Highest child support and alimony ever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother agreed to pay lifetime alimony to his ex. He felt guilty for wanting a divorce. He pays her $15k a month, 5k of which is child support for their daughter but their daughter is 20 and he will probably keep paying it even though she is an adult. Dropped out of college but is working at a job she loves which doesn’t pay much. She lives with her Mom.

This is in CA and they were married for 15 years. Been divorced longer than they were married at this point.

My brother does not mind paying and he can afford it so why not?

An ultra rich fool in another state who enjoys giving handouts to his lazy ex-wife despite laws that otherwise would protect his money. How is this even remotely relevant to OP?

OP asked. My sil has had cancer, three different types - pretty serious ones not melanoma, for the past 20 yrs. She also has a job which is unionized so she is able to take leave for medical treatments, chemo and radiation, without losing her job.

My brother left her for another women but that relationship did not last. If your spouse feels guilty enough there is a very good chance that you can ask for anything and get it.

Do you know why your brother was unhappy enough to leave? He doesn't sound like a bad guy honestly.

My brother is a very nice guy actually. They were just growing apart: his wife wanted another child. They have one daughter who was a very difficult baby and grew into a very difficult child, very sweet but very very sensitive and anxiety prone. Started medication and seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapy/etc for these issues in elementary school.

A pregnancy, unplanned by my brother, turned into cancer - I forget the medical name - and my sister-in-law had to go through chemo and radiation for that. After that she wanted to adopt from another country. My brother had not wanted any kids at all. My sister-in-law was a foster parent for awhile after the divorce. She collects pets and kids. She is the sweetest, nicest person. I really like her.

Right now, she is fighting breast cancer.

My brother lived with the woman he left his wife for for 5 years but they broke up and are no longer in contact. He tells everyone, he is never getting married again and date for companionship. Does not have any problems getting women, he is very buff, in excellent shape and rich.

Nice guys don't cheat on their spouses and abandon their kids. Nice guys find a way to keep their marriage going, take care of their wives in sickness and in health and raise their children. Maybe if he were around more the child would not have as many mental health issues.

He didn’t cheat but fell in love with the other woman and that’s why he left. Felt very guilty thus the life time alimony and child support for 15k a month. Still fully supports and pays for everything for his ex wife and kid. They just don’t live together as a family. His daughter had mental health issues long before the divorce.

He left her for another woman. He probably did cheat and is lying about it. Paying for his ex-wife and kid and being a father are two different things. He is throwing money at the problem vs. actually dealing with it himself. If she has significant medical and mental health issues $15K for medical care, housing, etc. may not be that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how does one not cheat yet fall in love with someone else?

Presumably he met someone at work or otherwise and, for lack of a better word, really liked them and decided to break it off with his wife and pursue it further with this woman. Some people have relatively loose definitions of what constitutes love.

[Anonymous]

my penis inside someone else constitutes looooove.

[Anonymous]

Have absolutely no respect for women who see men as their meal ticket. You must earn your way in the world like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Have absolutely no respect for women who see men as their meal ticket. You must earn your way in the world like everyone else.

Then men must bare kids, breastfeed and lose years to child raring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother currently paying 5k/ mo alimony. No kids. She left him. She never worked during their marriage. He put her through a top 5 business school even. It's nuts. He makes 180k, so not like he is super wealthy. California considers it a long term marriage. She claims she is emotionally disabled and not able to support herself. Maybe it's true, but it's not my brothers fault and now he's saddled with this burden.

When my crazy, lazy ex-DW started to talk about getting herself on full disability I got my affairs in order and filed. She now works full-time, unlike during the marriage.

She wanted to not work and bring money into your home via disability. You are angry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother currently paying 5k/ mo alimony. No kids. She left him. She never worked during their marriage. He put her through a top 5 business school even. It's nuts. He makes 180k, so not like he is super wealthy. California considers it a long term marriage. She claims she is emotionally disabled and not able to support herself. Maybe it's true, but it's not my brothers fault and now he's saddled with this burden.

When my crazy, lazy ex-DW started to talk about getting herself on full disability I got my affairs in order and filed. She now works full-time, unlike during the marriage.

She wanted to not work and bring money into your home via disability. You are angry?

Disability pays about 20 percent of what a real job pays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Have absolutely no respect for women who see men as their meal ticket. You must earn your way in the world like everyone else.

