Atheists/agnostics, why did you become atheist/agnostic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

If life is all there is and then we are just dust, then I better live a full and meaningful life. I better treat people well since their memories of me may be my only legacy. I better try to contribute and create so that my one life has as much purpose as possible.

Also, I think it is useful to focus on the consequences to your actions here, in this life, rather than in an afterlife. Thinking about how your actions help or hurt the world around you is a much more immediate way to think about morality than checking to see if they violate a list of behaviors handed down from a mysterious entity. I don't need a god to tell me that killing something would be wrong. The golden rule works pretty well. Read some Kant. It's pretty straightforward.

ITA. Ultimately, my deepest belief is that the only thing that matters is how we treat other people. By my moral code, much of the evil in our country is perpetrated by religious people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a deeply religious family. I went to church twice a week and went to religious private school. I was devout as a kid. But from my earliest memories I remember having questions and experiencing what I now understand was skepticism. I was a logical little kid (later became an engineer), and some of what I was taught just didn't make sense. But I was also terrified to admit it and kept my doubts quiet.

In college I stopped going to church as soon as i said goodbye to my parents, even though my mom signed me up (against my wishes) with the campus Christian fellowship group, who proceeded to stalk me for four years. I also met a lot of people with totally different backgrounds, some atheist, and they were all good people. I started losing my terror of disbelief and went through a phase where I called myself an agnostic. I also got very angry at what seemed clearly to be a form of mental control during this period. My questions weren't wrong, but I was made to feel like something evil or wrong just for having questions.

Finally I dropped the pretense entirely and accepted that I was atheist. I still remember the walk I was on when I was finally honest with myself. I remember feeling an enormous sense of peace and relief. It was as if a lifetime source of pain and tension was just alleviated. It's been over thirty years now and I still feel that sense of comfort and relief in being an atheist. I don't have to pretend I am something I am not; I can finally be my authentic self.

Sounds wonderful. Also sounds like descriptions of being "saved". Maybe it's a universal sense of release, irrespective of what is being released.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

Easy- if you're dead you're not around to worry about it.

I don't get what people find so unsettling about that. Wouldn't it be more unsettling to worry about how your friends, family and self are going to spend eternity and whether you'd forever be separated from them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:for people who "never bought it" even though you were exposed to religion as children, how did you deal with the fact that no religion means no afterlife?

That is, how did you deal with the fact that life is finite; that you would die and that would be the end of it?

Easy- if you're dead you're not around to worry about it.

I don't get what people find so unsettling about that. Wouldn't it be more unsettling to worry about how your friends, family and self are going to spend eternity and whether you'd forever be separated from them?

Death is the end. I don't find that unsettling. I would have a harder time wondering if I had jumped through enough hoops to be given an afterlife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

DP, but I fall into the same category.

I'm honestly a little confused by the question. Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious? To a Pastafarian, this would be like asking, "Why did you stop believing that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily?

Atheism or agnosticism seems like the default state. Even if you're told something, you don't really believe it until you have the capacity to make that decision for yourself. That might happen in some sudden revelation, or it might happen slowly as you age. But at some point, it changes from what you've been told to what you believe.

I grew up in a Catholic household. We went to church every Sunday. I went to CCD, which is like Catholic Sunday school, except it was on Wednesdays after school. I distinctly remember telling my CCD teacher on my first day that I didn't need to introduce myself because I wasn't going to be back- my mom said I only needed to go once and I didn't intend to come back. I lost that battle, though, both with the teacher and with my mom. I went through confirmation. I didn't want to, but was basically forced to play along. My mom even called my then-girlfriend to tell her she needed to make sure I made it through confirmation. And I did, but I always said I wouldn't lie to do it. I went through the motions, but never lied when asked a question. It seemed like the priest, church staff, and CCD teachers knew not to ask certain direct questions about beliefs.

So it wasn't that I became agnostic. I just never really became Catholic. And why not? Because no one ever provided evidence, or even a rational explanation, for why I should believe anything they were saying.

As for "Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious?" In some cases, yes, but for most people these days, the answer is a given, i.e., "because I was raised in a religion."

It would sort of be like asking "Why do you speak English?" It's because that's what people spoke at home. Not a perfect analogy, I know, but until recently most people were raised in a religion and "supposed" to believe what the religion taught. Their parents thought so and the society thought so. Clearly a lot of people responding here didn't fall into that mode.

