My 3 year old is starting to realize things are weird and it's so sad ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 y/o isn’t sad yet, but I’m sad for him because young kids should be at school learning, having play dates, looking forward to their birthday party, traveling to see grandparents, etc. Not stuck at home with too much screen time while mom and dad scramble to keep generating an income stream. So I’m sad for him because he has no understanding yet that this is going to last a long time and I know after possibly months of this, it’s going to be really hard on him. He’s a social kid who always wants to be active and around others. I haven’t had the heart yet to tell him t-ball is canceled because he has been obsessing over the season staring since before Christmas. Who in the world wouldn’t be bummed about dashing their child’s excitement about something because of a pandemic that still has a lot of unknowns.

Is this the end of the world? No. Are there people suffering worse issues (lay offs/illness)? Of course. Will we do our best to remain positive and try to reach him resiliency? Absolutely.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a sad, crappy situation.

Your problem is lack of childcare. Find a responsible HS or college aged babysitter.

We have one sitter we use for date nights, but she is high risk. To find a HS or college kid, I’d have to find someone brand new to our family a) willing to been babysit during a pandemic and b) that we trust is adequately social distancing, not out partying like so many of the younger people seem to be. Not to mention a large portion of my paycheck is continuing to pay preschool. Having to pay for even a part time sitter on top of things is going to mean I lose money to work. But thanks for totally just writing off what my family is going through.

Ok, it was just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. If you want to be miserable then be miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 y/o isn’t sad yet, but I’m sad for him because young kids should be at school learning, having play dates, looking forward to their birthday party, traveling to see grandparents, etc. Not stuck at home with too much screen time while mom and dad scramble to keep generating an income stream. So I’m sad for him because he has no understanding yet that this is going to last a long time and I know after possibly months of this, it’s going to be really hard on him. He’s a social kid who always wants to be active and around others. I haven’t had the heart yet to tell him t-ball is canceled because he has been obsessing over the season staring since before Christmas. Who in the world wouldn’t be bummed about dashing their child’s excitement about something because of a pandemic that still has a lot of unknowns.

Is this the end of the world? No. Are there people suffering worse issues (lay offs/illness)? Of course. Will we do our best to remain positive and try to reach him resiliency? Absolutely.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a sad, crappy situation.

Your problem is lack of childcare. Find a responsible HS or college aged babysitter.

We have one sitter we use for date nights, but she is high risk. To find a HS or college kid, I’d have to find someone brand new to our family a) willing to been babysit during a pandemic and b) that we trust is adequately social distancing, not out partying like so many of the younger people seem to be. Not to mention a large portion of my paycheck is continuing to pay preschool. Having to pay for even a part time sitter on top of things is going to mean I lose money to work. But thanks for totally just writing off what my family is going through.

Ok, it was just a suggestion. Take it or leave it. If you want to be miserable then be miserable.

It was a flippant suggestion during a time when a lot of people are struggling. We will continue to make do and I wouldn’t classify our life as “miserable.” But this is a difficult experience for many children and I think it’s okay to acknowledge that while also understanding there are many people suffering lay offs, illness, etc. that are far worse. We should be living our lives with empathy for others right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 y/o isn’t sad yet, but I’m sad for him because young kids should be at school learning, having play dates, looking forward to their birthday party, traveling to see grandparents, etc. Not stuck at home with too much screen time while mom and dad scramble to keep generating an income stream. So I’m sad for him because he has no understanding yet that this is going to last a long time and I know after possibly months of this, it’s going to be really hard on him. He’s a social kid who always wants to be active and around others. I haven’t had the heart yet to tell him t-ball is canceled because he has been obsessing over the season staring since before Christmas. Who in the world wouldn’t be bummed about dashing their child’s excitement about something because of a pandemic that still has a lot of unknowns.

Is this the end of the world? No. Are there people suffering worse issues (lay offs/illness)? Of course. Will we do our best to remain positive and try to reach him resiliency? Absolutely.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a sad, crappy situation.

Your problem is lack of childcare. Find a responsible HS or college aged babysitter.

We have one sitter we use for date nights, but she is high risk. To find a HS or college kid, I’d have to find someone brand new to our family a) willing to been babysit during a pandemic and b) that we trust is adequately social distancing, not out partying like so many of the younger people seem to be. Not to mention a large portion of my paycheck is continuing to pay preschool. Having to pay for even a part time sitter on top of things is going to mean I lose money to work. But thanks for totally just writing off what my family is going through.

