Baby boomers and their furniture

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid here: throwing out your junk was not hard. Stop whining.

Cleaning out my mom’s house was a nightmare. It was time-consuming, costly (plane tickets, childcare, haulers), and unpleasant. On top of that, it adds tremendously to landfills.

I'm with you on time-consuming but it was also a joy because I knew how much some of the items meant to my MIL. She was a child of the Holocaust and her family came here with nothing. Everything she had was collected lovingly, with joy and with an appreciation for its beauty. About 90% of what she had we were able to give away. Because we were renovating the house before reselling it, this meant that even the kitchen cupboards and countertops and all of the appliances etc were removed and donated to Habitat for the Humanity and other organizations. The other 10% was taken by her children and families.

It took a ton of time and we were greatly unprepared because her death was sudden and unexpected, and she was young. However, I will never begrudge her that she lived her life as she (and her husband, my FIL) wanted, and that they had things that brought pleasure to them. She was happy. That's all that matters to me.

I don't want to sound to preachy but I'm still gonna … you chose to send your mom's stuff to a landfill. That's on you.

DP, but also sent most to trash. I did everything to avoid sending it to a landfill. It literally pained me to think of contributing to the environmental disaster that we currently face. No one wanted it. ABSOLUTELY NOONE. Not a charity. Not neighbors. Not friends. I’d wager that my situation is more the norm than yours. It was an awful experience having to sort through all that stuff by myself. I had to leave my kids and husband, travel to where my parents lived, spend like weeks trying to even get a handle on it, and then spend all this time in my empty childhood home sorting stuff. It was so depressing.

[Anonymous]

It’s so interesting and telling that some posters are trying to shame others for not feeling attached to material possessions owned by their family members. I’m going to inherit three sets of China. We are in our 20s and have two sets of (passed down) silver already and will get more from my mom. And my MIL was miffed we didn’t put more on our wedding registry!! It’s bananas.

[Anonymous]

And at least with my MIL, she feels guilty about getting rid of stuff she doesn’t want so she tries to force it on us to outsource the guilt instead of dealing with it herself. We then donate sell or toss. I feel no guilt, life is too short to worry about crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think millennials are a lost generation.

Maybe, but the boomers are the worst generation.

I think they realized early on, they would never live up to the greatest generation that came before them, so they decided to destroy everything instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kid here: throwing out your junk was not hard. Stop whining.

Cleaning out my mom’s house was a nightmare. It was time-consuming, costly (plane tickets, childcare, haulers), and unpleasant. On top of that, it adds tremendously to landfills.

Ditto. And mine was nowhere near this. I vowed then and there that I will not do the same to my kids. Get rid of your own stuff people. And for those of you saying why does the son have to rub it in the Mother’s face - well, why doesn’t the mother respect the son’s directly stated wishes that he does not want more stuff?

Some really awful children on this post. I’m sure you are tiring down that inheritance check while whining about cleaning up after your parents. Of course they did nothing for you. You just grew up all on your own. Call a junk service. That shows the respect you have for your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so interesting and telling that some posters are trying to shame others for not feeling attached to material possessions owned by their family members. I’m going to inherit three sets of China. We are in our 20s and have two sets of (passed down) silver already and will get more from my mom. And my MIL was miffed we didn’t put more on our wedding registry!! It’s bananas.

You can find a trash can ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

It's not that we didn't love our grandparents. We don't have the space for it.

I would love some of my grandma's things or inherited furniture. Except all our grandparents are in their 80s/90. We're nearing 40 and our parents are 70. Our parents are the ones who will get everything and sell it for cash or toss it. I assume we'll be retired before we get any possessions from our parents. Inherited furniture/dishes only goes to children, not grandchildren or great grandchildren.

Doesn't "have" to be that way, your grandparents can invite everyone in and split it all up all at once. Or your parents can do that, once your grandparents die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

It's not that we didn't love our grandparents. We don't have the space for it.

I would love some of my grandma's things or inherited furniture. Except all our grandparents are in their 80s/90. We're nearing 40 and our parents are 70. Our parents are the ones who will get everything and sell it for cash or toss it. I assume we'll be retired before we get any possessions from our parents. Inherited furniture/dishes only goes to children, not grandchildren or great grandchildren.

