Anybody's teens have experience with Young Life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young Life has been around for decades. It is generally upbeat and not especially cult-like; most of the kids who attend in high school move on and don’t have any ongoing connection to YL. They have some nice camps, including a beautiful facility in Saranac Lake. I went to YL in high school decades ago and recall being asked to join a more intense weekly Bible study group in my senior year, after I’d been going to YL two years. I wasn’t up for that, and declined, and then just stopped going to the weekly meetings, which were mostly social sing-alongs, altogether. One of the youth leaders made one attempt to get me to return, but left me alone when I said I had too much on my plate.

My recollection is that the types of kids who got involved in YL varied a lot from school to school. At some area schools it was mostly band/theatre kids, while at others there were a lot more athletes/cheerleaders. That was probably a reflection of its decentralized structure.

I grew up in the 80s and this was my experience as well. YL was a huge, fun group of kids from all the local high schools and I think we met once every two weeks or so. Meetings consisted of hilarious skits, singing, jokes, corny/goofy fun, and yes, some praying. I found it to be an incredibly positive influence on my high school years. I had to laugh at one of the PP's characterization of it being "cultish." No, not at all. It's just a great group of perfectly normal kids from all different cliques/groups, which makes it a great way to meet kids you wouldn't otherwise know or hang out with. We took several weekend retreats which were a blast. I went on the summer trip to Saranac, and it truly was "the best week of my life." None of my close friends at the time were going, but I decided to take a chance and just go - and I wound up meeting new kids and just having the most unbelievable time. I'm 50 yrs. old and still remember that week.

I would say it's 80% having fun and about 20% talking about Christ. Not evangelical at all, but yes - Christian. A very welcoming atmosphere for anyone.

My daughter is a freshman and her older siblings were involved in YL - she's eager to start too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I know is that their Malibu camp location in British Columbia is in one of the most beautiful places in the world. If your kid is going to do a camp, send them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I know is that their Malibu camp location in British Columbia is in one of the most beautiful places in the world. If your kid is going to do a camp, send them there.

Oh, wow - I just looked that up. I would absolutely love to send my child there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was stalked and pressured in high school by Young Life and later in college by Navigators. They really were a love bomb cultish thing and I encourage kids to stay clear unless they already come from an evangelical family- making this type of thing something more akin to their culture.

These groups do recruit

Oh, please. You obviously don't know anything about Young Life. They don't "recruit" anyone - all are welcome. And it's not a "love bomb cult." Nice try, trying to scare people off from something completely benign and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They seem to be nice enough and some have fun, but in the end, they belong to the strand of born again christianity that thinks that born-again kids should only have friends from within their community.

I want to be openminded about it, but I would be very scared my kid would wind up comfortable in a community that I think is doing a lot of harm.

All of the above is patently false. There is nothing "born again" about YL. It's simply a non-denominational Christian youth group with fantastic young adult leaders and great retreats. There are no downsides to Young Life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest (now in college) was in YL. It was a wonderful community of kids that were (and still are) very tight. Great social circle with absolute no pressure to drink or do drugs. We have a pool and basement with ping pong/pool table so we hosted these kids all the time. It was great for my daughter to be part of a healthy group of kids who focused on grades and positive peer pressure.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm probably younger than most of you and was in YL during the current century For the record:

- I did not grow up in a church
- I did not want to drink, do drugs or be sexually active in HS
-YL gave me a group of friends with similar values and it was a great safe place to NOT have to fit in with the fast crowd.
-my experience was positive and kept me out of trouble and never put me in a situation that I was uncomfortable in.
- The YL kids in my high school were definitely the "good kids" who were never in trouble.

I'm very grateful that YL allowed me a safe social setting to be a kid and not feel pressured to do grown up things.

I agree and am happy that my kids are having similar experiences in YL that I had during the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We wouldn't let our kids go into YL. Google YL. Where there is smoke there is fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in my late 20s and was involved in YL in high school (graduated in 2008) so maybe more recently involved than some of you?

I grew up in Delaware and went to a high school similar to Wilson - very diverse. I was an athlete and honor roll student.