+1

[Anonymous]

Like 9/11, this is a sad time for children. To fail to acknowledge that is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

We told my four-and-a-half-year-old the truth that people are sick and we all need to stay at home and stay away from people to be safe. she has gotten to video chat with her preschool teachers and one of her classmates so we are socially distance but not isolated. I know she's a little more stressed out and anxious than normal.

The hard thing is that she is still convinced that she will only have to stay at home for two weeks and then the virus will go away and I haven't really said anything because I don't really know what's going to happen but all evidence points to school closures lasting a lot longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your young child is SO SAD after one week, they are picking up those feelings from their parents.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your young child is SO SAD after one week, they are picking up those feelings from their parents.

This.

If they aren’t very intelligent and probably have no idea what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh I have two three year olds and it’s not that sad unless you project your sadness and anxiety into them. I’ve mentally prepared mine for this since the end of January and I’m making it fun and talking about how great it is that we get to spend more time together. We are Skype by grandparents rather than visiting, crafts at home rather than at school, learning more about how germs spread and the importance of not wasting food. Embrace it and reframe it.

Please just don’t chime in if you’re going to be so insensitive. Reframing an experience doesn’t make a kid’s strong feelings go away. I’m glad your kids are adapting well and have each other to play with and local family to spend time with during these challenging times. My three year old is an only child so no siblings to play with, we have no local family (but we do have grandparents who were going to visit this spring and who had to cancel planned trips) and extremely sensitive to any change or disruption in routine. It’s incredibly rude to dismiss other people’s kids feelings about this whole situation and to blame parents for not doing a better job to reframe it or make it fun. Do you regularly minimize or dismiss your own kid’s feelings? Just give them another week and I promise they won’t think all the crafts at home or learning not to waste food are so awesome.

They aren’t spending time with family. That’s the point. They don’t get to do all the thin gas we had planned or see who they wanted to see. This is hard for everyone. But it’s up to you as the parent not to bring your kid down.

No sh*t, Sherlock. But you know what, my kid is sad about this stuff. She was looking forward to grandparents visiting. You can’t reframe the fact that this coming weekend, Grandma isn’t coming. She’s been looking forward to it for weeks. To imply that somehow as a parent I am bringing my sensitive kid down because they are experiencing legitimate sadness over the loss of routines, planned visits with family, and in person time with friends and teachers is insulting. Some kids are really perceptive and sensitive to the world outside them. Others are largely not and unaffected. If you’re blessed to have the latter, good for you. But don’t imply that somehow us parents with kids who are having a harder tome dealing with this than other kids are the problem. That is rude AF.

You will have to work harder at parenting than you did before all of this started. But I know you can do it. Dig deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh I have two three year olds and it’s not that sad unless you project your sadness and anxiety into them. I’ve mentally prepared mine for this since the end of January and I’m making it fun and talking about how great it is that we get to spend more time together. We are Skype by grandparents rather than visiting, crafts at home rather than at school, learning more about how germs spread and the importance of not wasting food. Embrace it and reframe it.

Please just don’t chime in if you’re going to be so insensitive. Reframing an experience doesn’t make a kid’s strong feelings go away. I’m glad your kids are adapting well and have each other to play with and local family to spend time with during these challenging times. My three year old is an only child so no siblings to play with, we have no local family (but we do have grandparents who were going to visit this spring and who had to cancel planned trips) and extremely sensitive to any change or disruption in routine. It’s incredibly rude to dismiss other people’s kids feelings about this whole situation and to blame parents for not doing a better job to reframe it or make it fun. Do you regularly minimize or dismiss your own kid’s feelings? Just give them another week and I promise they won’t think all the crafts at home or learning not to waste food are so awesome.

They aren’t spending time with family. That’s the point. They don’t get to do all the thin gas we had planned or see who they wanted to see. This is hard for everyone. But it’s up to you as the parent not to bring your kid down.

And what about my post implied that I’m not doing that? FFS the level of smugness and sanctimoniousness on these boards has reached a new high. You dare to allow your kids to play outside with other kids? You’re an awful person. You forgot to check out 70 library books before the library closed? Horrible parent. You aren’t willing or able to hire a high school or college kid to watch your kids on top of paying for child care? Awful parent whose not committed to their job. Your kid is sad about missing school and friends? You suck as a dad/mom, it must be because you are pushing sad feelings on them and not reframing it. You can’t avoid your kid interacting with others because you live in the city/a small apartment or condo/are a single parents/ etc? You’re pathetic, you should never have had kids unless you could afford a separate playroom, large SFH with fenced yard and swing set, live in au pair, and have a partner and a high HHI. Parent of an only? How sad for you, your poor child must be going nuts with no other siblings to play with. Sad.

