Kindergartener's clothes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about control issues! I didn't realize how many moms impose their clothing preferences on their school-aged sons. Scary.

BTW, for those who think dressing nicely at school is a sign of respect, I'd remind you that your son's behavior goes much further in that department than his clothes. When I volunteer in my child's class, I see plenty of disruptive and rude boys in collared shirts and athletic clothes, alike. Focus on the insides, not the outsides.

How is a preference a control issue.? We have all said get get that the athletic phase is coming but for now, while they still have no preference, we are allowing our preferences to prevail.
Further to that, none of us supporting collared shirts said that we think it makes our kids better behaved. Lastly all of us who mentioned still picking out kids clothes for them (with some input) are talking about kids no older than 1st grade.

So no one is imposing a dress code on a 10 year old and no one is saying clothes dictate behavior.
The prevailing argument on iur side has been this...we want our kids to look nice, they don't complain about what they are wearing so we are going to keep it up until they do. And when they do, that is not a hill we are going to die on.

The only thing I won't compromise on in hygiene. When he gets older he can wear what he wants as long as he is clean and his clothes are clean.

I wasn't talking about the moms whose kids who don't yet have a preference about their clothes. That completely makes sense to me. Pick out the clothes together and steer whichever way you want.

I was referring to the moms who said their kids would love to wear athletic clothes every day if they let them. Even in kindergarten or first grade, I know there are plenty of kids like that -- kids who have strong preferences about what they wear. Just like adults, some kids see their clothes as a way to express their personality or even just to be comfortable. My point is that those kids should be allowed to do so, even in kindergarten.

And yes, I know I'm specifically calling out the moms here. It's intentional -- I can't imagine any dads care whether or not their sons wear collared shirts and khakis to kindergarten. But maybe I'm wrong?

Can we at least acknowledge the fact that our children wanting to wear Frozen, Minions, Nike, or whatever clothing is due to the sheer marketing genius of companies like Disney and Nike? This whole "expressing their individuality" argument with respect to character shirts and athletic wear is a little funny.

[Anonymous]

Just today, my rising first grade son just asked for athletic wear! I love it. It's so comfy and easy to find pieces that don't have characters/verbiage on them. The only problem for us is that the sweatpants don't have adjustable waists for my string bean boys.

[Anonymous]

Where do all of these polo wearing boys live? My 7 y o attends a public FCPS school in Vienna. He dresses similar to all of his friends, athletic clothes most days and a pair of cargos occasionally. The bigger fight is that he wants to wear shorts every day of the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about control issues! I didn't realize how many moms impose their clothing preferences on their school-aged sons. Scary.

BTW, for those who think dressing nicely at school is a sign of respect, I'd remind you that your son's behavior goes much further in that department than his clothes. When I volunteer in my child's class, I see plenty of disruptive and rude boys in collared shirts and athletic clothes, alike. Focus on the insides, not the outsides.

How is a preference a control issue.? We have all said get get that the athletic phase is coming but for now, while they still have no preference, we are allowing our preferences to prevail.
Further to that, none of us supporting collared shirts said that we think it makes our kids better behaved. Lastly all of us who mentioned still picking out kids clothes for them (with some input) are talking about kids no older than 1st grade.

So no one is imposing a dress code on a 10 year old and no one is saying clothes dictate behavior.
The prevailing argument on iur side has been this...we want our kids to look nice, they don't complain about what they are wearing so we are going to keep it up until they do. And when they do, that is not a hill we are going to die on.

The only thing I won't compromise on in hygiene. When he gets older he can wear what he wants as long as he is clean and his clothes are clean.

I wasn't talking about the moms whose kids who don't yet have a preference about their clothes. That completely makes sense to me. Pick out the clothes together and steer whichever way you want.

I was referring to the moms who said their kids would love to wear athletic clothes every day if they let them. Even in kindergarten or first grade, I know there are plenty of kids like that -- kids who have strong preferences about what they wear. Just like adults, some kids see their clothes as a way to express their personality or even just to be comfortable. My point is that those kids should be allowed to do so, even in kindergarten.

And yes, I know I'm specifically calling out the moms here. It's intentional -- I can't imagine any dads care whether or not their sons wear collared shirts and khakis to kindergarten. But maybe I'm wrong?

