My son's first grade class

[Anonymous]

Comparing Montessori age spreads to the redshirting phenomenon. OK, then, I think that sells me.

[Anonymous]

You finally got it! You used the term spread. I assume you understand the concept of Bell shaped curve (spread) or Gausian distribution. This should help the redshirt police understand that it is not a crime or "selfishness" for a 5 year-old to be in the same class as a 7-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why people think parents are pushing "redshirting" -- it was the school officials that refused to even consider letting my DS with a summer birthday be in the grade I thought he should have been in -- they all insisted he be held back.
We talked to a number of private schools in DC and got the same story everywhere. Even went to one of those "consultants" who agreed with the schools. Don't resent the parents -- it's not our fault!

Exactly. If you don't have a summer birthday child, you simply don't understand the pressure from private school admissions personnel to either apply for Pre-K instead (if they have it) or don't apply at all until the next year. If you go ahead and apply for K anyway, they will just reject your child. There may be an exception here and there, but that is the experience of most summer birthday children in private school. I told a story on another thread earlier in the year about touring over 15 private kindergartens, and I'd look carefully at the birthday balloons displayed on the wall. There were always many fall and winter birthdays, a few spring birthdays, and then several July and August birthdays - from the prior year. I never did see a June birthday...which was perplexing to this mother of a June birthday child!

[Anonymous]

OP: just read the research on redshiritng and you won't feel so bad for your son anymore...you'll likely just feel bad for those boys who were redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Oh where, oh where do those summer birthday children then go ? From your post summer birthday kids do not attend private schools!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh where, oh where do those summer birthday children then go ? From your post summer birthday kids do not attend private schools!

They do but they wait until the following year. My friend's son just finished K at a private school and with a May birthday, he was the youngest in his class.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure he was just fine...as was the oldest in the class.

[Anonymous]

A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

Do you have a summer birthday child? If so, have you applied to private school? Have you actually had to make these kinds of decisions yourself, for your own family? Or are you just making observations about others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

Do you have a summer birthday child? If so, have you applied to private school? Have you actually had to make these kinds of decisions yourself, for your own family? Or are you just making observations about others?

Me again. I said very clearly that the only people I know appear to have made this decision as part of their hovering behavior, and that this colors my view of the practice generally. They did it for DCPS. No one asked them to. Their private pre-k, a very nurturing place, said it was unnecessary.

And no, I don't have a summer child. I'm a december birthday who went to kindergarten at age 4.75 and did fine.

Others might not.

But it's ridiculous to say that NO redshirting results from nervous parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
But it's ridiculous to say that NO redshirting results from nervous parents.

Did I say that??

I'm pointing out that you cannot understand the decisionmaking process parents of summer birthday children need to go through if you have not walked in our shoes. In fact, you are trivializing a very difficult decisionmaking process. Your experience as a kindergartener, even if you are a young lady, is irrelevant in today's world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

Do you have a summer birthday child? If so, have you applied to private school? Have you actually had to make these kinds of decisions yourself, for your own family? Or are you just making observations about others?

I'm not the person who posted that, but I posted above about having a son with an August b-day who is attending a private school. IME, redshirting is more prevalent in private schools, and some schools push it more than others. However, you can still find some summer birthdays in private schools who were not redshirted --and EVEN -GASP -some BOYS!! Also, it's happening in public schools, too. As I said above, I have had some reactions of disbelief (perhaps disdain?) when I have said that my ds has started kindergarten having just turned 5. One even asked what school he would attend if he "ended up having to repeat" (????) If I thought that he would "have to repeat," I wouldn't have sent him -- and I would think/hope that the school wouldn't have recommended sending him, either. I have discovered another trend of parents who do send their kids to K at one school and then switch and start K next year at another -- with their intention being to do K twice for ultra-preparation, I assume. I guess that's why I got the question of where I would send him for K next year. Who knows, this may all backfire on me, and I may wish I had not sent him at all, but at least I am following my instincts first. I don't judge anyone else for doing the same - including if that means deciding to redshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

Do you have a summer birthday child? If so, have you applied to private school? Have you actually had to make these kinds of decisions yourself, for your own family? Or are you just making observations about others?

