Teen Boy Concerned About Height (lack of)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's pediatrician predicted his adult height to be 5'9" when he was 8 or 9. He is now 17, about to graduate high school, and he's 5'9" and hasn't grown for a while. He had his main growth spurt between 13.5 and 14 and was probably 5'4 when he started high school (right before turning 14). For most of 8th grade, he looked and sounded like he was 10 or 11.

Just because everyone has a husband, son, nephew, uncle, etc. who is over 6 feet doesn't mean that every male child will eventually get there if they just sleep a lot and drink milk. Being 5'7 is just as "normal" as being 6'2.

Actually, being 5'7" is more normal than being 6'2".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 5'6" woman married to a 5'7" man, it's annoying to see all these posters on how to "fix" your son. Sure, he should eat and sleep well but focusing on being comfortable in his own skin is way more important imo. One of my sons will likely be close to my DH's height. It is what it is. I admire how comfortable my husband is with this height and am hoping to see that in my son too.

Agree 100%. I have a son who was born with congenital scoliosis - not the type of scoliosis that most people are probably aware of. His is caused by a birth defect in his spine and ribs with malformed bones. Anyways, he's now an adult (18) and is only 5'3". I'm (mom) two inches taller than he is. His legs and arms are "normal" length, it's his trunk that is proportionally shorter. Because he was born with this defect, he's always been on the short side so he's had a lifetime to become comfortable with his body. Everyone has something they don't like about their body that we can't change. I know he still gets upset occasionally but we remind him that he's otherwise healthy and we've taught him to be good to the body he was given - healthy lifestyle so he can lead an active and hopefully, long life.

[Anonymous]

5'8.5" dad here. Height advantage in men is as real as looks and body in female, let's not kid ourselves. If you don't agree with this then you're either not aware of your privileges or have an agenda.

I have two boys, and their final height has always been a concern of mine. My 15-yo is now approaching 5'10 so I can finally relax; my 13-yo is 5'6"+ but doesn't have the long limbs and fingers and toes like his older brother, so I still worry about him.

Be realistic, moms, and do all the right things for your sons do at least you know you're doing your part. There's only one Tom cruise/RDJr/Napoleon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But the truth is that this kid does not have the genetic to be tall.

Not necessarily. I'm 5'1" and DH is 6', my 22 year old is 5'11", my 19 year old is 6', and my 15 year old is 5'10".

OP, I haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if someone else has suggested this, but they can do a simple "bone age" test to get a sense of where he is in his growth. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/xray-bone-age.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But the truth is that this kid does not have the genetic to be tall.

Not necessarily. I'm 5'1" and DH is 6', my 22 year old is 5'11", my 19 year old is 6', and my 15 year old is 5'10".

OP, I haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if someone else has suggested this, but they can do a simple "bone age" test to get a sense of where he is in his growth. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/xray-bone-age.html

And, just to add, the 22 year old and 15 year old both have had Crohn's for nearly 10 years, so we've been monitoring their growth closely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5'8.5" dad here. Height advantage in men is as real as looks and body in female, let's not kid ourselves. If you don't agree with this then you're either not aware of your privileges or have an agenda.

I have two boys, and their final height has always been a concern of mine. My 15-yo is now approaching 5'10 so I can finally relax; my 13-yo is 5'6"+ but doesn't have the long limbs and fingers and toes like his older brother, so I still worry about him.

Be realistic, moms, and do all the right things for your sons do at least you know you're doing your part. There's only one Tom cruise/RDJr/Napoleon.

Thank you for your honesty. Somehow a lot of the 5’1” and under moms don’t want to accept this and will insist there’s no difference although they themselves married 6’ and up men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5'8.5" dad here. Height advantage in men is as real as looks and body in female, let's not kid ourselves. If you don't agree with this then you're either not aware of your privileges or have an agenda.

I have two boys, and their final height has always been a concern of mine. My 15-yo is now approaching 5'10 so I can finally relax; my 13-yo is 5'6"+ but doesn't have the long limbs and fingers and toes like his older brother, so I still worry about him.

Be realistic, moms, and do all the right things for your sons do at least you know you're doing your part. There's only one Tom cruise/RDJr/Napoleon.

