You can do both if you can afford it. Its one thing if you cannot not, but to be able to and refuse is selfish. My parents paid for college, graduate school, a car in graduate (cheaper new shared cost with grandparents) and helped with a downpayment for a house. We could choose any school we wanted or could get in. |
They want to feel generous without being. They were probably smart and got the houses when they were cheap so its not as big of a "gift" as they make it. If they have a high income, they should let their kids go to the best schools they can get into and pay for graduate school. They cannot die with all that money. |
Your parents were generous. The cost of college is vastly different now relative to HHI than it was 30 years ago. |
I'm not PP, but I do have a DC who is a college student and a second who will start college this year. We have a budget, and they have to adhere to it. That is completely rational. What is irrational is giving a 17 year old complete control of a decision the cost of which is the same as what you would pay for a house in many parts of the country. That is nuts. |
| All the posts are about VA schools. UVA is a very good school. Would you make your kid go to UMD if they got into Michigan, Tufts, Wake Forest, Carnegie Mellon or other top 30 schools? I think that where you go to college stays with you the rest of your life. Every time you give a presentation and you’re introduced your education is usually mentioned. Throughout your life probably thousands of people will ask you. Whether we like it or not, people make judgements about you based on this, whether it’s a potential employer or love interest. |
No, it wasn't and that poster was clear that they were wealthy. When I was young, my parents drove cars given by my grandparent or cheap cars literally till they died. We rarely went on vacation. They went to Europe a few times without/we went to grandparents and that was it. They lived very modestly and way under their means. My sister went to Ivy's and they were $50k+ a year, and medial school and I went to privates as well. Some publics are cheaper than the privates were back then. Life is about choices. My mom gave me some of my grandparents money for the inheritance (it was self-serving to make her look good vs. letting us inherit directly). School costs have gone up but so have incomes, not at the same rate. We do the same. We heavily save, living in an small house, older cars and few vacations. It can be done. Why have kids if you aren't going to set them up well in life if you can afford to? |
If you are not a "high earner" as PP bragged, then yes, a state school fully paid for is very generous and a good choice but to be high earner and would prefer a grand house, fancy vacations, housekeeper, yard service, nannies, then it is a bit selfish and strange. |
I'm a female executive at an IT company and I speak all the time at conferences and events in the DC area. I'm never ever introduced and my college mentioned. Never. I went to UMASS and people cannjufge away. I think your statement is about your own insecurity, not the reality. Nobody cares about your degree beyond your first and maybe, just maybe second job. I run an organization of 1500 people and nobody is impressed of you went to Tufts. When I review a linked in profile, I rarely scroll to the bottom. I don't care when you did in 2004, let alone where you graduated from in 1998. |
Lol where are you getting this? Do you think high earners don't want to waste money in order to waste money? People with money have money for a reason. |
Yes, I would and am doing that very thing this year. My MCPS senior RMIB kid has perfect SATs and a 4.83 weighted GPA. Elite schools are not on her list because we cannot pay for them. It’s in state public or private with merit for her. Her success is about her, not about the brand name of her college. |
The cost of higher education has gone up at a much higher rate than incomes, far outpacing inflation. Your parents’ choices are not a how to manual for everyone else, no matter a person’s affluence or circumstances. |
LOL, and therefore you know best how they should use their money? |
| We save a lot for college. My 4 year old had $100k in her 529. Older kids have more. I do not went money to be the limiting factor when it comes to choosing a school. |
No, its good parenting to put your kids needs first and give them the best education you can. College has been costly since most of us went. My parents were paying $40-60K a year and that was over 20 years ago. Incomes have also gone up too. I don't get the high income brag as it doesn't benefit your kids if you are only willing to do the bare minimum for them. The point of having a high income and kids is to give them the best start to life you can. If you choose not to and could afford it, then don't grumble about costs as that is not relevant. |
The difference is you cannot afford them and that is ok. The point is about posters who can afford them and choose not to. If you could afford it you'd probably feel differently. |