. I pray that you find the right church in the future and healing for the pain you have received.

[Anonymous]

Reading through, I feel bad for those who have over-leveraged themselves to the point they can’t give to charity (religious or not). No one living in DC says at the end of the year “gee, what am I going to do with all of my leftover money” but it comes down to priorities. It’s sad you prioritize mortgage, kids camps, a new car, etc over feeding people who are hungry. If you are living in this area and have a mortgage, kids, etc you have more than enough to help the less fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've struggled with this a lot. I feel called, in a religious sense, to donate 10% to a combination of church and charity, but my family is poor and I have been blessed. So I choose to "count" contributions to my young relatives' college accounts and similar help as "charity." (To be clear, don't mean my own kids.) By that rule we easily clear 10%.

I think this counts if your family is poor but not if your family is rich. My brother and his wife are hourly wage workers and can't really afford to save for college, so I've been putting money in a 529 for their kids, and obviously we don't write it off but it is "giving." But if they were rich doctors, and I was their millionaire grandparent who was funding college accounts for their kids as a way to avoid inheritance taxes, then it would seem a little ridiculous to call that "charity."

Thank you for staying this. Floating money between your wealthy relatives is not “charity”. Charity is helping someone who is in true dire straits. I’ve found those who are stingy at $100,000 will be stingy at 500,000. It doesn’t take much to donate. Eat one less takeout meal a month, purchase one less splurge a year and do one less vacation. There is purpose and promise found in giving to others.

I was the first post in this chain, and yes, my family is low income. I’m certainly not talking about estate tax hacks!

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry to break this to you folks - I really, truly am - but all religions are completely made up. Maybe just donate directly to charities if you feel the need to give.

[Anonymous]

I like the PP upstream who is agnostic but still “tithes” in a way and donates 10% of their AGI to charities.

People who have anger towards religious Institutions, stop making excuses and donate where you want to but do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not in a cult, so no.

Good self justification

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in giving to charity. When I needed help I had to rely on government programs so instead of giving to charitable orgs I just don't cheat on my taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in giving to charity. When I needed help I had to rely on government programs so instead of giving to charitable orgs I just don't cheat on my taxes.

God this Bernie bro answer is the worst. I donate and I don’t cheat on my taxes. You’re just a cheapskate. Buzz off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry to break this to you folks - I really, truly am - but all religions are completely made up. Maybe just donate directly to charities if you feel the need to give.

So sorry truly am, that you have to live like this. Look at some eastern religions, one particularly comes to mind, not the religion of majority. If you are truly interested you will find it.

[Anonymous]

Good thread on donation shaming.. I AM pleasantly surprised at the number of givers.. Keep it up. Society needs you.

[Anonymous]

We are retired and our contributions have really increased. We set up a donor advised fund about 8 years ago and next year we will be required to take required minimum distributions from our retirement accounts and that will go to charity as our non retirement assets will cover our expenses. Combined the DAF and RMD dollars that go to charity will be a high percent of our retirement income.