how do you figure out where to send your kid to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not a plant. I talked to a lot of parents. A lot of them. Clearly you had a bad experience and I believe you that it was bad. But things may have changed since your child was there. I also believe you that there are probably some lazy teachers. I did concentrate on talking to parents in the one grade where DC would have gone in to and come to think of it I think at least one if not both of them were relatively new.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We toured Harbor last school year and it looked like an absolutely wonderful place. We checked in with a lot of parents and they all gave rave reviews about the individual attention the kids get.

It's true that Harbor doesn't have any special curriculum or services for kids with ADHD, ASD, LDs etc. like at places like Lab, Auburn or Commonwealth.

However, they have teachers who take the time to learn about children's individual needs and implement plans that parents provide.

Many of the parents who send their SN kids to Harbor have private therapists anyway and from what we've heard the school has been very accommodating in putting any supports they recommend into the school day.

That's the biggest advantage over public school. In public school you have to fight to get them to do little things like let your kid fidget during circle time. They act like it's a lot of trouble for them. At Harbor they work with you to figure out a way to make this happen so that the child thrives. In the end it means happier kids who love to go to school.

They don't have a lot of kids who are SN but the ones that they do have are usually able to go to mainstream privates or public school classrooms after they graduate which says a lot to me.

You got all this from the TOUR? PP, you are full of sh*t. You also don't know anything about where the SN kids "end up." If the school told you this, that's bordering on breach of privacy and extremely unprofessional. Harbor teachers are in general lazy and don't implement anything for SN students. Seriously, are you a plant from the school faculty?

Lady, you are still full of it. You talked to parents cherry picked by the school. You are still talking out of your ass b/c your kid NEVER went there. (And don't you know how to quote in DCUM threads?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our charter has no problem providing fidgets (or chairs) during circle time. No fight for an IEP, either, as he clearly needed it.

However, no one told me to see a dev ped. Not his pediatrician, not the school counselor. Not the psychologist who did he psychoed eval.

But I did and it was quite useful. The Dev Ped was not very focused on diagnosis either, but gave useful advise and a report. It can't hurt. Children's takes insurance spit would t be expensive. Get on the list now--what do you have to lose except your co pay and a couple hours of your life?

Just as an FYI, LEGALLY, a public school CANNOT suggest to you to get your kid evaluated. Neither can ChildFind or EI.

I've met many parents over the years clinging to the belief that they didn't get their kid assessed b/c no one at the school/CF/EI told them their kid needed to be evaluated. The kids struggle unnecessarily with inadequate IEP while parents keep their heads in the sand.

I agree with you, getting the information is ultimately helpful. I'm glad your school's IEP didn't let your kid down. It always helps to be prepared.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why this is making you so angry. You should really think about this. I'm only responding because I think it's helpful for OP to have as much information as possible. Yup, I was clear my kid did not go there. I never asked the school to get me in touch with of the parents. I met a few through mutual friends and they introduced me to others and so forth.

Now go away. Please. I thought you just had a bad experience with the school and sympathized. But now I'm wondering if it's more than that. Do you have some sort of personal vendetta against whoever operates the school or some of the teachers?

Anonymous wrote:
Lady, you are still full of it. You talked to parents cherry picked by the school. You are still talking out of your ass b/c your kid NEVER went there. (And don't you know how to quote in DCUM threads?)

[Anonymous]

....but they flagged his very low muscle tone (core and hands) and motor planning challenges. He also has social anxiety and absolutely needs the same routine every morning for school drop off or else he melts down completely. He currently sees an OT once a week who comes to his school, and that has been helping him a lot, especially in his self-perception of his own abilities, which used to be quite poor.


OP - Your son is turning 5 in December and would easily meet the criteria for a full evaluation by a developmental pediatrician including and educational and psychological evaluation.Your pediatrician may or may not that experienced and skilled in evaluating a child who may have very subtle social-behavorial needs. Also, the backgrounds of those who work as generalists in EI programs and their personal experience in knowing young children can vary greatly. And I would caution that an OT's knowledge base as well as a PT or Speech Therapist can be very deep in their specific area, but not when looking across the wide spectrum of the various domains and deficits.