Most of the popular kids/athletes were involved in YL. We definitely still drank on weekends, beach week, etc. YL gatherings included anyone who wanted to join, freshman through seniors. Usually our meetings were sing-alongs, funny skits, hang outs. Maybe a prayer at the end but nothing preachy.

I went to YL camp over the summer. IT WAS AMAZING! Bike riding, skits, music, team building, the "blob", rock climbing, rope swings, and other teens from all over the east coast.

The leaders build you up by being so fun and approachable and make you feel included and then hit you towards the end of the week by telling you to give yourself to Jesus. I specifically remember them using the analogy that god has a file cabinet on everyone and everything you have ever said, thought, spoken, whatever, was known to him. Ask for forgiveness and he will erase all of the bad things you have ever done. It felt culty to me.

They told us to find a spot on camp grounds where you can be alone and commit yourself to Jesus. It felt culty to me.

I stopped going after that.

I was raised a Catholic, I'm atheist now.

I was totally with you until you got to the "file cabinet" paragraph. I never, ever experienced this, and I attended multiple YL camps. The religious aspect was always very low-key - praying at the end of the evening, but never any pressure to "give yourself to Jesus."

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP....there are quite a lot of posts here saying how chill and relaxed the Young Life chapters are, but I see yellow flags. There may be some really open ones, but the ones your daughter's friends are in sounds more intense and recruitment-focused.
This kind of thing doesn't sound like it's what you want for your daughter, since you mentioned a liberal Protestant denomination and it sounds like you want her to have an openness to people of all religions.
It sounds like her friends have moved very fast with this group and are trying to sell her on it as well. But there is no reason she needs to join Young Life to continue hanging out with these girls, correct? Or does all the socializing for YL members have to be done in the context of YL meetings, camps, etc? Can her friends still do activities with her which would naturally be nice and wholesome, just not centered around a religious organization?
I had some friends who did Campus Crusade for Christ in college. I really liked these friends but their Bible Study and CCC activities were not for me, so I never attended. I was able to still hang out with these friends, but that was college, a big university where we had our own lives; and these CCC friends were being challenged with new ideas and had to learn to set boundaries between wanting to enjoy the company of others like me, without recruiting. I am not sure the high school equivalent would be as tolerant.

I am concerned that a lot of evangelical denominations focus on an 'us vs them' attitude...people like to be one of the 'us', to belong, because it's so social and everyone creates a sense of community based on their common beliefs. But this is also dangerous. It allows people to live in a bubble and not address the realities of life that may impact other people; that is, people form opinions and world views based on their church's doctrine without encountering people who think differently. This can really lead people to have --after a while--more narrow views and in today's world we really do not need more people with narrow views.
I had a good friend from HS who got increasingly more devout christian when she went to a Southern college and later married a guy from her church. She became increasingly more resentful of my liberal intellectual life, even though I was socially VERY conservative still.
So, I cannot tell if that is the same attitude that your daughter's friends have or will be getting to have. I would hold off on letting her join and encourage her to spend lots of time with these friends away from the official YL group and with a couple of other friends in the mix too. If it is actually a fun and non-recruitment-focused local chapter, you will figure that out soon enough, and it would not be too late for her to join.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m now a med student who isn’t really religious but it really helped put into perspective different life experiences. I also echo the protective factor- I never really drank all through college and married young to a wonderful man as a virgin. At clinics now when I see the extent of STIs I’m sooo happy I was involved in these groups as a teenager. I don’t fully agree with purity messaging but hey, I’m not upset with how that worked out for me.

The irony here is rich... different life experiences and then associating being in a religious group with staying STI free.

Grew up an atheist teen. Didn't have sex until nearly 19. STI free still in my mid 30s.

Being more religious is correlated with higher teen birth rates - and it isn't the outcome of them just having less abortions. Religious kids are still being reckless kids... They just don't use protection when they do it.

https://reproductive-health-journal.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1742-4755-6-14

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you all for your thoughtful input. It has really helped me. Here is an update:

I've allowed DD to participate in the once-weekly YL club meetings and some special events (coffeehouse, girls-only sleepovers). It does seem like it is pretty chill and a fun social time for the kids who go, and also well attended. They've had movie nights and a Halloween party and seem to mostly hang out and play games or eat. We are in a large regional SD in a somewhat rural area, and I like that she is meeting kids from different walks of life and attending social events where there is no alcohol/drugs. I am not allowing the more intensive involvement that her 3 friends are doing, although she has not asked for such. She is asking to go on a winter ski weekend at a YL facility in upstate NY and I will probably let her go. The local group seems pretty female-heavy and the leaders she deals with are young women. They get together with counterparts from adjacent SDs at times for larger events.