Seriously I’ve never seen this level of nastiness and pettiness. It’s totally unreal.

No sh*t, Sherlock. But you know what, my kid is sad about this stuff. She was looking forward to grandparents visiting. You can’t reframe the fact that this coming weekend, Grandma isn’t coming. She’s been looking forward to it for weeks. To imply that somehow as a parent I am bringing my sensitive kid down because they are experiencing legitimate sadness over the loss of routines, planned visits with family, and in person time with friends and teachers is insulting. Some kids are really perceptive and sensitive to the world outside them. Others are largely not and unaffected. If you’re blessed to have the latter, good for you. But don’t imply that somehow us parents with kids who are having a harder tome dealing with this than other kids are the problem. That is rude AF.

You will have to work harder at parenting than you did before all of this started. But I know you can do it. Dig deep.

[Anonymous]

This is what I meant to post.

And what about my post implied that I’m not doing that? FFS the level of smugness and sanctimoniousness on these boards has reached a new high. You dare to allow your kids to play outside with other kids? You’re an awful person. You forgot to check out 70 library books before the library closed? Horrible parent. You aren’t willing or able to hire a high school or college kid to watch your kids on top of paying for child care? Awful parent whose not committed to their job. Your kid is sad about missing school and friends? You suck as a dad/mom, it must be because you are pushing sad feelings on them and not reframing it. You can’t avoid your kid interacting with others because you live in the city/a small apartment or condo/are a single parents/ etc? You’re pathetic, you should never have had kids unless you could afford a separate playroom, large SFH with fenced yard and swing set, live in au pair, and have a partner and a high HHI. Parent of an only? How sad for you, your poor child must be going nuts with no other siblings to play with. Sad.

Seriously I’ve never seen this level of nastiness and pettiness. It’s totally unreal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your young child is SO SAD after one week, they are picking up those feelings from their parents.

This.

If they aren’t very intelligent and probably have no idea what’s going on.

Huh? Are you talking about a little kid being not very intelligent?

[Anonymous]

So many comments here are unhelpful and depressing. Get off this Board, OP! Me too. Find a supportive network, which I've found through my family who are scattered but technologically proficient. This is hard and so so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what I meant to post.

And what about my post implied that I’m not doing that? FFS the level of smugness and sanctimoniousness on these boards has reached a new high. You dare to allow your kids to play outside with other kids? You’re an awful person. You forgot to check out 70 library books before the library closed? Horrible parent. You aren’t willing or able to hire a high school or college kid to watch your kids on top of paying for child care? Awful parent whose not committed to their job. Your kid is sad about missing school and friends? You suck as a dad/mom, it must be because you are pushing sad feelings on them and not reframing it. You can’t avoid your kid interacting with others because you live in the city/a small apartment or condo/are a single parents/ etc? You’re pathetic, you should never have had kids unless you could afford a separate playroom, large SFH with fenced yard and swing set, live in au pair, and have a partner and a high HHI. Parent of an only? How sad for you, your poor child must be going nuts with no other siblings to play with. Sad.

Seriously I’ve never seen this level of nastiness and pettiness. It’s totally unreal.

So much this. It’s like all the uncertainty and unknown is bringing nastiness out in people. I’m sure it’s defense mechanism to feel like *they* are handling this the right way and will be okay. But I’d prefer to become more empathetic from this experience.

[Anonymous]

My 3yo is having the time of his life being spoiled with attention from his grandparents, who happened to be visiting us when this all started and will probably stay for the remainder of quarantine. These are the times when multi-generational families are awesome since everyone can share the childcare load.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot can be done to make things fun for kids, and take away their anxiety about all of the changes. My kids are pretty happy about the prospect of having both parents home all of the time (we’re both fortunate enough to telework right now)). I’ve also told my older DD to pick one fun thing she wants to do each day (make cookies, paint, etc) and she’s excited about that too. We FaceTime with family and friends. It’s probably harder with older kids, but for our early elementary DD and toddler, since I seem happy about all just being together as a family, they’re pretty happy too.