Do you still do your kid’s laundry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is weird to me.

Just from a privacy standpoint, it’s weird to be washing a teenager’s underwear. It’s not that I’m worried a college student wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use a washer in the dorms — of course they would! It’s more the principle that you’re having someone else wash your dirty underwear. It’s weird. It’s the equivalent of continuing to wipe your teens buts because “of course” they’ll be able to figure it out when they leave home! Some things are about privacy and bodily autonomy.

Why would underwear need privacy? I think this is an odd viewpoint.

So you’d let anyone see and touch your underwear? Ooooookay.

[Anonymous]

The laundry room is MINE. Kids, DH, no one but me can go in there. Well they go in sometimes looking for something, but otherwise it's my oasis of sanity. The laundry doesn't moan and groan, it doesn't ask me what's for dinner, it doesn't ask me where their missing stuff is, it doesn't leave dirty dishes in the basement.

I'm thinking of putting a TV and a lounge chair in there.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 9 so I still do family loads. But I started doing my own when I was 11/starting middle school. I expect to do the same with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The laundry room is MINE. Kids, DH, no one but me can go in there. Well they go in sometimes looking for something, but otherwise it's my oasis of sanity. The laundry doesn't moan and groan, it doesn't ask me what's for dinner, it doesn't ask me where their missing stuff is, it doesn't leave dirty dishes in the basement.

I'm thinking of putting a TV and a lounge chair in there.

That's not a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do a lot of things but laundry isn't one of them. We have too many people living in our house for one person to be hogging one of the washing machines or dryers.

Usually by late elementary school they can and will do a load if they need something that they discovered wasn't in the laundry basket. Other than that they don't start doing laundry for real until the summer before they leave for college. That's the system I've set up and I'm sticking with it. They are doing so many other things outstandingly well that I am not worrying about laundry.

If doing laundry is your line in the sand for whether a kid is a lay-about or productive then I think it is a dumb metric.

I think you miss the point. You shouldn't do things for your kids that they can do for themselves. It should be a source of pride for them that they can take care of their own needs. When you deny them that you do them no favor.

As a family you take care of each other. Its not about if one person can do it. Its about being a family and a collective. If I'm cooking and serving food, I do it for everyone. If my child is cooking, he will offer the rest of us food, etc. We all help each other out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is weird to me.

Just from a privacy standpoint, it’s weird to be washing a teenager’s underwear. It’s not that I’m worried a college student wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use a washer in the dorms — of course they would! It’s more the principle that you’re having someone else wash your dirty underwear. It’s weird. It’s the equivalent of continuing to wipe your teens buts because “of course” they’ll be able to figure it out when they leave home! Some things are about privacy and bodily autonomy.

Why is it weird? Do you have a housekeeper who cleans up after you?

I do the entire families laundry and guests when they come. I couldn't care less and buy all the underwear too. I have boys. They don't care what I buy so they get what's cheap.

NP - Wait, so you do your guests’ laundry too? Sorry, but I agree with PP. This is weird, and also weird that the guests would be ok with it. I find this hard to believe. After all how long are they staying with you that they’d even need laundry done by you or anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do a lot of things but laundry isn't one of them. We have too many people living in our house for one person to be hogging one of the washing machines or dryers.

Usually by late elementary school they can and will do a load if they need something that they discovered wasn't in the laundry basket. Other than that they don't start doing laundry for real until the summer before they leave for college. That's the system I've set up and I'm sticking with it. They are doing so many other things outstandingly well that I am not worrying about laundry.

If doing laundry is your line in the sand for whether a kid is a lay-about or productive then I think it is a dumb metric.

I think you miss the point. You shouldn't do things for your kids that they can do for themselves. It should be a source of pride for them that they can take care of their own needs. When you deny them that you do them no favor.

My kids know how to do their own laundry and never had chores beyond taking out the trash and recycling. They help out when asked. They are good people and good students. Sometimes chores are just something to fight about. With the pandemic my focus is on keeping my remaining child at home focused and mentally well. All she has to do is her school work. She doesn't wash a pan but she is doing all of her college apps on her own. That's enough. Keeping house is not rocket science. She'll do it when she needs to and she's got a lifetime of dishes and laundry and all that garbage ahead of her. More than happy to do it for her for now.

