Can someone explain Saturday morning soccer to me?

[Anonymous]

If I asked my kid, I bet the answer would be "yes, I want to do it." But that's the answer to everything, when in reality, after the long school week, kid loves to stay in PJs and play with home toys until 10am. Not my idea of a fun time to struggle out the door one more day, dragging the toddler along, too. So if you do soccer, tell me, what's great about it?

Sounds like it might not be the right fit for you and your kid then. There is nothing objectively "great" or "not great" about soccer. It is just whether it works for you. My kid gets up at 6:30, is dressed by 8, and by 10, is ready to get out of the house. So it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

European here and, if you are OP, it wouldn't make sense for you to come here. We don't like whiners, and you sound like an American-sized one.

Like soccer? Take your kids. Don't like it? Don't take them. Zero need for blah blah and drama.

[Anonymous]

OK I think a couple posters wondered, "What is it with team sports?" I think I can answer this Q. I grew up playing sports - yes, hiking and skiing, but also team soccer and basketball (and swim team, but oh my goodness, I loathed it!). Anyways, soccer was and is super special for me. I grew up in the 70s and we were really one of the first generations of girls to have access to team sports. And soccer was kind of new in this country at the time. I had an AMAZING coach - one of the moms - who took an interest in all of us. Her daughter was a completely natural athlete and ridiculously good looking, a total alpha type with potential to be a mean girl, and yet she NEVER acted badly to her teammates. I was friends with every kind of kid on that team. Different SES, races, neighborhoods. We all worked our asses off to accomplish goals and we really supported each other. It made my high school experience so much richer to know these girls. I didn't play in college although I did walk on to my D3 school's team. Decided I didn't want to dedicate the time to playing. I have wanted to share that experience with my kids. They both play (girl and boy). Different levels of play. I do not have my kids play so they can get into college. I think soccer is so omnipresent it truly would be hard to distinguish yourself in that sport. However, I absolutely love the discipline, the camaraderie, the toughness I learned from playing sports. When your team's place in a tournament is on the line, can you play well even though 2 of your toenails have fallen off? My mental toughness 100% comes from playing sports. Also my sense of how to work with others, how to ensure that the goal at hand (eg winning the game or scoring) happens -- sometimes at great cost (learning to pace oneself, and the need for bursts of work to accomplish said goal). But most of all it's nostalgia for me. I also am an early riser. But my H absolutely is not. Yet we both love to go watch our kids play. I would recommend translating whatever I said about team sports to whatever activity it is you enjoy the most and feel most nostalgic about, and then share that with your kids. I also wax pretty nostalgic about backcountry camping, so I think the hiking sounds great. If it's not in your DNA, it's not and you don't need to force it. There are other team sports opps that won't require you to give up Saturday mornings. It is a lovely social bonding experience for kids with their peers but by no means the only one.

[Anonymous]

I am an unathletic mom who didn't do any team sports until high school (although my siblings did swim team before the divorce.) We did Stoddert last year with two girls. I wanted my kids to learn about sports, team work, taking direction from a coach, get some exercise and have fun. I did not want them to end up uncoordinated and shunning team activities like I did.
We have a boat and like to go fishing, camping, visit friends out of town etc. DH was horrified I was "ruining our weekends" - the games start as early as 8:30 and as late at 1 pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK I think a couple posters wondered, "What is it with team sports?" I think I can answer this Q. I grew up playing sports - yes, hiking and skiing, but also team soccer and basketball (and swim team, but oh my goodness, I loathed it!). Anyways, soccer was and is super special for me. I grew up in the 70s and we were really one of the first generations of girls to have access to team sports. And soccer was kind of new in this country at the time. I had an AMAZING coach - one of the moms - who took an interest in all of us. Her daughter was a completely natural athlete and ridiculously good looking, a total alpha type with potential to be a mean girl, and yet she NEVER acted badly to her teammates. I was friends with every kind of kid on that team. Different SES, races, neighborhoods. We all worked our asses off to accomplish goals and we really supported each other. It made my high school experience so much richer to know these girls. I didn't play in college although I did walk on to my D3 school's team. Decided I didn't want to dedicate the time to playing. I have wanted to share that experience with my kids. They both play (girl and boy). Different levels of play. I do not have my kids play so they can get into college. I think soccer is so omnipresent it truly would be hard to distinguish yourself in that sport. However, I absolutely love the discipline, the camaraderie, the toughness I learned from playing sports. When your team's place in a tournament is on the line, can you play well even though 2 of your toenails have fallen off? My mental toughness 100% comes from playing sports. Also my sense of how to work with others, how to ensure that the goal at hand (eg winning the game or scoring) happens -- sometimes at great cost (learning to pace oneself, and the need for bursts of work to accomplish said goal). But most of all it's nostalgia for me. I also am an early riser. But my H absolutely is not. Yet we both love to go watch our kids play. I would recommend translating whatever I said about team sports to whatever activity it is you enjoy the most and feel most nostalgic about, and then share that with your kids. I also wax pretty nostalgic about backcountry camping, so I think the hiking sounds great. If it's not in your DNA, it's not and you don't need to force it. There are other team sports opps that won't require you to give up Saturday mornings. It is a lovely social bonding experience for kids with their peers but by no means the only one.

