I’m worried DD got into too elite of a college

[Anonymous]

As others have said, it's not difficult do perform averagely at the Ivies and other top colleges, except perhaps a handful (Chicago, MIT, Swarthmore). Anyone who's capable of scoring 1300+ on the SATs and maintaining a 3.0 average at a good high school can perform just fine and dandy at these top colleges. Just be realistic about your major. As an double Ivy grad who was also a resident advisor, there's plenty of "normal" students at the Ivies.

Regarding post-college recruiting, the big banking and consulting firms did ask for your SAT scores (which I found odd at the time) and I got the impression that they favored higher SAT over a higher college GPA. Perhaps it's different now. Who knows.

[Anonymous]

I still wonder if I was a mistake acceptance to a top 25 university. I got out with a 3.2 or 3.3 and that was using the free tutoring programs and going to office hours and studying way more than my friends who could somehow drink 4 nights a week and still do well. I was surrounded by so many students who seemed smarter than me that my confidence was shot. I am the poster child of imposter syndrome. I wonder now if have undiagnosed ADD, which had always made it hard for me to study. At my public high school I did well, but at this private university I drowned.

If I could do it again (and still meet my dh, as we met in undergrad) then I would have considered my second acceptance. I would look at your child’s personality—if they can roll with the punches and pull themselves up when the chips are down, then send them to the harder school. If you think they could benefit with big fish/small pond for confidence—then make it about the money (not their intelligence) to encourage them not to attend.

[Anonymous]

My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Potential hook? URM is a massive hook and you should leverage it while you still can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

I had to laugh. None of them have a cut throat environment.

It really is what you make of it. It can be challenging, or it can be easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Potential hook? URM is a massive hook and you should leverage it while you still can.

Is it, really? I mean at schools like Yale, doesn't there also need to be some other amazing characteristic besides grades, scores and URM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Potential hook? URM is a massive hook and you should leverage it while you still can.

Is it, really? I mean at schools like Yale, doesn't there also need to be some other amazing characteristic besides grades, scores and URM?

You mean like playing the violin?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Potential hook? URM is a massive hook and you should leverage it while you still can.

Is it, really? I mean at schools like Yale, doesn't there also need to be some other amazing characteristic besides grades, scores and URM?

The kids who were URMs at my kids' large public with good grades and decent test scores (only one with a perfect ACT/SAT score that I'm aware of) all got into multiple HPYS and other top schools over the last couple years. Only one had really top ECs-- the rest were just normal smart kids. Your child can pretty much write his ticket, so in your shoes I'd really work with him on researching them. Agree with others that many top schools, including most ivies, are not cut-throat in the slightest. Some kids do find smaller schools to be a better fit though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Hi.

For the heck of it? Here's what hurts about trying: he has to write essays while at the same time trying hard to get his other applications done. He wastes people's time if he needs additional references just for Yale. For some of us, the cost isn't trivial (even if we don't qualify for fee waivers).

Why don't you pick an elite school that is actually a good fit?

Congrats on having such an accomplished child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Hi.

For the heck of it? Here's what hurts about trying: he has to write essays while at the same time trying hard to get his other applications done. He wastes people's time if he needs additional references just for Yale. For some of us, the cost isn't trivial (even if we don't qualify for fee waivers).

Why don't you pick an elite school that is actually a good fit?

Congrats on having such an accomplished child!

I am the poster with the "accomplished child." Perhaps "the heck of it" was not good language. DH wants him to apply even though it is not his first choice so that he can decide next year when the time comes if it is even an option. A lot of growth happens in senior year of high school and he may gain more confidence during that time. Yes, he will have to write more essays, but what's a few more?

Seriously, I had no idea we would even have a shot at this. Interesting comments on this thread...will need to reevaluate his list of schools...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD had an eclectic hook that I believe was read by the right person. Am I crazy for thinking this? What is life like at an elite for kids that were genuinely lucky to be admitted? Honestly, even her advisor at school didn’t believe her at first. This college is stretching us financially, so it’s not like we can afford hire her private tutors this fall.

