Help us cut our food/dining expenses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think one of your challenges here is that you are trying to "solve" what is actually a non-problem in your life. You don't seem to be in any financial dire straits, so you don't have strong incentive to make changes that are difficult to rein in your spending.

So, other than a feeling that it is immature not to, what's really driving this? Do you simply dislike how much take-out you eat? Are you concerned about the food you're eating being unhealthy? Are you concerned that you are not adequately teaching your kid to cook? Figuring out what is really the problem *for you*, not what others think might be a problem, will help you solve this.

Personally, DH and I were in a situation like yours pre-kids where we were doing a lot of take out. The cost was not an issue, but I decided I didn't like that the food was so unhealthy and the amount of waste we were generating. So he and I figured out several super easy (like practically just heat up frozen foods) meals that we could easily have on hand. These meals were all probably less healthy than what we would cook from scratch, but they were healthier than what we would order as take-out (and definitely much less waste). They were, unsurprisingly, also cheaper.

So my advice would be to not focus on the money but focus on other things. How many meals a week do you prepare at home? How many are take out? How many are in a restaurant? Once you figure that out, make the changes you need to get yourself consistent with where you want to be...and I strongly suspect you'll be spending less as well (or at least more consciously).

Lots to think about here.

Financially, we are comfortable, but I am anxious about our lack of an emergency fund. It seems silly to live on the edge while frittering away our savings each month. Plus spending so much on convenience is inconsistent with our values in other areas of our lives. My issue with meal planning has deep roots. I had serious control issues with food decades ago and haven’t fully recovered. I guess I’m afraid that if I go down this road, former compulsions will resurface. But it’s time to move on, teach my kid to find joy in cooking and planning, and find balance myself. I guess I’m hoping that changing my spending and habits will bring other areas of my life in line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update: it’s been almost one week and DH and I have packed our lunches every day and made dinner at home. I decided to dust off my Whole30 cookbook, mostly for the meal planning and healthy recipes. DH helps with planning and cooking. It’s been going well. It’s still pretty expensive because of all the meat we are cooking, but cheaper than the meal planning services I researched. I get a little panicked on busy nights and mornings when I don’t have time to prep. And I’m bored already - salmon again - but that’s my issue with resenting the plan and feeling trapped. But I’ll get over it and hopefully save some money. I’m sure there are better ways to do this, and I greatly appreciate the tips of healthy quick eats. I will try my best to stick with the plan and will report back in a month with my results in case that’s helpful to others in the same boat.

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I think it's unrealistic to go from 100 to 0.. Allow yourself 2x a week to eat lunch out or takeout. That why you won't feel so trapped and allow for some freedom. Also, I agree with others.. give a meal planning service a try. I like Hello Fresh or Home Chef.

[Anonymous]

OP - can you make smaller changes, will that make you feel better? If you're spending $2k on food, takeout, etc, per month now, can you put $150 or $200 of that into a savings account and give yourself $1800 to eat with for a start?

$1800 seems like it should still get you a month's worth of nice things to eat - then maybe you can cut a little more, if it seems possible to do without making your monthly eating less pleasurable.

Also keep in mind that takeout and restaurant meals may be giving you more than just food in your belly. In our family, we spend way too much on takeout - but my husband and I have very different food preferences. So cooking one meal we will both enjoy is a real pain in the ass (we eat eggs, and spaghetti - and a little fish - and outside of that we just don't want the same things). Getting takeout a couple of times a week saves us having to compromise, or be hungry, or waste money on cooked food that one or the other of us won't want. It pains me to see the $$ leave our account, but I am also grateful that we both get to enjoy our food - and not have to fight.

[Anonymous]

Op here: It's the end of the month and I thought I'd share an update for those who are similarly struggling with spending. We set out to shave $300 from our food/dining expenses this month and we made it!

The bad news is that my initial analysis of our past spending was optimistic; we averaged $2,200/month over the past 12 months, not the $2,000 I'd thought. Ouch! That was an unpleasant discovery. But this month we spent $1,900! I think we can still do better, but this was a great first step. Here is a comparison of our spending:

12-month versus last month
Groceries: 44% versus 62%
Restaurants/Carry Out: 27% versus 16%
Lunch/Coffee: 16% versus 9%
Alcohol/Bars: 13% versus 12%

PPs who recommended meal planning were right on target. We used Whole30 as a rough outline, packing the previous night's leftovers for lunch the next day. Not the cheapest meal plan but it worked for us. We went out to dinner a couple times for special occasions (anniversary, birthday) and ordered carry out once when unexpected guests arrived. My husband forgot his lunch a handful of times and bought lunch at work. But mostly we kept to our program. We ate like royalty (lots of protein and fresh vegetables) and had fun with new recipes. It was exhausting and a little stressful making such a radical change, but we are getting the hang of it. Our grocery bills were higher than they could be, but we prioritize organic meats and dairy, so that's a compromise.

Next month's alcohol/bars should be less because I cut way back on my nightly wine mid-month and love the way I feel. I'm planning to keep that going. We are planning Meatless Mondays, and a couple really quick frozen dinners for activity nights when we get home late. I think we if we can cut another $100/month from the budget, I will feel really good about our progress and more balanced about our spending. Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Diversify your cooking. You say salmon is boring but there are so many flavors to choose from. It's about being creative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think one of your challenges here is that you are trying to "solve" what is actually a non-problem in your life. You don't seem to be in any financial dire straits, so you don't have strong incentive to make changes that are difficult to rein in your spending.