I'm not the person who posted that, but I posted above about having a son with an August b-day who is attending a private school. IME, redshirting is more prevalent in private schools, and some schools push it more than others. However, you can still find some summer birthdays in private schools who were not redshirted --and EVEN -GASP -some BOYS!! Also, it's happening in public schools, too. As I said above, I have had some reactions of disbelief (perhaps disdain?) when I have said that my ds has started kindergarten having just turned 5. One even asked what school he would attend if he "ended up having to repeat" (????) If I thought that he would "have to repeat," I wouldn't have sent him -- and I would think/hope that the school wouldn't have recommended sending him, either. I have discovered another trend of parents who do send their kids to K at one school and then switch and start K next year at another -- with their intention being to do K twice for ultra-preparation, I assume. I guess that's why I got the question of where I would send him for K next year. Who knows, this may all backfire on me, and I may wish I had not sent him at all, but at least I am following my instincts first. I don't judge anyone else for doing the same - including if that means deciding to redshirt.

Yes, you have credibility because you have gone through the decisionmaking process. Even if we came to a different decision (after clearly receiving differing recommendations from admissions personnel), I respect your opinion. I don't respect the opinions of people who have no direct experience in this regard, and prefer instead to just throw clueless darts.

[Anonymous]

Another poster:

Yes, I have gone through the process and I am going through the process this week. I have no qualms if there is a child 1,2, 3 years or older in a class with my 5-year-old kindergarten boy (redshirt or blueshirt). In fact, the oldest, 8 and entering 3rd grade, is subject accelerated 3 grades for math (x 2 years) and moves to another wing of a building with kids much older than he. So far, he has suffered no trauma. It's too early to assess the 5-year-old (stayed at home) who never attended any pre-K and has a smoother disposition. My children have never expressed any issues with classes alongside older children or athletic teams with older children when their skills are commensurate for the activity level.

My experience confirms overwhelmingly that this cackle is parental neurosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bit sheepish to admit-- but I'm guessing that I'm not alone in this.

I really don't think that redshirting, whether by the schools or by the parents, harms the non-redshirt kids.

But the only parents I know who did it are total hoverers who go on and on about their child's "needs" when they are actually talking about his neuroses. Mom called me out for inviting her son to play in the pool with us and our daughter-- who is six months younger-- because of his "confidence problem," even though she hadn't given him a chance to turn us down.

They held him back even though he'd been in a great preschool and is apparently bright and does very well socially because they're convinced that he's socially immature and unconfident. Also he's on the short side, but not tiny.

I look at their redshirting him as a reflection of their own bizarre parenting, which I find creepy.

I'm sure that his being held back won't bother any of his new kindergarten classmates, and I don't think that he was all that upset to be held back and not in K with his preschool friends, though I saw him ask about it once at kiddie soccer practice.

At the end of the day, their decision didn't really have any consequences, and I know that. But as a parent who is more focused on cultivating my child's inner confidence, I think that many parents who choose to red shirt are taking what feels like an easy way out but is in fact not a solution to anything.

A few thoughts - first, our son has a good friend at a pretty highly regarded DC private school (not the Big 3 or 4) who started in their nursery school, has a summer (June) b-day, and started K perfectly on time at 5. Never was any issue or suggestion that he wait. This boy is bright, but not gifted, and has a good personality. Not an exceptional superstar child at all (I mean this as a compliment).

Second, I definitely think, that with the exception of a few privates and some cases where there are developmental issues, the whole phenomenon is due to hoverers.

Our DS has a summer (June) b-day and there was never any issue on our part that he'd start K at 5. He's had some academic challenges but no problems socially. Another year wouldn't have made a difference.