[Anonymous]

My teen does laundry for the entire house. Sharing household responsibilities is everyone's job. Laundry is something he'll do with little complaint and rarely a reminder, so I'm happy to offload that chore to him.

Though, if he's really stressed about balancing school and sports, I'll help out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids do a lot of things but laundry isn't one of them. We have too many people living in our house for one person to be hogging one of the washing machines or dryers.

Usually by late elementary school they can and will do a load if they need something that they discovered wasn't in the laundry basket. Other than that they don't start doing laundry for real until the summer before they leave for college. That's the system I've set up and I'm sticking with it. They are doing so many other things outstandingly well that I am not worrying about laundry.

If doing laundry is your line in the sand for whether a kid is a lay-about or productive then I think it is a dumb metric.

I think you miss the point. You shouldn't do things for your kids that they can do for themselves. It should be a source of pride for them that they can take care of their own needs. When you deny them that you do them no favor.

My kids know how to do their own laundry and never had chores beyond taking out the trash and recycling. They help out when asked. They are good people and good students. Sometimes chores are just something to fight about. With the pandemic my focus is on keeping my remaining child at home focused and mentally well. All she has to do is her school work. She doesn't wash a pan but she is doing all of her college apps on her own. That's enough. Keeping house is not rocket science. She'll do it when she needs to and she's got a lifetime of dishes and laundry and all that garbage ahead of her. More than happy to do it for her for now.

That's us too. Our kids are capable of doing the domestic chores and are always willing to do it cheerfully. But, right now, I'd rather they go on a walk or bike, facetime their friends or watch a movie etc. My kids are in HS and there is pressure of school work, EC activities and college application and internship process. I am more than happy to cater to my entire family by making my home a comfortable place for all. Be it cleaning the house, doing laundry, taking care of routine paperwork, cooking meals etc

[Anonymous]

I do the laundry of my entire family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is weird to me.

Just from a privacy standpoint, it’s weird to be washing a teenager’s underwear. It’s not that I’m worried a college student wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use a washer in the dorms — of course they would! It’s more the principle that you’re having someone else wash your dirty underwear. It’s weird. It’s the equivalent of continuing to wipe your teens buts because “of course” they’ll be able to figure it out when they leave home! Some things are about privacy and bodily autonomy.

Why is it weird? Do you have a housekeeper who cleans up after you?

I do the entire families laundry and guests when they come. I couldn't care less and buy all the underwear too. I have boys. They don't care what I buy so they get what's cheap.

NP - Wait, so you do your guests’ laundry too? Sorry, but I agree with PP. This is weird, and also weird that the guests would be ok with it. I find this hard to believe. After all how long are they staying with you that they’d even need laundry done by you or anyone else?

One particular family, yes and I try to do all the cooking as they are the nightmare guests and parents scream at the kids about everything when parents create the drama. Its easier to do it and not have a big mess to clean up or listen to parents scream. They come uninvited and stay a week or so. Kids prefer my cooking so its easier to cook then have the parents yell at the kids to eat their food and the parents don't cook for us so I have to cook anyway. Some family stays 6-8 weeks. Sometimes I do it but they do a lot of other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is weird to me.

Just from a privacy standpoint, it’s weird to be washing a teenager’s underwear. It’s not that I’m worried a college student wouldn’t be able to figure out how to use a washer in the dorms — of course they would! It’s more the principle that you’re having someone else wash your dirty underwear. It’s weird. It’s the equivalent of continuing to wipe your teens buts because “of course” they’ll be able to figure it out when they leave home! Some things are about privacy and bodily autonomy.

Why would underwear need privacy? I think this is an odd viewpoint.

Skid marks? Evidence of teen wet dreams? Period blood?

I have boys and they don't care.

[Anonymous]

I plan to start them at 8 the same way I did. I'm particularly insistant on teachng them household chores and having them clean up after themselves because they are boys. I refuse to give them the idea mommy/wife is there to clean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it till they left for college...just for efficiency. I hated to run mulitple small loads. I do not think laundry is something you really need much practice with. They had plenty of other responsibilities.

+1

[Anonymous]

Once they leave for college, don’t bother helping unless you don’t mind washing random panties and things girls left behind.

I started to load, then immediately stopped. He can handle it.