In my case, I believed as a child and it slowly fell away as I got older. I admire the people here who realized early on what I figured out slowly and what many don't figure out at all.

A serious question: did you actually believe it as a child? Or were you just parroting it back? I think there's a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

DP, but I fall into the same category.

I'm honestly a little confused by the question. Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious? To a Pastafarian, this would be like asking, "Why did you stop believing that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily?

Atheism or agnosticism seems like the default state. Even if you're told something, you don't really believe it until you have the capacity to make that decision for yourself. That might happen in some sudden revelation, or it might happen slowly as you age. But at some point, it changes from what you've been told to what you believe.

I grew up in a Catholic household. We went to church every Sunday. I went to CCD, which is like Catholic Sunday school, except it was on Wednesdays after school. I distinctly remember telling my CCD teacher on my first day that I didn't need to introduce myself because I wasn't going to be back- my mom said I only needed to go once and I didn't intend to come back. I lost that battle, though, both with the teacher and with my mom. I went through confirmation. I didn't want to, but was basically forced to play along. My mom even called my then-girlfriend to tell her she needed to make sure I made it through confirmation. And I did, but I always said I wouldn't lie to do it. I went through the motions, but never lied when asked a question. It seemed like the priest, church staff, and CCD teachers knew not to ask certain direct questions about beliefs.

So it wasn't that I became agnostic. I just never really became Catholic. And why not? Because no one ever provided evidence, or even a rational explanation, for why I should believe anything they were saying.

As for "Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious?" In some cases, yes, but for most people these days, the answer is a given, i.e., "because I was raised in a religion."

It would sort of be like asking "Why do you speak English?" It's because that's what people spoke at home. Not a perfect analogy, I know, but until recently most people were raised in a religion and "supposed" to believe what the religion taught. Their parents thought so and the society thought so. Clearly a lot of people responding here didn't fall into that mode.

In my case, I believed as a child and it slowly fell away as I got older. I admire the people here who realized early on what I figured out slowly and what many don't figure out at all.

A serious question: did you actually believe it as a child? Or were you just parroting it back? I think there's a big difference.

I believed it -- but wasn't required to believe it very deeply. It was "there" - more something we did on Sunday than lived through the week. No parroting required.

By reading here, it seems evident that people have very different experiences with religion, depending on family influences, the requirements of their particular religion and individual personalities.

A serious question: did you believe in Santa Claus as a child? I'm also addressing this question to others here who say they were atheist/agnostic as children even though they were taught religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a deeply religious family. I went to church twice a week and went to religious private school. I was devout as a kid. But from my earliest memories I remember having questions and experiencing what I now understand was skepticism. I was a logical little kid (later became an engineer), and some of what I was taught just didn't make sense. But I was also terrified to admit it and kept my doubts quiet.

In college I stopped going to church as soon as i said goodbye to my parents, even though my mom signed me up (against my wishes) with the campus Christian fellowship group, who proceeded to stalk me for four years. I also met a lot of people with totally different backgrounds, some atheist, and they were all good people. I started losing my terror of disbelief and went through a phase where I called myself an agnostic. I also got very angry at what seemed clearly to be a form of mental control during this period. My questions weren't wrong, but I was made to feel like something evil or wrong just for having questions.

Finally I dropped the pretense entirely and accepted that I was atheist. I still remember the walk I was on when I was finally honest with myself. I remember feeling an enormous sense of peace and relief. It was as if a lifetime source of pain and tension was just alleviated. It's been over thirty years now and I still feel that sense of comfort and relief in being an atheist. I don't have to pretend I am something I am not; I can finally be my authentic self.

Sounds wonderful. Also sounds like descriptions of being "saved". Maybe it's a universal sense of release, irrespective of what is being released.

It is more akin to coming out of the closet and living honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

DP, but I fall into the same category.

I'm honestly a little confused by the question. Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious? To a Pastafarian, this would be like asking, "Why did you stop believing that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily?

Atheism or agnosticism seems like the default state. Even if you're told something, you don't really believe it until you have the capacity to make that decision for yourself. That might happen in some sudden revelation, or it might happen slowly as you age. But at some point, it changes from what you've been told to what you believe.

