Does having an IEP or 504 hurt a child's chance for private school admissions?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We are right there with you and plan to send DS to private school starting in 6th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD and has an IEP mostly for social communication issues. Gets great grades fully mainstreamed at a dual language school and is very talented in chess and math. (The current world champion in chess, Magnus Carlson, is suspected of having Asperger's too).

His psychiatrist and neuropsych think DS will do fine at a top tier private school and the schools also recruit for chess (and he has legacy status at one) so we'll see how it works out. We plan on submitting a current neuropsych eval along with everything else. If private school does not work out there are also public magnets.

What are your DS's social communications issues and what are the supports and specialized instruction that he receives in public, but will not have in private? Wondering how the withdrawal of this support/ instruction will affect the child's performance (and social situation - since it will be middle school, after all!).

His issues are mainly that he will not engage with peers and is slow to warm up to other kids. He is fine with adults and older and younger kids. He gets speech with SLP for pragmatics, social skills class with the school counselor, lunch bunch arranged by SN teacher, and OT for fine motor - touch typing practice with OT. Academically, DS gets extra help with written composition but he also tests three grade levels ahead in both reading and math fully mainstreamed.

The private schools we are looking at provide excellent instruction in writing and DS probably does not need more than that. As for the social communication issues, we have noticed that they have improved dramatically since he has been medicated for his ADHD and since he started playing chess. DS is exceptionally gifted in math and chess and has "chess" friends and other kids who seek him out wanting to be friends. Some of these kids are at the private schools we will be applying to.

DS has had an IEP since prek and is now in 4th grade. DS has ASD/ADHD but not anxiety according to his neuropsych eval: most people will never guess that DS has any diagnosis and/or an IEP.

People will guess from this. And the preference of talking to adults.

We are disclosing his diagnosis and fact he has an IEP so the school won't have to guess since we'll be submitting his full neuropsych eval.

DS is a chess prodigy, a talent NYC private schools recruit for so if a school discriminate against him because of his disability, he'll play for another school that wants him.

That is great. You might want to consider focusing less on the chess prodigy aspect of your child and perhaps more on social/emotional/academic fit. That is to say, not the recruiting talent as the number one item. GL in NYC.

Thanks! DS already knows kids at many of the schools from chess. He competes all the country and basically sees the same group of people most weekends. We don't expect this to change even after moving to NYC. He does not need academic supports and is an excellent student. His current IEP is for social communication issues and supports in writing but he does not need more supports than what a good writing curriculum will provide. He tests above grade level in all academic areas at a dual language school where he spends only 50% of his time in English.

Also, our developmental pediatrician really pushed SN schools for DS when he was diagnosed with ASD/Asperger's when he was four for the social/emotional aspect. Frankly, we think the dev ped was wrong and stopped working with him. We prefer to focus on DS's strengths which is academics and chess rather than focusing on his deficits. FYI, DS loves his mainstream school which he has attended since prek, has friends and is a happy child.

[Anonymous]

OP, please remind us -- what is your question for the thread? And what will a sufficient answer look like to you?

Because this is not looking like seeking an answer to me.

[Anonymous]

If your child has a disability that requires a 504 or an IEP, would you want him or her in a school that holds those needs against the child when it comes to admissions? You should be looking for a school that is a good fit for your child. Not all private schools are well equipped to handle children with disabilities or they may be great with some disabilities but not all. It's best to be open and frank about your child's needs and see who can best provide the support your child needs. Sometimes that may even mean keeping a child in a public school setting and supplementing with one on one private services after school. You should be interviewing schools, sharing the 504 or IEP with them and ask how support would look like in their school. Can they address those types of needs? Their response will let you know if your child should apply there or not.

[Anonymous]

There are kids with ASD - level 1 who can be mainstreamed and kids who have the same label and cannot be mainstreamed. OP's kid is years from middle school A lot will change just because of natural maturing, and also because of the ASD. As many others have pointed out from their experiences, as demands increase on ASD kids, so can their issues.

It's very premature for OP to start mentally filling out applications for mainstream private schools at this point! I hope OP's planned future for her child works out and that her DC can mainstream.

I think everyone is reacting so strongly bc OP doesn't seem to grasp the flexibility that will be required on this journey as she learns to provide what her child truly needs vs what she dreams of.

[Anonymous]

I don't think chess prodigy/NYC kid is OP's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think chess prodigy/NYC kid is OP's.

No, the chess prodigy mom is someone completely different and someone who is completely tone deaf to issues on this forum. Most kids SN or not aren't prodigies of any kind. She just likes to brag about her kid but her experience isn't even applicable to most twice exceptional kids. Certainly there must be a chess forum where she could post to her heart's content.

[Anonymous]

I think you guys are being kind of harsh on her. Ok, she is a bit tone-deaf, but don't we all prefer to think and talk about our kid's strengths and not the deficits?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you guys are being kind of harsh on her. Ok, she is a bit tone-deaf, but don't we all prefer to think and talk about our kid's strengths and not the deficits?

Chess mom here. I've posted the good and the bad since my kid got a diagnosis and an IEP five yrs ago. I've asked for advice on this forum since my child's prek teacher first notified us that DC may have issues and that an evaluation was in order. I am the first poster to ever mention getting a behavioral intervention plan and a functional behavioral analysis on this forum. Many of you have been very helpful in our journey and I've received a lot of support and advice on this forum including finding most of our therapists and doctors. To give back, I've also related experiences with various providers in the hope that it is helpful to others.

Thanks in part to this forum and the info some of you have kindly provided, DS has had a great IEP and supports/services at school since he was diagnosed with ASD and later with ADHD. So successful that it looks like I have gotten as much as I can from this forum in helping DS. Thank you!


I am sorry that some of you only want to commiserate about how hard it is being a SN parent without hearing about the joys and that our success so far in supporting DS with SNs is considered "bragging".

I will follow the advice of pp and go to chess forums and the like.

Good luck to all of you!