Daycare or Nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare has had such an enormously positive impact on our entire family. We have made so many family friends through our daycare center; many of the teachers have become friends and/or weekend babysitters. Our daycare follows a third party curriculum so my kids get sensory activities (as babies) and arts/crafts as toddlers; they go to library storytime, they go to the grocery store, they get Spanish every day. They love their little friends and teachers. My youngest is still a baby so who knows how she'll turn out but my oldest is the most outgoing, friendly kid I've ever met. She lsings her daycare songs constantly and is always playing "teacher" with her baby dolls and acting out games she learned.

I'm a little surprised the tide is SO heavily toward nanny here tbh. I think both have enormous value but honestly, once we had our second the cost would have been the same and we opted to stick with daycare. It's like a second home to us. Both of our kids have gone since they were 3 months old.

Selfishly I also love that they are out of the house. Less wear and tear on the house, less mess, less junk I have to buy, and way less groceries and cooking.

Just wanted to weigh in with a slightly different POV. We love daycare.

I agree with this. I love our daycare. Also, I felt like I could trust a reputable daycare more than a nanny even with the best reviews. I found the biggest trade-off to be that your baby will get sick more often at first. That is something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare has had such an enormously positive impact on our entire family. We have made so many family friends through our daycare center; many of the teachers have become friends and/or weekend babysitters. Our daycare follows a third party curriculum so my kids get sensory activities (as babies) and arts/crafts as toddlers; they go to library storytime, they go to the grocery store, they get Spanish every day. They love their little friends and teachers. My youngest is still a baby so who knows how she'll turn out but my oldest is the most outgoing, friendly kid I've ever met. She lsings her daycare songs constantly and is always playing "teacher" with her baby dolls and acting out games she learned.

I'm a little surprised the tide is SO heavily toward nanny here tbh. I think both have enormous value but honestly, once we had our second the cost would have been the same and we opted to stick with daycare. It's like a second home to us. Both of our kids have gone since they were 3 months old.

Selfishly I also love that they are out of the house. Less wear and tear on the house, less mess, less junk I have to buy, and way less groceries and cooking.

Just wanted to weigh in with a slightly different POV. We love daycare.

I agree with this. I love our daycare. Also, I felt like I could trust a reputable daycare more than a nanny even with the best reviews. I found the biggest trade-off to be that your baby will get sick more often at first. That is something to consider.

Yep, and if they are sick you can't take them in. That is another huge annoyance about daycare. But on the flip side you don't have to worry about your nanny's sick days, vacation days, etc.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Nanny. But the cost was never an issue for us. And I wanted our baby to be cared for specifically. Not herded along in a group, forced to eat and nap when the daycare decided it was time.

Herded? You should see the bayonets they use to keep the toddlers in line. It is actually really cute and sweet to see the little kids line up to go to the playground and the like.

Also, they don't try to keep infants on a schedule. They eat and sleep when they want to.

There are pros and cons to both set ups; it is just really funny to see some of the caricatures that people have of daycare, in most cases by people who have never used a daycare, or at least a good one.

Please name some daycares that you think are such a great places for a four month old baby.

+1 Do people really think putting a 4 month old in an institution 8 hours a day is better than being at their own home with one person?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We did daycare. More eyes watching.

And more kids to watch. Not sure about your logic.

DP. The logic seems clear to me. A downside of a nanny is it is just one person. At a daycare, there are multiple adults in the room and then even more in a building. Of course, there is more than one kid to watch, but that doesn't negate the benefits of additional eyes to prevent the kind of issues that can arise when only adult is present.

NP here. Yeah, we all want to believe that but it simply isn’t true. Daycare is no guarantee that your baby isn’t going to be treated roughly by a tired, underpaid employee or your baby ignored when hungry because the daycare worker has another baby to feed.

And the kind of issues you’re worried about (nanny hitting or abusing the child) are so very, very rare. All the nannies I know are devoted to their little ones and seem to really love them. And their littles light up around their nannies.

I’m neutral on the nanny vs. daycare debate but your hyperbolic post did make me laugh.

A fair portion of the nannies I see at parks or libraries are on their phones. I don’t blame them but they are hardly glowing with love for their clients.

How do you know the women on their phones are nannies and not mothers or grandmothers? SAHM here and the vast, vast majority of women I see on their phones are other SAHMs.

I live in Arlington and it's obvious when some kids are with their nannies. I don't care if moms or nannies are on their phones. But don't pretend that nannies aren't tired and underpaid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider a nanny-share? You could do it at your house for convenience and it cuts the price way down-closer to daycare costs (at least in DC)

OP here. We are not interested in a nanny share.

I was coming on here to suggest a nanny-share and am curious why you wouldn't consider one. We have done nanny, daycare, and nanny-share at different times for our kids, and the nanny-share was our favorite form of child-care. It allowed for some built-in socialization and was a bit more affordable than having our own nanny. I also appreciated collaborating with another family, especially after having our first kid. A nanny-share felt like the best of both words.

That said, there's no right answer to your question. Some people prefer daycares because there are more eyes on the kids and they are licensed (hopefully). Others like nannies for the in-home care, convenience, and one-on-one attention. Personally I think for young babies nannies are better. But you need to screen very carefully and it's a lot more work to manage, both in the hiring and day-to-day, than a daycare. And of course a lot more expensive. Still, we felt it was more than worth it and we were very fortunate to be able to afford it.

[Anonymous]

Daycare

Socialization, *oversight* (even with nanny cams, it's an issue), connection with other families, and special events (sing a longs, holiday parties, carnivals, etc.)

[Anonymous]

My spouse is a pediatrician, and felt pretty strongly that we should do nanny the first year. So, we did combo of PT nanny, along with a few hours with each parent per week.

From about 1 year on, we did a high-quality daycare. Yes, our kid stayed sick that first year. But, overall, it was a great decision. Six years later, and we've had lasting relationships with the staff and families we met there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare

Socialization, *oversight* (even with nanny cams, it's an issue), connection with other families, and special events (sing a longs, holiday parties, carnivals, etc.)

A 3-year-old needs peer socialization, a 4-month-old doesn't. OP could get a nanny then switch to preschool around 3 and it would be the best of both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Nanny

Then starting at 2-3 you do nanny + morning preschool (like 3, 4 hour type thing)

[Anonymous]

I have no clue why anyone would choose a daycare over a good nanny. All those germs. Shudder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue why anyone would choose a daycare over a good nanny. All those germs. Shudder.

Daycare is for poors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue why anyone would choose a daycare over a good nanny. All those germs. Shudder.

Lol, my one year old has snuck Cheerios off the floor of the plane faster than I can stop him. Now that we’re on baby 2 I have given up. I admit the HFM and random stomach bugs are disgusting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare

Socialization, *oversight* (even with nanny cams, it's an issue), connection with other families, and special events (sing a longs, holiday parties, carnivals, etc.)

A 3-year-old needs peer socialization, a 4-month-old doesn't. OP could get a nanny then switch to preschool around 3 and it would be the best of both worlds.

Babies do like looking at each other and toddlers definitely benefit from guided socialization. My 2.5 year old can tell her friends when she needs "space" or when she wants to play with a toy. The issues arise when we are at a playground with some poorly socialized kids who don't know how to communicate directly with other kids or rely on their caregivers to communicate for them.

This is simply my experience with a great daycare. People can choose what's best for them, but realize that your way isn't necessarily the best way.

[Anonymous]

Daycare. Nothing is better than more oversight. You never know with a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no clue why anyone would choose a daycare over a good nanny. All those germs. Shudder.

You're right, you are definitely clueless!