Are you offended being called "Ma'am"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the south, Ma'am was used as a term of respect. While I didn't have to call my parents Sir or Ma'am, it was expected in both formal situations (professional, educational, etc.) and as a polite form of address for general, anonymous encounters. Aside from not being used for children, age really had nothing to do with it. My parents are in their 70's and still address teenagers working the counter at McDonalds or bagging groceries as Sir or Ma'am.

You know this has racist undertones, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you who don't say ma'am or sir- what do you say when the person in front of you drops her keys? "Hey you!" ? I don't know her name. Sometimes I say "excuse me, you dropped your keys" but that doesn't get their attention the same way.

I go with “Excuse me,” and increase in volume as needed.

[Anonymous]

I prefer it.

I am a non-White immigrant and Ma'am and Sir were always a sign of respect and politeness. It had nothing to do with age. Get these words back in common usage because we need some way to make our public discourse polite.

I had never heard so much usage of bad words and cussing in public until I came to America. Why is everyone so rude? Even the POTUS words and insinuations are untrue, mean and frankly from the gutter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the south, Ma'am was used as a term of respect. While I didn't have to call my parents Sir or Ma'am, it was expected in both formal situations (professional, educational, etc.) and as a polite form of address for general, anonymous encounters. Aside from not being used for children, age really had nothing to do with it. My parents are in their 70's and still address teenagers working the counter at McDonalds or bagging groceries as Sir or Ma'am.

You know this has racist undertones, right?

You know this is entirely in your head, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Growing up in the south, Ma'am was used as a term of respect. While I didn't have to call my parents Sir or Ma'am, it was expected in both formal situations (professional, educational, etc.) and as a polite form of address for general, anonymous encounters. Aside from not being used for children, age really had nothing to do with it. My parents are in their 70's and still address teenagers working the counter at McDonalds or bagging groceries as Sir or Ma'am.

You know this has racist undertones, right?

No, because it doesnt.

[Anonymous]

Military brat and this is ingrained in me. I take no offense but am not easily rattled or offended by someone trying to be polite and respectful.

I use ma’am and sir and I’m in a front facing public service role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me ma’am is considered rude.

Excuse me miss is preferred.

Yes ma’am is not considered rude.

Not true for me. I am over 40. Please do not call me “miss” in any situation. It is condescending.

I agree, but so many women have a weird attitude toward aging. My MIL in her mid 60’s is obsessed with aging and trying to look young. Most women like that are fooling no one.

And do you know why? Because at a certain age we are ignored, invisible and dismissed That's why. If you are an older man you are "distinguished" and sir can be used if you are young and old. I'm not a miss but, I am not a Ma'am.

I was "ma'am-ed" in the south as soon as I took a professional position, which was in my 20s. It just meant that I was no longer a young girl. If I'm ignored, invisible, or dismissed, I speak up to make sure that stops.

I'm the pp. You missed my point entirely. Of course, most women can speak up but, I'm talking about why most women prefer not to be called Ma'am. And it is because older women in our society are ignored, dismissed and treated as invisible. And being called Ma'am means you are old and therefore are will be treated as such. And I am not talking about a personal situation I am talking about our society..

one example although many: Who makes clothes for older women that are fashionable and with the times It is all youth oriented. Now do you get it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer it.

I am a non-White immigrant and Ma'am and Sir were always a sign of respect and politeness. It had nothing to do with age. Get these words back in common usage because we need some way to make our public discourse polite.

I had never heard so much usage of bad words and cussing in public until I came to America. Why is everyone so rude? Even the POTUS words and insinuations are untrue, mean and frankly from the gutter.

He is the lowest human on the earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you who don't say ma'am or sir- what do you say when the person in front of you drops her keys? "Hey you!" ? I don't know her name. Sometimes I say "excuse me, you dropped your keys" but that doesn't get their attention the same way.

"HI!"
"Excuse me"

Either works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what do you want to be called in situations where interaction is just passing such as with wait staff in a restaurant or the clerk at the courthouse? Someplace where use of first name is not appropriate and no one knows your last name?

First name is totally fine with me. Where I grew up even elders were on a first name basis with children. As above, "excuse me", "hi", "hello" all work if you are making good eye contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Excuse me ma’am is considered rude.

Excuse me miss is preferred.

Yes ma’am is not considered rude.

Not true for me. I am over 40. Please do not call me “miss” in any situation. It is condescending.

I agree, but so many women have a weird attitude toward aging. My MIL in her mid 60’s is obsessed with aging and trying to look young. Most women like that are fooling no one.

And do you know why? Because at a certain age we are ignored, invisible and dismissed That's why. If you are an older man you are "distinguished" and sir can be used if you are young and old. I'm not a miss but, I am not a Ma'am.

I was "ma'am-ed" in the south as soon as I took a professional position, which was in my 20s. It just meant that I was no longer a young girl. If I'm ignored, invisible, or dismissed, I speak up to make sure that stops.

I'm the pp. You missed my point entirely. Of course, most women can speak up but, I'm talking about why most women prefer not to be called Ma'am. And it is because older women in our society are ignored, dismissed and treated as invisible. And being called Ma'am means you are old and therefore are will be treated as such. And I am not talking about a personal situation I am talking about our society..

one example although many: Who makes clothes for older women that are fashionable and with the times It is all youth oriented. Now do you get it?

No. My point was / is that in the south being called ma'am has very little to do with age and a lot to do with respect.

It's why a lot of black women I grew up around wanted to be called ma'am because their mothers didn't get that respect due to racism.

I'm a middle aged woman who prefers to be called ma'am. It is a sign of respect and politeness to me. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

I remember the first time I was rudely ma’amed .

[Anonymous]

For people who are offended or would prefer it not be used, what do you use instead. Like, if you saw something fall out of a woman’s purse as you were behind her on the sidewalk (an occasion where I might say “excuse me, miss/madam/sir I think you dropped something”) what would you say to get the person’s attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who are offended or would prefer it not be used, what do you use instead. Like, if you saw something fall out of a woman’s purse as you were behind her on the sidewalk (an occasion where I might say “excuse me, miss/madam/sir I think you dropped something”) what would you say to get the person’s attention?

Excuse me or hi, it's not necessary to use an honorific to get someone's attention.

[Anonymous]

After about 30-35, being called Miss (unless it was by someone over 80) just sounded swarmy, fake and weird. After 30, I preferred Ma’am.