Surviving a triple

[Anonymous]

I just stayed in an urban dorm room that was a quad. So be grateful it’s not that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to imagine my parents being worried about this and trying to get pointers from other parents. Luckily, they did not because I was a pretty functioning person. Back off, OP. The helicoptering needs to stop and this is s good place.

OP here- You people continue to be so mean and ridiculous. I appreciate those who gave some tips regarding the beds- I did not know about risers.
I reread my original post to see if it sounded ridiculous and helicoptery- that is nothing I’ve been accused of before.
My title was in jest- and I asked for tips. I didn’t ask for ways out of it or say my child wouldn’t be able to, or shouldn’t have to cope with it.
I just hadn’t had it come up when I sent children 1 and 2 to college so wondered for practical tips.
And PP, our parents did not worry about a lot of things- I was sent to college by plane with a trunk.
This has been a good lesson for me as to how internet conversation can go so wrong and anonymous people can be so mean.
I posted here because I was looking for info- I know enough not to be anything but confident it will all work out to my child. And it will. But if knowing to bring risers or noise cancelling headphones could make it better, that’s what I was looking for. Thank you to those who were helpful.

[Anonymous]

I would try to be as positive as possible about it. Don't assume that there will be trouble because it might work out just fine. Just because this is a new experience for your kid does not mean that it is destined to be a bad experience for your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to imagine my parents being worried about this and trying to get pointers from other parents. Luckily, they did not because I was a pretty functioning person. Back off, OP. The helicoptering needs to stop and this is s good place.

OP here- You people continue to be so mean and ridiculous. I appreciate those who gave some tips regarding the beds- I did not know about risers.
I reread my original post to see if it sounded ridiculous and helicoptery- that is nothing I’ve been accused of before.
My title was in jest- and I asked for tips. I didn’t ask for ways out of it or say my child wouldn’t be able to, or shouldn’t have to cope with it.
I just hadn’t had it come up when I sent children 1 and 2 to college so wondered for practical tips.
And PP, our parents did not worry about a lot of things- I was sent to college by plane with a trunk.
This has been a good lesson for me as to how internet conversation can go so wrong and anonymous people can be so mean.
I posted here because I was looking for info- I know enough not to be anything but confident it will all work out to my child. And it will. But if knowing to bring risers or noise cancelling headphones could make it better, that’s what I was looking for. Thank you to those who were helpful.

Hi OP - I'm not sure how this went off the rails. I thought you had a really reasonable question. I just wanted to mention that I've found College Confidential and Grown and Flown to be much more receptive and helpful to questions like these. But, it sounds like you did get some good answers. Good luck to you and your son!

[Anonymous]

Guys or girls?
Natural triple (room set up for 3) or forced triple (double room getting a third because of space crunch)?
Do any of them know each other?
Do they have compatible schedules? (One night owl typing away will be hell for the early riser with the 8am class!)

As with any living arrangement, the personalities of the kids are the biggest variable. Sometimes 6-8 kids live in complete harmony and sometimes 2 can’t make it work. Hopefully the roommates will all be respectful and open-minded about what needs to happen in the room. If its a forced triple then I think they need to agree no overnight guests (even friends from home coming to visit) simply for space reasons.

[Anonymous]

OP - do you know if this is a forced triple? UMD, UVA, Va Tech and GMU all are overenrolled so are forcing triples and quads. I would try to get out of those situations because they can be extremely uncomfortable in terms of space.

[Anonymous]

I had 6 people in my dorm freshman year at University at Buffalo. It was awesome. But after the first year I fought for off campus housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 6 people in my dorm freshman year at University at Buffalo. It was awesome. But after the first year I fought for off campus housing.

Did you have three sets of bunk beds? Or was there enough room for everyone to have their bed on the floors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to imagine my parents being worried about this and trying to get pointers from other parents. Luckily, they did not because I was a pretty functioning person. Back off, OP. The helicoptering needs to stop and this is s good place.

OP here- You people continue to be so mean and ridiculous. I appreciate those who gave some tips regarding the beds- I did not know about risers.
I reread my original post to see if it sounded ridiculous and helicoptery- that is nothing I’ve been accused of before.
My title was in jest- and I asked for tips. I didn’t ask for ways out of it or say my child wouldn’t be able to, or shouldn’t have to cope with it.
I just hadn’t had it come up when I sent children 1 and 2 to college so wondered for practical tips.
And PP, our parents did not worry about a lot of things- I was sent to college by plane with a trunk.
This has been a good lesson for me as to how internet conversation can go so wrong and anonymous people can be so mean.
I posted here because I was looking for info- I know enough not to be anything but confident it will all work out to my child. And it will. But if knowing to bring risers or noise cancelling headphones could make it better, that’s what I was looking for. Thank you to those who were helpful.

Well said, OP.

My kid and I communicate well and often, so like you, asking for input on a child's behalf doesn't mean helicoptering. It just means asking.

I can tell you this:the Bose headphones are better than any other brand and if you can afford it, totally worth every dime. I,m a grownup, and learned this in my cubicle.

[Anonymous]

If she is going to Columbia, a good escape from the chaos is either JTS library or UTS library. Undergrads don't usually go to those places and the chairs are comfy.

You said "urban". If it isn't, there may be a seminary near by her school. With a triple, the big need she won't get at home will be quiet solitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having two roommates just increases the likelihood that one is normal. My freshman roommate was sleeping with half of the football team, often in our room. My dd’s freshman roommate has a lot of mental health issues, doesn’t really ever leave the room and doesn’t go to bed before 2am. My sister’s freshman roommate is still her best friend 30 years later. This could be great, and if it isn’t, it’s not forever.

No it doubles your chances that you will have a problem. Seriously, triples are to be avoided. One kid is always on the out with the other two and chances are that kid will be yours. Seriously if your kid has an attention issue, talk to disability services and get them into a single or double.

+1

[Anonymous]

Welcome to life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to life.

Really? Because you continue to share a bedroom with two strangers for the rest of it? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Op still has not said if it is forced.

[Anonymous]

Put in for the first space that opens up. There are always kids who don't make it through the first month of freshman year. It's true that there will almost always be an odd man out in a group of three.