Then men must bare kids, breastfeed and lose years to child raring.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Nobody forces you to have children. That is your choice and, if you are married or partnered, that of your spouse or partner. How you decide to arrange the child rearing is entirely your business. But the expectation that you are owed money - other than that to help support the children until the age of majority - for life is absolutely ludicrous. You will get enough, if you have been a SAHM, to get on your feet and join the working world. There is no way - despite her own sense of entitlement - I was ever going to give my Ivy educated ex spousal support for life because "she took time off." When we divorced, she was earning in the six figures and under VA law entitled to jack sh*t. Plus she was a cheating, lying b***h. So, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Have absolutely no respect for women who see men as their meal ticket. You must earn your way in the world like everyone else.

Then men must bare kids, breastfeed and lose years to child raring.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Nobody forces you to have children. That is your choice and, if you are married or partnered, that of your spouse or partner. How you decide to arrange the child rearing is entirely your business. But the expectation that you are owed money - other than that to help support the children until the age of majority - for life is absolutely ludicrous. You will get enough, if you have been a SAHM, to get on your feet and join the working world. There is no way - despite her own sense of entitlement - I was ever going to give my Ivy educated ex spousal support for life because "she took time off." When we divorced, she was earning in the six figures and under VA law entitled to jack sh*t. Plus she was a cheating, lying b***h. So, no.

Proven adultery in VA is a bar for spousal support so no need to worry for you.

[Anonymous]

Alimony in 2018 is so bizarre. I remember my mom's best friend got divorced from her lying, abusive, alcoholic husband back in 1993 when she was around 45. Going to college in the mid-60s, they were of the era where it was pretty understandable that the woman didn't have a career to fall back on, so of course she fought tooth and nail for alimony from him. Which meant she's had to spend all those years since then having to remain in contact with her abusive alcoholic ex husband while he tries to hide money and otherwise continue to abuse her. I acknowledge that in 1993 this was the obvious thing to do.

But now it's been TWENTY FIVE years. In that period, I started and graduated from highschool, college, law school and became a partner in a law firm. My god, think of the things she could have been doing during 25 years. I'm not sure why we (then or now) act like a 45 year old women is so out to pasture that she can't possibly work again. Yes, she's 70 now - perfect age to have worked for 22 years and have retired at 67.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alimony in 2018 is so bizarre. I remember my mom's best friend got divorced from her lying, abusive, alcoholic husband back in 1993 when she was around 45. Going to college in the mid-60s, they were of the era where it was pretty understandable that the woman didn't have a career to fall back on, so of course she fought tooth and nail for alimony from him. Which meant she's had to spend all those years since then having to remain in contact with her abusive alcoholic ex husband while he tries to hide money and otherwise continue to abuse her. I acknowledge that in 1993 this was the obvious thing to do.

But now it's been TWENTY FIVE years. In that period, I started and graduated from highschool, college, law school and became a partner in a law firm. My god, think of the things she could have been doing during 25 years. I'm not sure why we (then or now) act like a 45 year old women is so out to pasture that she can't possibly work again. Yes, she's 70 now - perfect age to have worked for 22 years and have retired at 67.

Alimony is not a bizarre concept in the sense that it maintains and recognizes an ex-spouse's interest in an investment that both parties mutually and jointly agreed to.

Take, for example, a newly-married couple who begin their lives equally well-educated and burdened by student debt. After about a decade of career development for both spouses, both parties jointly and mutually decide that the best way to maximize the economic and personal potential of Jones & Co. (i.e., "the Jones family") is an equitable division of labor (e.g., professional/personal, management/worker, brains/brawn) wherein one spouse will continue to work full-time and all-out, develop their professional skills and talents, advance in their career, travel often, -- and if need be -- make multiple professional and geographic moves; and the other spouse will focus on the personal side of things, namely by devoting themselves to raising the children, and supporting and facilitating the other spouse's full-time professional commitments and multiple career moves.

After 15 or more years of such agreed-upon division of labor, and at such time as the partnership has existed for more than 22 years, one of the partners unilaterally decides to dissolve the partnership of Jones & Co., often to partner with someone else. The issue is that Jones & Co. has now become a relatively profitable venture, generating a net income of one million or more a year. Alimony is akin to the "terminated" partner maintaining an equity stake of 40%+ in Jones % Co

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony in 2018 is so bizarre. I remember my mom's best friend got divorced from her lying, abusive, alcoholic husband back in 1993 when she was around 45. Going to college in the mid-60s, they were of the era where it was pretty understandable that the woman didn't have a career to fall back on, so of course she fought tooth and nail for alimony from him. Which meant she's had to spend all those years since then having to remain in contact with her abusive alcoholic ex husband while he tries to hide money and otherwise continue to abuse her. I acknowledge that in 1993 this was the obvious thing to do.

