If you choose a nickname for your child...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you introduce your child with a nickname, how does the person even know there is a formal name? (Aside from school personnel, drs).

The person doesn't know. The person assumes. I remember my English teacher in junior high school, whose first name was Peggy, saying that some people would always insist that her real first name must be Margaret. But it wasn't, it was Peggy.

It seems silly, to me, to assume that you know more about a person's name than the person does.

[Anonymous]

Once the kid goes to school, this is all moot. My kid has a name. We call her a certain nickname at home. No one at school calls her this nickname. She is referred to by her full name and two completely different nicknames by teachers and friends. She doesn't mind--if you call her a nickname she doesn't like, she'll say so, politely but firmly. It doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will call people by whatever name they introduce themselves by and it's not that difficult to remember which name to use unless you're a hard headed person who insists on doing things your own way. I will say I recommend against doing what my in laws did and call their kid by a nickname for her middle name (her full name is Lauren Elizabeth and she goes by a nickname for Elizabeth).

I had a friend in elementary school like this--her name was Joanna Kathleen and she went by Katie. And I have a boss who does this now--his name is George Samuel and he goes by Sam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I do this at work. If I can't remember if it's Bob or Rob, I'll call him Robert because it's better, in my eyes, than calling him by the wrong nickname. If Robert/Bob/Rob gets offended that I didn't remember his preferred nickname, then he seems like an easily offended type and, well, you can't please everyone.

My DD has a name with a lot of nickname options. We call her one, and friends, neighbors, and teachers all call her by a variety of different nicknames. If/when she expresses a preference, then we'll follow her lead. Her name, her choice. Name your kid Sarah or Emily if you don't want people giving her a nickname.

Emily will definitely get nicknamed. Sarah, maybe not.

First PP, that is bizarre. If you can't remember someone's preferred name, just avoid saying it until you can figure it out.

I worked in a small office with a Susan. She goes by Susan. Her friends and family call her Susan. She refers to herself as Susan (e.g., answering her phone, signing emails). Our male boss and three male coworkers all referred to her as Sue. It felt disrespectful to me.

Do you WOH? You can't just avoid interacting with coworkers. How would you write an email? If their email signature says Robert, then it is not bizarre or disrespectful to call him Robert, even if you know he goes by a nickname.

If the email signature says Robert, then I would assume he is fine with using either the full formal name or a nickname. If someone really wants to go by their nn all the time, they should put that in their signature block.

Agree. This can get difficult at work. Unless I work with you all the time, I may not remember this Michael likes to be called Mike, another Trip (because he's the third) and another hates nicknames and wants to be Michael (this is an actual example from my job). I just really need to send an email about something. If I have to use a name, I would just use Michael. Our employee directory typically lists someone's full name anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once the kid goes to school, this is all moot. My kid has a name. We call her a certain nickname at home. No one at school calls her this nickname. She is referred to by her full name and two completely different nicknames by teachers and friends. She doesn't mind--if you call her a nickname she doesn't like, she'll say so, politely but firmly. It doesn't matter.

My DD is Alexandra Cecilia Lucia. She gets called Alex and Aly at school. At home she is called Al, Lucky or Tre. She only blinks when someone calls her Alexandra. I don't think she loved being called Aly but never said anything about it, and I think the dislike eased after she noticed Aly Raisman, who is also an Alexandra.

[Anonymous]

No. My child’s name is Charles. Everyone calls him Charlie except the peds office and his own brother. His brother called him Charles.

[Anonymous]

This whole thread makes me glad we named my daughter with a no-nickname name. It’s also making me reconsider a top name on my list for baby #2, Zachary, because of the whole nickname thing. My husband and I both have no-nickname names. My brother, both my in laws, my mom and my aunt all have no-nickname names. Maybe it is just easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I have chosen two names for the child so why would use of one over another bug me. However, if the child himself develops an opinion, then I would expect people to respect that.

+1

Same here. We actually like that everyone has a different nickname for DD (her formal name has a whole bunch of associated nicknames), I think it's sweet. When she gets old enough to have an opinion, she'll have plenty of nicknames to choose from (in addition to her formal name) but who knows, maybe she'll pick something completely different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me glad we named my daughter with a no-nickname name. It’s also making me reconsider a top name on my list for baby #2, Zachary, because of the whole nickname thing. My husband and I both have no-nickname names. My brother, both my in laws, my mom and my aunt all have no-nickname names. Maybe it is just easier.

