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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother agreed to pay lifetime alimony to his ex.  He felt guilty for wanting a divorce.  He pays her $15k a month, 5k of which is child support for their daughter but their daughter is 20 and he will probably keep paying it even though she is an adult.  Dropped out of college but is working at a job she loves which doesn’t pay much.  She lives with her Mom.

This is in CA and they were married for 15 years.  Been divorced longer than they were married at this point.

My brother does not mind paying and he can afford it so why not?[/quote]
An ultra rich fool in another state who enjoys giving handouts to his lazy ex-wife despite laws that otherwise would protect his money. How is this even remotely relevant to OP?[/quote]

OP asked.  My sil has had cancer, three different types - pretty serious ones not melanoma, for the past 20 yrs.  She also has a job which is unionized so she is able to take leave for medical treatments, chemo and radiation, without losing her job.

My brother left her for another women but that relationship did not last.  If your spouse feels guilty enough there is a very good chance that you can ask for anything and get it.[/quote]

Do you know why your brother was unhappy enough to leave? He doesn't sound like a bad guy honestly.[/quote]

My brother is a very nice guy actually.  They were just growing apart:  his wife wanted another child. They have one daughter who was a very difficult baby and grew into a very difficult child, very sweet but very very sensitive and anxiety prone.  Started medication and seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapy/etc for these issues in elementary school.

A pregnancy, unplanned by my brother, turned into cancer - I forget the medical name - and my sister-in-law had to go through chemo and radiation for that.  After that she wanted to adopt from another country.  My brother had not wanted any kids at all.  My sister-in-law was a foster parent for awhile after the divorce.  She collects pets and kids.  She is the sweetest, nicest person.  I really like her.

Right now, she is fighting breast cancer.

My brother lived with the woman he left his wife for for 5 years but they broke up and are no longer in contact.  He tells everyone, he is never getting married again and date for companionship.  Does not have any problems getting women, he is very buff, in excellent shape and rich.

[/quote]

Nice guys don't cheat on their spouses and abandon their kids.  Nice guys find a way to keep their marriage going, take care of their wives in sickness and in health and raise their children.  Maybe if he were around more the child would not have as many mental health issues.[/quote]

He didn’t cheat but fell in love with the other woman and that’s why he left.  Felt very guilty thus the life time alimony and child support for 15k a month.  Still fully supports and pays for everything for his ex wife and kid.  They just don’t live together as a family.  His daughter had mental health issues long before the divorce.[/quote]

He left her for another woman.  He probably did cheat and is lying about it.  Paying for his ex-wife and kid and being a father are two different things.  He is throwing money at the problem vs. actually dealing with it himself.  If she has significant medical and mental health issues $15K for medical care, housing, etc. may not be that much.[/quote]

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