I grew up in a Catholic household. We went to church every Sunday. I went to CCD, which is like Catholic Sunday school, except it was on Wednesdays after school. I distinctly remember telling my CCD teacher on my first day that I didn't need to introduce myself because I wasn't going to be back- my mom said I only needed to go once and I didn't intend to come back. I lost that battle, though, both with the teacher and with my mom. I went through confirmation. I didn't want to, but was basically forced to play along. My mom even called my then-girlfriend to tell her she needed to make sure I made it through confirmation. And I did, but I always said I wouldn't lie to do it. I went through the motions, but never lied when asked a question. It seemed like the priest, church staff, and CCD teachers knew not to ask certain direct questions about beliefs.

So it wasn't that I became agnostic. I just never really became Catholic. And why not? Because no one ever provided evidence, or even a rational explanation, for why I should believe anything they were saying.

As for "Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious?" In some cases, yes, but for most people these days, the answer is a given, i.e., "because I was raised in a religion."

It would sort of be like asking "Why do you speak English?" It's because that's what people spoke at home. Not a perfect analogy, I know, but until recently most people were raised in a religion and "supposed" to believe what the religion taught. Their parents thought so and the society thought so. Clearly a lot of people responding here didn't fall into that mode.

In my case, I believed as a child and it slowly fell away as I got older. I admire the people here who realized early on what I figured out slowly and what many don't figure out at all.

A serious question: did you actually believe it as a child? Or were you just parroting it back? I think there's a big difference.

I believed it -- but wasn't required to believe it very deeply. It was "there" - more something we did on Sunday than lived through the week. No parroting required.

By reading here, it seems evident that people have very different experiences with religion, depending on family influences, the requirements of their particular religion and individual personalities.

A serious question: did you believe in Santa Claus as a child? I'm also addressing this question to others here who say they were atheist/agnostic as children even though they were taught religion.

I don't remember believing in Santa Claus, although I imagine I did at some point. I mostly remember my mom getting mad at me when I was in kindergarten and I didn't want to put milk and cookies out because I knew there was no Santa to eat them.

I do think there's a little difference, though. There's all kinds of "evidence" in the existence of Santa when you're a kid. You can see Santa at the mall. Presents appear with no one willing to take credit for them. There's books and movies. Sure, it's obvious when you're an older child, but preschoolers are, frankly, dumb.

I don't think you can really say preschoolers, or even young elementary, really believe in religion when they don't really have the mental capacity to make that decision. It's neither believing nor disbelieving.

[Anonymous]

DP. Answering OP's question - I didn't 'become' atheist, I was raised this way and, to this day, do think there is no God - and no afterlife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never really bought into it. It always just sounded like bullshit to me.

Same!

Fascinating! were either of you from religious families? e.g., went to services/Sunday school regularly? Did either of you tell your parents of your views as children? If so, how did they handle it?

DP, but I fall into the same category.

I'm honestly a little confused by the question. Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious? To a Pastafarian, this would be like asking, "Why did you stop believing that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe after drinking heavily?

Atheism or agnosticism seems like the default state. Even if you're told something, you don't really believe it until you have the capacity to make that decision for yourself. That might happen in some sudden revelation, or it might happen slowly as you age. But at some point, it changes from what you've been told to what you believe.

I grew up in a Catholic household. We went to church every Sunday. I went to CCD, which is like Catholic Sunday school, except it was on Wednesdays after school. I distinctly remember telling my CCD teacher on my first day that I didn't need to introduce myself because I wasn't going to be back- my mom said I only needed to go once and I didn't intend to come back. I lost that battle, though, both with the teacher and with my mom. I went through confirmation. I didn't want to, but was basically forced to play along. My mom even called my then-girlfriend to tell her she needed to make sure I made it through confirmation. And I did, but I always said I wouldn't lie to do it. I went through the motions, but never lied when asked a question. It seemed like the priest, church staff, and CCD teachers knew not to ask certain direct questions about beliefs.

So it wasn't that I became agnostic. I just never really became Catholic. And why not? Because no one ever provided evidence, or even a rational explanation, for why I should believe anything they were saying.

As for "Wouldn't it be better to flip the question around to ask why people became religious?" In some cases, yes, but for most people these days, the answer is a given, i.e., "because I was raised in a religion."