But now it's been TWENTY FIVE years. In that period, I started and graduated from highschool, college, law school and became a partner in a law firm. My god, think of the things she could have been doing during 25 years. I'm not sure why we (then or now) act like a 45 year old women is so out to pasture that she can't possibly work again. Yes, she's 70 now - perfect age to have worked for 22 years and have retired at 67.

Alimony is not a bizarre concept in the sense that it maintains and recognizes an ex-spouse's interest in an investment that both parties mutually and jointly agreed to.

Take, for example, a newly-married couple who begin their lives equally well-educated and burdened by student debt. After about a decade of career development for both spouses, both parties jointly and mutually decide that the best way to maximize the economic and personal potential of Jones & Co. (i.e., "the Jones family") is an equitable division of labor (e.g., professional/personal, management/worker, brains/brawn) wherein one spouse will continue to work full-time and all-out, develop their professional skills and talents, advance in their career, travel often, -- and if need be -- make multiple professional and geographic moves; and the other spouse will focus on the personal side of things, namely by devoting themselves to raising the children, and supporting and facilitating the other spouse's full-time professional commitments and multiple career moves.

After 15 or more years of such agreed-upon division of labor, and at such time as the partnership has existed for more than 22 years, one of the partners unilaterally decides to dissolve the partnership of Jones & Co., often to partner with someone else. The issue is that Jones & Co. has now become a relatively profitable venture, generating a net income of one million or more a year. Alimony is akin to the "terminated" partner maintaining an equity stake of 40%+ in Jones % Co

Then it seems that the "personal side" partner made a very bad investment 15 years prior, which anyone could have foreseen.

[Anonymous]

I feel like the woman who got a percentage of a business that was started within the marriage is totally legit. Im against long term alimony in general but agreeing on shares of a business is different to me. I would cash those checks with no guilt because thats the part of the business I own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony in 2018 is so bizarre. I remember my mom's best friend got divorced from her lying, abusive, alcoholic husband back in 1993 when she was around 45. Going to college in the mid-60s, they were of the era where it was pretty understandable that the woman didn't have a career to fall back on, so of course she fought tooth and nail for alimony from him. Which meant she's had to spend all those years since then having to remain in contact with her abusive alcoholic ex husband while he tries to hide money and otherwise continue to abuse her. I acknowledge that in 1993 this was the obvious thing to do.

But now it's been TWENTY FIVE years. In that period, I started and graduated from highschool, college, law school and became a partner in a law firm. My god, think of the things she could have been doing during 25 years. I'm not sure why we (then or now) act like a 45 year old women is so out to pasture that she can't possibly work again. Yes, she's 70 now - perfect age to have worked for 22 years and have retired at 67.

Alimony is not a bizarre concept in the sense that it maintains and recognizes an ex-spouse's interest in an investment that both parties mutually and jointly agreed to.

Take, for example, a newly-married couple who begin their lives equally well-educated and burdened by student debt. After about a decade of career development for both spouses, both parties jointly and mutually decide that the best way to maximize the economic and personal potential of Jones & Co. (i.e., "the Jones family") is an equitable division of labor (e.g., professional/personal, management/worker, brains/brawn) wherein one spouse will continue to work full-time and all-out, develop their professional skills and talents, advance in their career, travel often, -- and if need be -- make multiple professional and geographic moves; and the other spouse will focus on the personal side of things, namely by devoting themselves to raising the children, and supporting and facilitating the other spouse's full-time professional commitments and multiple career moves.

After 15 or more years of such agreed-upon division of labor, and at such time as the partnership has existed for more than 22 years, one of the partners unilaterally decides to dissolve the partnership of Jones & Co., often to partner with someone else. The issue is that Jones & Co. has now become a relatively profitable venture, generating a net income of one million or more a year. Alimony is akin to the "terminated" partner maintaining an equity stake of 40%+ in Jones & Co.

Then it seems that the "personal side" partner made a very bad investment 15 years prior, which anyone could have foreseen.

To the contrary, the "personal side" partner made a good, wise, and loving investment in a partnership that now generates healthy annual revenue. The partnership may have been reconfigured with a new partner, but the original partner is still eligible to receive an annual distribution for their interest, buyout, and pension stakes the joint creation and development of the successful venture.

[Anonymous]

My husband was married before for 17 years. No kids. She negotiated no alimony but 30 percent of his pension. We had a pension meeting last year and DH is due to get 8,300.00 a month and 1/3 of it goes out the window. At the time he thought he was being smart by not giving her a percentage of his 401k and he didn't even think his pension would be around. She took a gamble and it worked. Its odd because he hasn't seen her or given her a dime in 14 years but she will have this parachute coming to her soon.