Sport for highly sensitive/unathletic boy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip gymnastics at 5. Its not really geared toward boys. Dynamite is overpriced and crowded. Karate is probably your best bet at this point. Fencing does not start till age 7 in Montgomery County. You can do a trial class and see if he likes it. If he does, then you buy all the gear and continue. My son loves it. Swim is great but just know that he probably will only get to be on summer swim teams as the winter ones are very competitive and most kids have been swimming for several years once they hit 6 or so. Summer swim team is fun. Some of the county pools have it for really cheap but he has to be able to swim ok in the deep water alone (for the young ones ours has an older team member in there with them).

True of some winter swim teams, but not all. Some of the bigger ones have a developmental group for 8 & under and some also have a pre-team stroke improvement program that is run like a cross between team and lessons. Just look around a little.

We are on the RMSC one and its pretty serious and not at all lesson like. If he is that sensitive and not ok with loud or constant coach comments, he's better off in swim lessons vs. preteam. My kid is the middle of the pack. Its not for beginners.

OP, you need to do swim at least 2-3 a week and not just one 30 minute class to see improvement.

How about music? I know you are looking at sports, but genetically music may be a better fit.

Thanks PP. We are looking at sports only because we have been told to improve DS's gross motor skills. But yes, music activities are great for him....

We did swimming 3x/week this summer and did see improvement. It seems a little bit unmanageable to keep up that pace throughout the school year though.

[Anonymous]

True of some winter swim teams, but not all. Some of the bigger ones have a developmental group for 8 & under and some also have a pre-team stroke improvement program that is run like a cross between team and lessons. Just look around a little.

Yes, but honestly, even the stroke clinics are physically demanding. My 7 year old son is relatively uncoordinated, but not necessarily unathletic. He did the Marlins clinic last year, and though he enjoyed it by the end, he got a lot of cramps at the beginning and was exhausted afterwards. It is pretty much 45 minutes of nonstop lap swimming. We also had to adjust when he ate breakfast (which was several hours before) so he did not feel nauseous. It did make him a much stronger swimmer, though. We would have signed him up again if the schedule had not changed.

[Anonymous]

recommend to read "the strong , sensitive boy"

[Anonymous]

Our son has really done well in Aikido. You may have to shop around for a studio that you like. We first went to a Tai Kwan Do place that was not a good fit. Most places give you a free trial before signing up.

[Anonymous]

OP here: thanks to everyone for these great tips. It is good to see that there are others who have similar children and they have managed somehow to interest them in sports.

Here is my game plan - I think we will try the following activities:
- Swimming: we are already working on learning to swim and he likes it. So we will persist and maybe once he really figures it out, he will like the sport itself and want to be on a swim team.
- Martial arts: this is a great idea and we will try it. What is the difference between karate and TKD? We are NW DC and can travel to Bethesda if needed.
- Dance: another good idea. We tried a salsa class once but the music was too loud for my DS. A ballet class may be more up his alley so thanks for those recommendations.
- Fencing: ? I will have to ask around about this. I have very little idea how this works or what the kids do and whether it would be a good fit.

I may also investigate doing six months or so of OT. As long as the prices are not astronomical, it probably can't hurt.

And to the PP who suggested doing more sports with him in the backyard, we will try to improve in this area. Admittedly, it is not our forte. DH is a classical musician who was awkward at sports himself (and frankly doesn't really care). I was a collegiate athlete but I find it really hard to work with DS on sports since he is so uncoordinated and I can't relate to that situation. Also, he doesn't like sports so it is a trying process....

I don't think that I will try gymnastics because it sounds chaotic which is really hard for him. Also, he panics when he is put on the spot to do anything. He is very sensitive and gets stage fright in almost any situation. This is why baseball has been so hard -- he can't hit the ball and he knows it and he feels very self conscious about this. And despite what everyone has says, the baseball league here in NW DC is NOT T ball for his age group (they throw the ball) and most of the kids actually can hit the ball, unlike my DS. I don't care if he hits the ball or not if he is having fun. But he does, and that is why he hates going to baseball.

Thanks again!

We did fencing with my son who was somewhat similar (not especially uncoordinated, but not very into team sports and definitely "afraid of the ball" in soccer). He liked it okay, but we didn't stick with it after the intro session. Might be worth trying, though I believe the place we went didn't start until age 7. Both running and swimming have been good for my son. If you can work on swimming over the winter, he might be able to join your local swim team or "pre-team" next summer. At our pool at least, both were very supportive environments, and very fun in terms of providing team camaraderie while keeping the focus on individual improvement. The first few weeks were a challenge for my son, but his growth both emotionally and in terms of physical ability over the season were fantastic to witness.

As for the backyard sports, I'd focus on being active rather than playing any particular sport. He'll still benefit physically, without the "pressure" of sports -- and it might keep you from being frustrated as well. A trampoline can be great for this - there are all kinds of games you/he can make up with bouncing, catching, throwing, etc. when you combine a trampoline and some balls and stuffed animals.

I'll also say too that my son's interest and ability to participate in team sports really evolved between ages 5 and 8, really surprising us. He's currently on a rec soccer team, and while definitely not one of the strong players, enjoys being on the team, is getting very into the strategy involved (positions and placement), and doesn't totally embarrass himself on the field. As he's gotten older, I've come to realize that 5 is really young for many kids for team sports.

[Anonymous]

Horseback riding. 5 is the perfect age to start, it's great for sensitive people, and requires a very different set of skills that ball sports. I won a national championship and can't throw or catch a ball for anything. I also sucked at all team sports. Plus, we need more boys. Try to get him in a class with at least one other boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

is too fast moving and he appears to be scared of the ball.

Just curious how long you tried soccer for. My son is also relatively unathletic and unaggressive, but he has gotten better at soccer over the past 2 years (he's in 2nd grade now) - he went from being awful to mediocre. It is a big social outlet at his school, so we are glad he stuck with it and made some progress, even though he'll never be really good.

Unfortunately, he's on the cusp of the moment when all of the good kids leave the rec teams for tryout teams, and the rec teams start to fall apart. You might want to start thinking now of another sport to switch to.

[Anonymous]

To answer your question, Karate is a Japanese martial art, TKD is Korean. They are different and then there are different styles within each. Both involve kicking, punching and blocking, in contrast to a grappling style like jujitsu. Typically neither involves a weapon although more advanced students may take those up.

Either one is fine. More important is to find a good studio for your kid. You want a place that is encouraging and fun yet will demand effort and excellence from your kid (because true achievements are what develops genuine confidence). Some are more focused on sparring, which you'll probably want to avoid for now. Others focus more on teaching good technique in the forms.

[Anonymous]

Others have recommended swimming. I'd recommend that as well. One of my boys (age 7) doesn't have good hand-eye coordination (and struggled even with t-ball) but he does pay attention to instructions and is coachable. That seems to be enough to be good enough at swimming. Who knows how he will do on a team (right now he is just doing stroke clinics and private classes) but I think he is getting a lot out of it. And it was also recommended by an OT who said that it improves arm strength which can help with handwriting.