OP, I was accepted to Harvard Law School and I believed that everyone there was brilliant and I was just a hard worker. Turns out while there are people there who were brilliant, there were many hard workers, many others with hooks, and a lot of people who were were smart but lacked common sense. There is room for everybody. I wish I had realized that before my 3rd year; I would have had much more confidence.

With respect to your DD, she'll probably be fine and rise to the occasion. If she doesn't, then she transfers. Fill her with confidence. Many people have hooks and connections. Not everyone can find the cure for cancer, solve some longstanding mathematical mystery, or fund a non-profit in 11th grade. (wink)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Son had 2.5 GPA in high school and was admitted into HYPS because my brother donated 2M to the school. Son graduated from college with C average but it really did not matter. He got a job through networking and now is at PWC consulting with 200K+ salary. College GPA means nothing. It is the connection that counts.

Your DD will do fine at those elite colleges. If she works hard and have 1-1 tutoring, she will graduate with an unbelievable job waiting for her. Is your DD going to be Marissa Mayer? Probably not but she will do well.

How long ago was this? I don't believe a nephew with a 2.5 would get into HYPS after a 2 million donation . . .

He would if a URM. This is what STanford is doing - it is taking legacy kids of URMs. So Stanford gets to check off the URM box, and keep a legacy family happy. Also happening at Stanford Law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Hi.

For the heck of it? Here's what hurts about trying: he has to write essays while at the same time trying hard to get his other applications done. He wastes people's time if he needs additional references just for Yale. For some of us, the cost isn't trivial (even if we don't qualify for fee waivers).

Why don't you pick an elite school that is actually a good fit?

Congrats on having such an accomplished child!

I am the poster with the "accomplished child." Perhaps "the heck of it" was not good language. DH wants him to apply even though it is not his first choice so that he can decide next year when the time comes if it is even an option. A lot of growth happens in senior year of high school and he may gain more confidence during that time. Yes, he will have to write more essays, but what's a few more?

Seriously, I had no idea we would even have a shot at this. Interesting comments on this thread...will need to reevaluate his list of schools...

Well that makes some sense. Yeah, don't rule it out if there is a shot and the kid likes it, but that still doesn't answer "why Yale?"

As for "what's a few more" - your kid will be seriously, seriously busy in the fall, especially if he's applying to a ton of private schools. Most likely he won't have time for everything so he'll have to decide how best to use his time. Something else important won't get done (like extra time on calculus, or on some research paper, or sleep) if the list of schools is too long. It is really, really stressful. Also, 1) you didn't think Yale was a good fit - so why Yale? 2) Unless you have buckets of money, I'd put some serious effort into the schools betweeen 20 and 50 with good reputations for merit aid. Grad school is expensive, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

I had to laugh. None of them have a cut throat environment.

It really is what you make of it. It can be challenging, or it can be easy.

My roommate at HYPS never wanted to talk with me about our identical problem sets if she finished hers before mine. She had no trouble calling her dad for help if she needed it, however. (He was a professor at a peer institution in our field.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is not applying to any ivies despite the fact he scored 36 on the ACT and has gotten mostly A's through high school. He says he doesn't want the "cut-throat" environment. Not sure where he is getting that impression, but my husband really would like him to apply to Yale just for the heck of it. We toured the school a few weeks ago, and he seemed impressed, so maybe he will. It can't hurt to try, and reading this thread alleviates my fears that it would not be a good fit for him if he were to get in. We are also URM, so that may be a potential hook.

Potential hook? URM is a massive hook and you should leverage it while you still can.

Is it, really? I mean at schools like Yale, doesn't there also need to be some other amazing characteristic besides grades, scores and URM?

You mean like playing the violin?

Try the harp. Everyone plays the violin. By the way, some of these top universities have wonderful organs in their chapels and need trained student organists, as well. I knew a student who could trace his organ teachers back to Bach.