What are your weekday mornings like with a Middle Schooler?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
WOW.
Your kids are so independent.
There is no way my 5th grader would be able to get up, dress, eat, pack lunch and go to school by himself.
I didn't do that at his age either, so I don't expect it of him.

We both have inattentive ADHD, but come on. There must be *some* neurotypical middle schoolers who don't do it all in the morning either

It's not the kid who can't do it. It's thr parents who don't teach their kids how to do for themselves. They are not infants. They are actually pretty smart and capable.

I get it, some people enjoy doing these things, heck, I worked with a guy who was 24 and his mom still did his laundry. However, believe it or not, it makes them proud to be mature and do things for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

Lol! Whatever helps you feel adequate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

Um, I do cook my kid breakfast. Eggs, meat and cheese burritos, yogurt parfait, fresh fruit. Majority of middle schoolers at the very least do not have mommy cooking them breakfast. Do you drive your child to school still as well and wipe their poopy butt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

Um, I do cook my kid breakfast. Eggs, meat and cheese burritos, yogurt parfait, fresh fruit. Majority of middle schoolers at the very least do not have mommy cooking them breakfast. Do you drive your child to school still as well and wipe their poopy butt?

What's your point? Are you the ADHD pp who's kid puts sausage in the microwave? Who feeds her kid microwave food? Should I applaud you buying your kid crap food and then having him microwave it? My other part was an answer to other pp, but as for you, you might not be just ADHD and OCD, there might be more correct term for your illness.

[Anonymous]

I am really surprised at the responses.

My 2nd grader gets up on his own, takes a shower, gets dressed, & gets his breakfast. In total this takes him about 40 minutes.

I expect my pre-K kid to get dressed & brush her teeth on her own (doesn't always happen though).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys in 6th grade. I have to pry them out of bed, tell them to get themselves dressed 6 or 7 times, tell them to eat something several times, and make their lunches.

Some kids are much more capable than mine and I think girls this age are usually more mature and self-directing.

No, we have two girls and it's no different. I've come to the conclusion that it's a power thing. You want me to do this so I won't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

Um, I do cook my kid breakfast. Eggs, meat and cheese burritos, yogurt parfait, fresh fruit. Majority of middle schoolers at the very least do not have mommy cooking them breakfast. Do you drive your child to school still as well and wipe their poopy butt?

What's your point? Are you the ADHD pp who's kid puts sausage in the microwave? Who feeds her kid microwave food? Should I applaud you buying your kid crap food and then having him microwave it? My other part was an answer to other pp, but as for you, you might not be just ADHD and OCD, there might be more correct term for your illness.

Maybe you need some OCD so you can focus on reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really surprised at the responses.

My 2nd grader gets up on his own, takes a shower, gets dressed, & gets his breakfast. In total this takes him about 40 minutes.

I expect my pre-K kid to get dressed & brush her teeth on her own (doesn't always happen though).

These people probably still breastfeed their 6th graders as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a middle schooler, but I have a 4th grader who does for himself. I'm in Loudoun county so school starts at 730. 3 mornings a week I go to the gym and arrive home at 645. My son gets himself up via alarm, gets dressed.l, microwaves himself a sausage, egg and cheese breakfast burrito, eats it, brushes teeth and bikes himself a mile to school at 725.

We make the burritos Sunday nights and have them ready for the week. We make lunch the night before and make sure the backpack is packed.

I find it very strange that a middle schooler isn't already taking care of themselves in the morning. However, as a working mom, my kids have had to learn to do a lot on their own.

^^forgot to mention, my 4th grader is ADHD and unmedicated, as am i. We THRIVE on routine. He knows exactly what to do. We don't "wing" anything. That is why we do lunches and backpacks at night and do the breakfast meal prep. As a result of my ADD, I operate with lists and plan ahead so I know what I need to do and stay on task. This is how my son is learning to cope as well.

You sound OCD to me, but if you want to call it ADHD, that is more popular.

As for the question from other pp, no majority of kids don't do it on their own and many of these that do it on their own kids don't actually eat breakfast once they are in high school. It's your kid, take care of your kid. Make your kid lunch and breakfast, it is your duty as a parent. One day your kid will look back and say "mom used to make me such good breakfast, lunch etc, I will go visit for Thanksgiving." The other kid will say, "why would I go visit mom for Thanksgiving, so I can cook the turkey?" It has nothing to do with kids being independent or not, it has to do with parents caring.

My mom is not a morning person. As soon as we were big enough to get out our own bowls/milk/cereal, we were on our own in the a.m. And I don't recall ever feeling bad about that. She's a great cook, but only for dinner! And, I am happy to visit her for Thanksgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest is in Kingergarten and makes her own lunch the night before....

Why?

Not PP but why not? This responsibility and is VERY empowering. I'll ignore your snarky tone.

[Anonymous]

Going back to the original post. She will be able to do it on her own. Maybe at the beginning you will have to direct her a little. Try having her fix her lunch in the evening before she goes to bed. You going back to work is a big change for both of you. If you have the fortitude I would recommend getting up a bit early a couple of days so you can still visit and eat with her. This will help her and you feel connected still. She is getting bigger and can do a lot more on her own but I assure you she will still need you and your time although in different ways than before. Good luck with work and with your girl!

[Anonymous]

My kid has plenty of other struggles. If I can help him with his morning routine while he is 11, this is a good thing. He will learn to do these things eventually. It's not a race or a contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid has plenty of other struggles. If I can help him with his morning routine while he is 11, this is a good thing. He will learn to do these things eventually. It's not a race or a contest.

Or he will just get married and expect his wife to be his mommy like many of the infantile man children out there.

It is not about a race or a contest, it is about teaching your kids how to grow into responsible adults who have confidence in themselves. We start in life with small steps and by the time they are ready to leave the nest, they have life skills and emotional ability to do so. It's a slow roll to adulthood.