It would sort of be like asking "Why do you speak English?" It's because that's what people spoke at home. Not a perfect analogy, I know, but until recently most people were raised in a religion and "supposed" to believe what the religion taught. Their parents thought so and the society thought so. Clearly a lot of people responding here didn't fall into that mode.

In my case, I believed as a child and it slowly fell away as I got older. I admire the people here who realized early on what I figured out slowly and what many don't figure out at all.

A serious question: did you actually believe it as a child? Or were you just parroting it back? I think there's a big difference.

I believed it -- but wasn't required to believe it very deeply. It was "there" - more something we did on Sunday than lived through the week. No parroting required.

By reading here, it seems evident that people have very different experiences with religion, depending on family influences, the requirements of their particular religion and individual personalities.

A serious question: did you believe in Santa Claus as a child? I'm also addressing this question to others here who say they were atheist/agnostic as children even though they were taught religion.

I don't remember believing in Santa Claus, although I imagine I did at some point. I mostly remember my mom getting mad at me when I was in kindergarten and I didn't want to put milk and cookies out because I knew there was no Santa to eat them.

I do think there's a little difference, though. There's all kinds of "evidence" in the existence of Santa when you're a kid. You can see Santa at the mall. Presents appear with no one willing to take credit for them. There's books and movies. Sure, it's obvious when you're an older child, but preschoolers are, frankly, dumb.

I don't think you can really say preschoolers, or even young elementary, really believe in religion when they don't really have the mental capacity to make that decision. It's neither believing nor disbelieving.

Good points -- it's easier to believe in Santa, because you can see him, and he does something very tangible - brings you gifts. Also, even when you stop believing in him, the gifts keep coming. And everyone wants you to stop believing in him at some point. Unlike religion, belief in Santa is obviously kid stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP. Answering OP's question - I didn't 'become' atheist, I was raised this way and, to this day, do think there is no God - and no afterlife.

Given that organized religion is decreasing, I expect there will be more and more children like you, raised without religion, and without a sense of being weird, or outside the mainstream, or pressured by the majority to believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a deeply religious family. I went to church twice a week and went to religious private school. I was devout as a kid. But from my earliest memories I remember having questions and experiencing what I now understand was skepticism. I was a logical little kid (later became an engineer), and some of what I was taught just didn't make sense. But I was also terrified to admit it and kept my doubts quiet.

In college I stopped going to church as soon as i said goodbye to my parents, even though my mom signed me up (against my wishes) with the campus Christian fellowship group, who proceeded to stalk me for four years. I also met a lot of people with totally different backgrounds, some atheist, and they were all good people. I started losing my terror of disbelief and went through a phase where I called myself an agnostic. I also got very angry at what seemed clearly to be a form of mental control during this period. My questions weren't wrong, but I was made to feel like something evil or wrong just for having questions.

Finally I dropped the pretense entirely and accepted that I was atheist. I still remember the walk I was on when I was finally honest with myself. I remember feeling an enormous sense of peace and relief. It was as if a lifetime source of pain and tension was just alleviated. It's been over thirty years now and I still feel that sense of comfort and relief in being an atheist. I don't have to pretend I am something I am not; I can finally be my authentic self.

Sounds wonderful. Also sounds like descriptions of being "saved". Maybe it's a universal sense of release, irrespective of what is being released.

It is more akin to coming out of the closet and living honestly.

Got it -- it's an affirmation; not a revelation. Its acknowledging something you always had; not finding something new. It's accepting who you are; not changing who you are.

[Anonymous]

My family is not religious and it was never a subject at home. When I went to school I heard kids talking about god and religion and asked my mom about it. She explained something and said people think god is everywhere, sees and knows everything. Then I went to the bathroom and I was thinking about this and was really offput by the idea of god watching me poop. I decided then and there this was BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is not religious and it was never a subject at home. When I went to school I heard kids talking about god and religion and asked my mom about it. She explained something and said people think god is everywhere, sees and knows everything. Then I went to the bathroom and I was thinking about this and was really offput by the idea of god watching me poop. I decided then and there this was BS.

As a religious kd, I had a similar reaction to God being "everywhere", including with me in the bathroom. Then I simply decided that God didn't really want to spend time seeing everyone in the bathroom, so he just decided not to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you grew up with a religion

I wouldn't have opened this thread if I knew this was a condition to answering...lol