It's only a problem if you'd be bothered by people using something other than the "approved" nickname. If you're not the type to be bothered by people making up their own nicknames, it's not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I think you can just set an expectation from the get go. A friend just had a boy named Desmond. When she sent texts with pic to announce arrival she included a line saying "Please call me Desmond or Des (not Desi)." That way people don't assume. I'm an Elizabeth and as an adult still have ppl auto assume I go by Liz (which I don't). Not a big deal but just tell ppl what the preference is and then go with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me glad we named my daughter with a no-nickname name. It’s also making me reconsider a top name on my list for baby #2, Zachary, because of the whole nickname thing. My husband and I both have no-nickname names. My brother, both my in laws, my mom and my aunt all have no-nickname names. Maybe it is just easier.

A nickname is great when a kid hates their name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread makes me glad we named my daughter with a no-nickname name. It’s also making me reconsider a top name on my list for baby #2, Zachary, because of the whole nickname thing. My husband and I both have no-nickname names. My brother, both my in laws, my mom and my aunt all have no-nickname names. Maybe it is just easier.

A nickname is great when a kid hates their name.

Agree. I've always hated my name with a passion and there aren't any nicknames. My sister hates her no nickname name as well. She signs everything "Manda" instead of Amanda but no one can hear the difference and no one uses it (at work, her friends and family).

I think at work you should use your nickname as your email ([e-mail]) as well as in your signature block. I'm sick of emailing Michaels and having them tell me to call them Mike. I would have used Mike in the first place if it was in your email or signature! I want to call people by what they prefer.

[Anonymous]

I call people, children included, the name by which they introduced themselves, even if I hear others call them different names. Only if children are too young to express a name preference do I defer to parents' wishes.



I'm a secondary school teacher, so each of my students have 7+ teachers. The students are not always consistent with the nicknames they tell each teacher to use. And parents don't always know that their children use certain nicknames/alternative names. For example:

1) Student's given name is Andrew. He told me and another teacher that he goes by Andrew, told another he goes by Drew, and another that he goes by Andy. The parents called him Andy. I called him Andrew because that's what he told me he goes by.

2) Student's given name is Mckenzie Anne. She told all her teachers she goes by Annie (a diminutive of Anne, I suppose). Her parents had no idea who we were talking about when we referred to the student as Annie.

3) Student's given name is Ji-Hyun. She told some of her teachers that she goes by Jeanie and others that she goes by Ji-Hyun. The parents were offended by us calling her Jeanie, but a 14-year-old is old enough to decide what she wants to be called.

4) Student's given name is Michael. He told ALL his teachers that he goes by Michael, but the mom insisted that we call him by his middle name because his father (from whom the mother was estranged ) was also Michael. The child insisted on being called Michael, but on us using his middle name in any communication home.

[Anonymous]

I get bugged when I get called a nickname and same with my child when we use formal names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call people, children included, the name by which they introduced themselves, even if I hear others call them different names. Only if children are too young to express a name preference do I defer to parents' wishes.



I'm a secondary school teacher, so each of my students have 7+ teachers. The students are not always consistent with the nicknames they tell each teacher to use. And parents don't always know that their children use certain nicknames/alternative names. For example:

1) Student's given name is Andrew. He told me and another teacher that he goes by Andrew, told another he goes by Drew, and another that he goes by Andy. The parents called him Andy. I called him Andrew because that's what he told me he goes by.

2) Student's given name is Mckenzie Anne. She told all her teachers she goes by Annie (a diminutive of Anne, I suppose). Her parents had no idea who we were talking about when we referred to the student as Annie.

3) Student's given name is Ji-Hyun. She told some of her teachers that she goes by Jeanie and others that she goes by Ji-Hyun. The parents were offended by us calling her Jeanie, but a 14-year-old is old enough to decide what she wants to be called.

4) Student's given name is Michael. He told ALL his teachers that he goes by Michael, but the mom insisted that we call him by his middle name because his father (from whom the mother was estranged ) was also Michael. The child insisted on being called Michael, but on us using his middle name in any communication home.

3, parents should be offended and you should call by proper name.