So you learned all that from soccer, but you loathed swimming. So doesn't it make sense that there are children who loathe soccer and would not get any of the benefits you mention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

The thing is colleges don't care if you go for a hike for exercise. They want to see commitment or leadership in a consistent activity- whether that is soccer, other sports, music, or something else. So for parents who want their kids to go to a decent college, it is not that they want a "circus performer," so much as to put their children in a position to be a competitive candidate for college.

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

And it often backfires.

[Anonymous]

That's actually what I figured. Parents are encouraging their 3rd graders to play travel soccer so they can get into a good college in 10 years. That's screwed up to me.

Eh, I guess it depends on how you look at it. My kid does soccer, but he's pretty mediocre, so we're not doing it so that he can get into college, just for exercise. He's really good at math, though, and loves it, we do additional tutoring twice a week to keep him sharp and working ahead, because math is probably going to be what gets him into a good college. But if soccer was someone else's strength, why not focus on that, if the kid likes it and it may be a possible future advantage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

European here and, if you are OP, it wouldn't make sense for you to come here. We don't like whiners, and you sound like an American-sized one.

Like soccer? Take your kids. Don't like it? Don't take them. Zero need for blah blah and drama.

and Seriously... haven't you noticed all those good soccer players in Europe too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do people like about weekend soccer? I grew up in an unathletic family, so it's very foreign to me, though I know that some of my neighbors have signed their kids up for soccer since they were three years old. We've been much more laid back on extra curriculars thus far.

Is it really worth giving up our rare free Saturday mornings to join a league like Stoddert so my almost-six year old can stumble over a ball for a few hours? Am I a bad mom for saying no to the pressure to join the school's team?

If I asked my kid, I bet the answer would be "yes, I want to do it." But that's the answer to everything, when in reality, after the long school week, kid loves to stay in PJs and play with home toys until 10am. Not my idea of a fun time to struggle out the door one more day, dragging the toddler along, too. So if you do soccer, tell me, what's great about it?

You're not a bad mom necessarily, but certainly sound as one dumb woman.

NP here. What exactly makes the OP "dumb," PP? Is it because she's thoughtful? Because she questions something? Because she likes to spend time at the house relaxing with her child? Do you think she's dumb because she sounds genuine and intelligent?

I don't actually want to know what you think PP. But maybe you should go back to Baby Center.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So do soccer, or don't do soccer. I'm not going to analyze your life and decide if it's "worth it" or not. I don't even know you.

some people have no working brain.

+1. I don't get why there are hostile posts here to a normal question? Is there a sock puppet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I should move to Europe. You guys are clearly my people regarding sports. To an outsider it must look like Ameican parents are all trying to create little circus performers. The people I know who have always loved sports and encouraged their children in time-intensive sports are also generally very competitive about everything. They can turn the PTA into a competition, or the size of their house, or how many A's their child gets. Competitive sports is just a great way of getting routine affirmation if you are a very competitive person who needs it. This has nothing to do with people who run or swim or hike for exercise. If you really think you or your child does a competitive sport just for fun, imagine it without the scores or rankings. If you don't still want to do it, I don't think you're in it for the fun.

European here and, if you are OP, it wouldn't make sense for you to come here. We don't like whiners, and you sound like an American-sized one.

Like soccer? Take your kids. Don't like it? Don't take them. Zero need for blah blah and drama.

And you sound like an incredible bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor with a single mom who didn't have time or money to sign me up for anything extra curriculuar. I was a couch potato and overweight. Once I got to high school I couldn't have just joined a soccer team or tennis team if I wanted to as all the girls had been playing for years. It took me a long time to find friends in HS. If I had been in an activity, I think it would have helped me socially.

So my kids are in soccer (and a few other activities) to keep them active and to learn how to be part of a team. Also so that as they get older they have something they could do in HS if the wanted.

This is about the saddest reason to rationalize why to push kids into competitive sports at the age of 6. Sorry.

My daughter plays volleyball and crew in high school and didn't start until 9th grade. She has tried many sports here and there but I never was the pushy soccer mom. She did what she wanted. Some seasons she didn't do anything. Some years, she played the same sport 5 years in a row, could have made varsity, and then just went "meh, I rather do volleyball in high school."

OP, the world of DCUM is the pushy start your kids at competitive sports, tutors, and highest classes to fulfill them and make them happy. But that isn't what makes kids happy. It has to come within the child. Let them lead the way. If your child is happy in PJ's on Saturday morning and so are you, there is ZERO reason to start them yet. And honestly, soccer leagues are so lame. There are other things to look into and many that don't include eating up weekend time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an unathletic mom who didn't do any team sports until high school (although my siblings did swim team before the divorce.) We did Stoddert last year with two girls. I wanted my kids to learn about sports, team work, taking direction from a coach, get some exercise and have fun. I did not want them to end up uncoordinated and shunning team activities like I did.
We have a boat and like to go fishing, camping, visit friends out of town etc. DH was horrified I was "ruining our weekends" - the games start as early as 8:30 and as late at 1 pm.

How did it go? Was your spouse won over, or did it infringe on the weekend?