In my opinion, it would make much more sense to get a broad-based picture all at the same time of your DC as normed against typical peers. If you go through a comprehensive evaluation process, you would also be getting the input from more than one person - but rather a team - as far as I remember, but rather a development pediatrician, a psychologist, an educational evaluater, and specific therapeutic areas chosen for testing which sounds like PT and OT. The aspect of anxiety and diagnosis of how this might play into things is also important to get documented as early as possible. This information from a team approach could then be factored into what "you know" about your son and what others working with him so far have seen. It might be as simple as deciding to do another year of preschool in a certain setting which might even be at a charter or private school setting you would like him to attend to rule it in or rule it out. The more information you have can only assist in finding the right placement for him, and will help you to ask the right questions in seeing what various programs offer. Since the testing will be done privately, it does not necessarily need to be shared with any school division if you choose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why this is making you so angry. You should really think about this. I'm only responding because I think it's helpful for OP to have as much information as possible. Yup, I was clear my kid did not go there. I never asked the school to get me in touch with of the parents. I met a few through mutual friends and they introduced me to others and so forth.

Now go away. Please. I thought you just had a bad experience with the school and sympathized. But now I'm wondering if it's more than that. Do you have some sort of personal vendetta against whoever operates the school or some of the teachers?

Anonymous wrote:
Lady, you are still full of it. You talked to parents cherry picked by the school. You are still talking out of your ass b/c your kid NEVER went there. (And don't you know how to quote in DCUM threads?)

People who spout sanctimonious recommendations with zero actual experience are unhelpful and not the point of this board. You gave an elaborate description of a school b/c you "talked to a lot of parents."

Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Harbor seriously dodged a bullet that your kid didn't go there. You sound positively delightful.

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea why this is making you so angry. You should really think about this. I'm only responding because I think it's helpful for OP to have as much information as possible. Yup, I was clear my kid did not go there. I never asked the school to get me in touch with of the parents. I met a few through mutual friends and they introduced me to others and so forth.

Now go away. Please. I thought you just had a bad experience with the school and sympathized. But now I'm wondering if it's more than that. Do you have some sort of personal vendetta against whoever operates the school or some of the teachers?

Anonymous wrote:
Lady, you are still full of it. You talked to parents cherry picked by the school. You are still talking out of your ass b/c your kid NEVER went there. (And don't you know how to quote in DCUM threads?)

[Anonymous]

I think I know who you are PP and actually, shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whooa there PP. Stop judging.

Four is still young and OP sounds like she's doing a lot for her son already.

Some kids who have meltdowns at that age are perfectly fine later. Sometimes is is the environment.
Our own DC used to have a lot of rigidity in routine and would meltdown one to two times a week or so at drop off in preschool. Then we switched schools he almost melted down one morning because his routine was off and the teacher raised one eyebrow and said something neutral but firm to him and that was that. No more meltdowns in the mornings.

OP, a diagnosis can be useful because it provides a frame from which to look at certain behaviors and it can help with insurance and getting services in public schools, but it's by no means necessary if you already know where his challenges lie.

It sounds like he's young for his grade and in a mainstream religious private. Is this right? Have you tried to look at Junior K programs in the area? Those tend to be very nurturing and can often be very similar to pre-K but with more academics. That might give you more time to see if he grows out of his behaviors.

Good luck, OP. Thinking of you.

OP here. thank you for your note. my DS is actually "older" for his grade - he turns 5 in December and is in prek-4.

for the rest of the PPs who criticized me for not having DS evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, to get you off my back i will tell you this: DH and i had made an appointment at Kennedy Krieger for my DS a year ago and they asked for his ped's referral. i called his ped, who actually has a special interest in developmental differences and consults for schools like Kingsbury, and he said that he did not think that DS needed an evaluation but said we'd revisit every year. i trust our ped, as he clearly has more than his toe in the water regarding developmental issues. so, for now we try to find the right school for him and deal with his issues as they may arise as he grows older.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask for school recommendations from your knowledgable pediatrician who consults for Kingsbury?

Never heard of Kk asking for a ped's referral unless that is what your insurance asks for. Nor a pediatrician refusing to give one especially to a child who receives EI services.

[Anonymous]

OP, the suggestion to go see a developmental pediatrician is pretty standard around here. No need to take it personally -- no one is on your back.

It sounds like your ped has a good line on schools for kids with special needs so I agree with PP that you should ask him/her.