Everything seems pretty good so far, other than I don't like that the club group meeting typically starts out at someone's house and then migrates to a pizza place a few miles away, which means we have groups of kids driving around rural back roads at night; I told her she is to ride only with the leaders. I also don't like that there is zero communication to the parents - I am NOT a helicopter mom but literally anything else my kids have ever done obtains the parents' contact info just to keep them updated on what's going on, events coming up, etc. All the communication seems to be group texts among the leaders and kids, and the parents are out of the loop. I was a leader in a church HS/MS youth group in the mid-'90s and even back then we sent periodic emails to the parents. An introductory "hi, I'm Larla Leader, here's what we are doing this year" would go a long way in making me feel more comfortable about what to expect.

Based on what you all have said, it sounds like the YL experience can be highly variable based on who leads it and where it is and who participates, and it seems like the club is generally a fun social opportunity and good fellowship, while camp is a spectacular experience that may or may not involve intense religious content. I'm still not sure I understand what they are after with these kids overall...again, I am an inherent skeptic so I'm thinking nobody is going to provide this fun outlet for our kids without wanting something in return. DD and I have had many conversations about what we believe, and the fact that not all Christians live their faith the same way, that we need to be accepting of others' faith traditions, and that she should not tolerate anyone not accepting ours, or telling her she needs to accept Christ as her savior (because in our denomination, she already did when she was baptized). For now I'm going to let her participate in the club and fun events, trust that this is primarily about having a good time with peers in a safe environment, try to meet the folks involved, and keep the lines of communication open. Since her plan is to get a summer job next year, she will not be attending YL camp even if all her friends want to go.

In response to the "yellow flags" PP's question - yes, I had CCC friends in college as well, this was where I first encountered people trying to evangelize me! The 3 friends who are getting deeply involved are DD's BFFs in a friend group going back to late-elementary school. They spend a lot of time together outside the group. They have other friends, although these are more fluid and evolving. These girls are all very cute, bubbly, good students; two are very outgoing and have been on the cheer squad, so they make perfect recruiter types. The one girl she is closest to is the one who first got involved in the group, got recruited by someone from her school sports team. This girl is part of a more conservative church (signed a purity pledge last year), and her mom, who I am pretty close to, thinks YL is awesome and is a big proponent. My DD is more shy and not really the sales type so I don't think she would be comfortable in an outreach role. I'm trying to encourage DD to hang with her besties but also branch out to other people and to be part of other activities. She will be playing sports in the spring and that may preclude YL and other extracurriculars.

[Anonymous]

At a couple of my companies, I've worked with a number of young adults (20's) who were involved in Young Life as teens. They are some of the nicest, most well-adjusted, kind, positive, giving people I know. Just good people.
My kids are still young, but I will encourage them to check it out when they are teens. I'm in the Midwest fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At a couple of my companies, I've worked with a number of young adults (20's) who were involved in Young Life as teens. They are some of the nicest, most well-adjusted, kind, positive, giving people I know. Just good people.
My kids are still young, but I will encourage them to check it out when they are teens. I'm in the Midwest fwiw.

OP again - thank you, this is reassuring. I've lived in the Midwest and my current area in PA reminds me of my time out there. Lots of farms, slower pace of life, people hunt and fish. Big change from the DMV where we lived for several years and the NYC burbs where I grew up.

For the PP who is a YL leader in Frederick, thank you for chiming in; we are in southeastern PA and I was able to find the leader info. Question for you - when you have kids who are already Christians and learned about Jesus in their own churches, what is the goal for them in being part of the group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest (now in college) was in YL. It was a wonderful community of kids that were (and still are) very tight. Great social circle with absolute no pressure to drink or do drugs. We have a pool and basement with ping pong/pool table so we hosted these kids all the time. It was great for my daughter to be part of a healthy group of kids who focused on grades and positive peer pressure.

THIS x100.