How weird that this is so rigid. You must have a lot of people dying in your family if you have such rigid rules.

Why would your parents sell it instead of giving it to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

It's not that we didn't love our grandparents. We don't have the space for it.

I would love some of my grandma's things or inherited furniture. Except all our grandparents are in their 80s/90. We're nearing 40 and our parents are 70. Our parents are the ones who will get everything and sell it for cash or toss it. I assume we'll be retired before we get any possessions from our parents. Inherited furniture/dishes only goes to children, not grandchildren or great grandchildren.

How weird that this is so rigid. You must have a lot of people dying in your family if you have such rigid rules.

Why would your parents sell it instead of giving it to you?

My mom died recently and left her things to us children. We then brought in the grandkids, other family and close friends and divided things up. What we had left we donated to a couple needy families who needed extra furniture. We threw very little away. It was so hard because we loved her, but we took great care with her things that she loved. Some of you are so cold and heartless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so interesting and telling that some posters are trying to shame others for not feeling attached to material possessions owned by their family members. I’m going to inherit three sets of China. We are in our 20s and have two sets of (passed down) silver already and will get more from my mom. And my MIL was miffed we didn’t put more on our wedding registry!! It’s bananas.

I have four sets of China and 3 sets of silver. I love it, but I'm not sure if anyone will want it after I'm gone. I've started using one set of silver as my everyday cutlery. I just throw it in the dishwasher. It actually comes out great -- I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

+1 my daughter and daughter-in-law feel the same about furniture and china we've given them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God willing they have 20 more years on earth. Mind your own damn business and let them decorate how they please.

Yup. My parents house if filled with tacky stuff but it is their house.. they do what makes them happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think millennials are a lost generation.

Maybe, but the boomers are the worst generation.

I think they realized early on, they would never live up to the greatest generation that came before them, so they decided to destroy everything instead.

The generation that came before them was the Silent Generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

It's not that we didn't love our grandparents. We don't have the space for it.

I would love some of my grandma's things or inherited furniture. Except all our grandparents are in their 80s/90. We're nearing 40 and our parents are 70. Our parents are the ones who will get everything and sell it for cash or toss it. I assume we'll be retired before we get any possessions from our parents. Inherited furniture/dishes only goes to children, not grandchildren or great grandchildren.

How weird that this is so rigid. You must have a lot of people dying in your family if you have such rigid rules.

Why would your parents sell it instead of giving it to you?

My mom died recently and left her things to us children. We then brought in the grandkids, other family and close friends and divided things up. What we had left we donated to a couple needy families who needed extra furniture. We threw very little away. It was so hard because we loved her, but we took great care with her things that she loved. Some of you are so cold and heartless.

+1 my sisters and I did the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, I am the only one that likes the inherited furniture. I like that our kitchen table is being used by the 4th and 5th generation and the chairs too. I love the small table from my grandmother's because I reminds me of her... Both DH and I inherited furniture from grandparents an parents that we love. I love using my maternal grandmother's china- she died when my mother was 14. I I didn't realize I am an odd duck.

It's not that we didn't love our grandparents. We don't have the space for it.

I would love some of my grandma's things or inherited furniture. Except all our grandparents are in their 80s/90. We're nearing 40 and our parents are 70. Our parents are the ones who will get everything and sell it for cash or toss it. I assume we'll be retired before we get any possessions from our parents. Inherited furniture/dishes only goes to children, not grandchildren or great grandchildren.

How weird that this is so rigid. You must have a lot of people dying in your family if you have such rigid rules.

Why would your parents sell it instead of giving it to you?

My mom died recently and left her things to us children. We then brought in the grandkids, other family and close friends and divided things up. What we had left we donated to a couple needy families who needed extra furniture. We threw very little away. It was so hard because we loved her, but we took great care with her things that she loved. Some of you are so cold and heartless.

+1 my sisters and I did the same

+2 We did the same in our family when each of my Grandmothers died and we'll do it again when my mother passes. Each time it has been very special. Even the littlest grandchild participated and took away a treasure. We threw away almost nothing. What we didn't take with us was donated to local families in need - everything from furniture to pots and pans, even the contents of the freezers and pantries were donated. Honestly, it didn't really take much time at all and we're so glad we did it as we did. And now we treasure those items that we have because of the memories they give us.