So, other than a feeling that it is immature not to, what's really driving this? Do you simply dislike how much take-out you eat? Are you concerned about the food you're eating being unhealthy? Are you concerned that you are not adequately teaching your kid to cook? Figuring out what is really the problem *for you*, not what others think might be a problem, will help you solve this.

Personally, DH and I were in a situation like yours pre-kids where we were doing a lot of take out. The cost was not an issue, but I decided I didn't like that the food was so unhealthy and the amount of waste we were generating. So he and I figured out several super easy (like practically just heat up frozen foods) meals that we could easily have on hand. These meals were all probably less healthy than what we would cook from scratch, but they were healthier than what we would order as take-out (and definitely much less waste). They were, unsurprisingly, also cheaper.

So my advice would be to not focus on the money but focus on other things. How many meals a week do you prepare at home? How many are take out? How many are in a restaurant? Once you figure that out, make the changes you need to get yourself consistent with where you want to be...and I strongly suspect you'll be spending less as well (or at least more consciously).

Lots to think about here.

Financially, we are comfortable, but I am anxious about our lack of an emergency fund. It seems silly to live on the edge while frittering away our savings each month. Plus spending so much on convenience is inconsistent with our values in other areas of our lives. My issue with meal planning has deep roots. I had serious control issues with food decades ago and haven’t fully recovered. I guess I’m afraid that if I go down this road, former compulsions will resurface. But it’s time to move on, teach my kid to find joy in cooking and planning, and find balance myself. I guess I’m hoping that changing my spending and habits will bring other areas of my life in line.

Hi OP - In a similar position here. Slightly lower HHI, no kids - spend a lot on takeout and eating out, not enough of an emergency fund. So, yeah, I relate!

I know DCUM folks are ruthless savers. And they get a lot of stability from that. I would say that you should also consider the psychological benefits of letting yourself enjoy the takeout and restaurant meals.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/27/science/study-happy-save-money-time.html

Chances are that you and your spouse work hard, are busy with your child, and are mentally and physically wiped out. If getting takeout eases your burden, I would say that this is one of those things that you don't really need to fight.

If you'd LIKE to cook more, then go ahead. And by all means examine your budget for easily cut flab. But don't make yourself crazy over this. You have a lot going on, and a very healthy HHI!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here: It's the end of the month and I thought I'd share an update for those who are similarly struggling with spending. We set out to shave $300 from our food/dining expenses this month and we made it!

The bad news is that my initial analysis of our past spending was optimistic; we averaged $2,200/month over the past 12 months, not the $2,000 I'd thought. Ouch! That was an unpleasant discovery. But this month we spent $1,900! I think we can still do better, but this was a great first step. Here is a comparison of our spending:

12-month versus last month
Groceries: 44% versus 62%
Restaurants/Carry Out: 27% versus 16%
Lunch/Coffee: 16% versus 9%
Alcohol/Bars: 13% versus 12%

PPs who recommended meal planning were right on target. We used Whole30 as a rough outline, packing the previous night's leftovers for lunch the next day. Not the cheapest meal plan but it worked for us. We went out to dinner a couple times for special occasions (anniversary, birthday) and ordered carry out once when unexpected guests arrived. My husband forgot his lunch a handful of times and bought lunch at work. But mostly we kept to our program. We ate like royalty (lots of protein and fresh vegetables) and had fun with new recipes. It was exhausting and a little stressful making such a radical change, but we are getting the hang of it. Our grocery bills were higher than they could be, but we prioritize organic meats and dairy, so that's a compromise.

Next month's alcohol/bars should be less because I cut way back on my nightly wine mid-month and love the way I feel. I'm planning to keep that going. We are planning Meatless Mondays, and a couple really quick frozen dinners for activity nights when we get home late. I think we if we can cut another $100/month from the budget, I will feel really good about our progress and more balanced about our spending. Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

Consider trying out the Fresh20 meal plan. I think you can get a free sample on their website. It's a weekly shopping list, prep guide, and 5 recipes for 4 people. They are usually pretty good tasting, healthy, and quick to put together if you do the recommended prep ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s been helpful for me to remember that convenience food at a grocery store is still way cheaper than carry out. I used to buy “ambitious” dinner ingredients at the store (beans that needed soaking, vegetables to chop for sauces, and not easy things like premade tortellini or soups or premade salmon burgers. But those things can be a lifesaver on a weeknight and even though they’re a splurge for the store they are a lot cheaper than ordering out.

Ha ha. Hi, me!

[Anonymous]

We set a limit on eating out/getting take out. I order take out on Friday night (usually pizza). We have lunch out on Saturday and maybe Sunday but not all Sundays (we might just make a sandwich). Otherwise, we eat at home all week.

If you're doing your own grocery shopping, read the circulars that come in the mail (if you get them) for this week's deals. Sign up for online savings programs at the places you shop (you'll get some really good coupons). Look at fast casual restaurant websites for coupons, too.

Get in the habit of grocery shopping only once a week for the coming week. This way, you keep track of your spending. Think about how you can turn one weeknight dinner into two (grilled steak on Sunday night becomes steak fajitas on Monday night using the leftovers, etc.).

Don't buy new food until you have used up most of what you have already bought.