Yes, but the point is that plenty of shorter men eventually get married, too. You are a perfect example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5'8.5" dad here. Height advantage in men is as real as looks and body in female, let's not kid ourselves. If you don't agree with this then you're either not aware of your privileges or have an agenda.

I have two boys, and their final height has always been a concern of mine. My 15-yo is now approaching 5'10 so I can finally relax; my 13-yo is 5'6"+ but doesn't have the long limbs and fingers and toes like his older brother, so I still worry about him.

Be realistic, moms, and do all the right things for your sons do at least you know you're doing your part. There's only one Tom cruise/RDJr/Napoleon.

Thank you for your honesty. Somehow a lot of the 5’1” and under moms don’t want to accept this and will insist there’s no difference although they themselves married 6’ and up men.

I'm a PP and one of those women. I didn't set out to marry a man who is 6'3" (I am barely 5'). I have dated shorter men (5'7 to 5'10) and didn't want to date anyone over 6'. But, it just so happens, that I ended marrying such a man. You can't always control who you fall in love and are compatible with.

I will be happy if my short DS reaches 5'10.

[Anonymous]

My friend just found out, after about 20 (!!) years, that both sets of deceased grandparents on her DH’s side, as well as the deceased FIL, were about 5 feet tall and under. SIL’s tried to cover up by saying MIL shrank an entire twelve (!!!) inches, which is highly, highly unlikely.

My friend thought it pretty dishonest of her DH’s family to actively hide such an important fact. While it is not life or death, it is information my friend should have had a long time ago. You can say “why?” or whatever, but you would want to know too, whether or not you would admit it.

[Anonymous]

I still remember being measured for physical Ed at the beginning of my freshman year and I was five foot and one half inch. When I finished high school I was just short of five eight. I’m the shortest of my five brothers and the most successful professionally. I also have a nice wife and kids.

Get a grip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend just found out, after about 20 (!!) years, that both sets of deceased grandparents on her DH’s side, as well as the deceased FIL, were about 5 feet tall and under. SIL’s tried to cover up by saying MIL shrank an entire twelve (!!!) inches, which is highly, highly unlikely.

My friend thought it pretty dishonest of her DH’s family to actively hide such an important fact. While it is not life or death, it is information my friend should have had a long time ago. You can say “why?” or whatever, but you would want to know too, whether or not you would admit it.

As long as it is not this situation, I wouldn't worry about it too much, OP. You can't control it.

[Anonymous]

Actually tall men and slender women do earn more. It has an impact. It isn't you destiny but life is more difficult for short men and fat women.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/05/the-financial-perks-of-being-tall/393518/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still remember being measured for physical Ed at the beginning of my freshman year and I was five foot and one half inch. When I finished high school I was just short of five eight. I’m the shortest of my five brothers and the most successful professionally. I also have a nice wife and kids.

Get a grip

I don't think telling the kid to get a grip is a good idea. It's normal for all teens to be concerned or unhappy about themselves - unless you're a Justin Bieber or a Selena Gomez. The parents at the minimum should educate themselves on teenagers growth and to work with the ped to take action if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually tall men and slender women do earn more. It has an impact. It isn't you destiny but life is more difficult for short men and fat women.

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2015/05/the-financial-perks-of-being-tall/393518/

Uh-huh. And kids born into rich families earn more than kids born into poor families. Pretty people earn more than ugly people. And so on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5'8.5" dad here. Height advantage in men is as real as looks and body in female, let's not kid ourselves. If you don't agree with this then you're either not aware of your privileges or have an agenda.

I have two boys, and their final height has always been a concern of mine. My 15-yo is now approaching 5'10 so I can finally relax; my 13-yo is 5'6"+ but doesn't have the long limbs and fingers and toes like his older brother, so I still worry about him.

Be realistic, moms, and do all the right things for your sons do at least you know you're doing your part. There's only one Tom cruise/RDJr/Napoleon.

DP you may be right that there is a height bias in men but there are a ton of short and successful actors out there ( and other people too but we don't know them) Just look at Broadway and the Hamilton cast. If I had a short son ( I have only daughters) I would try to get him to love himself and that will give him confidence. My brother is very successful and he is only 5'8" . I know two guys also very successful and one is only 5'5". Sure we all want to be taller, thinner and more handsome/beautiful but, you have to take life as you get it and be grateful for what you have.