Can we at least acknowledge the fact that our children wanting to wear Frozen, Minions, Nike, or whatever clothing is due to the sheer marketing genius of companies like Disney and Nike? This whole "expressing their individuality" argument with respect to character shirts and athletic wear is a little funny.

I'm the PP, and I intentionally did not say "express their individuality". I said "express their personality," because I recognize exactly what you are pointing out about marketing. Nothing about these clothes is "individual" or unique.

That said, they are still an expression of a child's preferences or comfort, which are not necessarily a mirror or extension of his mother's.

Even a 5 yo is perfectly capable of choosing a Minions or Nike shirt because he likes it better than a collared polo shirt. It may be because he thinks it's more comfortable, more fun, more like what his friends are wearing, or just a reminder of his favorite movie or sport, which makes him happy while at school.

Sure, it might not make you happy to look at him when he's wearing the clothes he prefers. But your child is not you. He's a separate person, and he may indeed have different preferences than you would like to choose for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about control issues! I didn't realize how many moms impose their clothing preferences on their school-aged sons. Scary.

BTW, for those who think dressing nicely at school is a sign of respect, I'd remind you that your son's behavior goes much further in that department than his clothes. When I volunteer in my child's class, I see plenty of disruptive and rude boys in collared shirts and athletic clothes, alike. Focus on the insides, not the outsides.

How is a preference a control issue.? We have all said get get that the athletic phase is coming but for now, while they still have no preference, we are allowing our preferences to prevail.
Further to that, none of us supporting collared shirts said that we think it makes our kids better behaved. Lastly all of us who mentioned still picking out kids clothes for them (with some input) are talking about kids no older than 1st grade.

So no one is imposing a dress code on a 10 year old and no one is saying clothes dictate behavior.
The prevailing argument on iur side has been this...we want our kids to look nice, they don't complain about what they are wearing so we are going to keep it up until they do. And when they do, that is not a hill we are going to die on.

The only thing I won't compromise on in hygiene. When he gets older he can wear what he wants as long as he is clean and his clothes are clean.

I wasn't talking about the moms whose kids who don't yet have a preference about their clothes. That completely makes sense to me. Pick out the clothes together and steer whichever way you want.

I was referring to the moms who said their kids would love to wear athletic clothes every day if they let them. Even in kindergarten or first grade, I know there are plenty of kids like that -- kids who have strong preferences about what they wear. Just like adults, some kids see their clothes as a way to express their personality or even just to be comfortable. My point is that those kids should be allowed to do so, even in kindergarten.

And yes, I know I'm specifically calling out the moms here. It's intentional -- I can't imagine any dads care whether or not their sons wear collared shirts and khakis to kindergarten. But maybe I'm wrong?

Can we at least acknowledge the fact that our children wanting to wear Frozen, Minions, Nike, or whatever clothing is due to the sheer marketing genius of companies like Disney and Nike? This whole "expressing their individuality" argument with respect to character shirts and athletic wear is a little funny.

I'm the PP, and I intentionally did not say "express their individuality". I said "express their personality," because I recognize exactly what you are pointing out about marketing. Nothing about these clothes is "individual" or unique.

That said, they are still an expression of a child's preferences or comfort, which are not necessarily a mirror or extension of his mother's.

Even a 5 yo is perfectly capable of choosing a Minions or Nike shirt because he likes it better than a collared polo shirt. It may be because he thinks it's more comfortable, more fun, more like what his friends are wearing, or just a reminder of his favorite movie or sport, which makes him happy while at school.

Sure, it might not make you happy to look at him when he's wearing the clothes he prefers. But your child is not you. He's a separate person, and he may indeed have different preferences than you would like to choose for him.

I guess we just have different philosophies. I personally think it is OK for kids to be taught that different occasions dictate different types of clothing choices. They can freely express their personality through clothing at home, at the park, on weekends, etc - just like I do. I don't run around freely "expressing my personality" through my clothing choices at work - I am limited by what is most suitable for that environment. Am I really the only one that grew up attending a school with a dress code? Growing up, our school dress code prohibited so many of the items I see children wearing to school today. I am not heavy-handed about it, and they often wear clothes that I would not have selected to school, but I try to teach them track pants belong on the track/in the park/at soccer practice, swimsuits at the pool, suits for weddings/special occasions, etc. Yes, this is conventional and old-fashioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about control issues! I didn't realize how many moms impose their clothing preferences on their school-aged sons. Scary.

BTW, for those who think dressing nicely at school is a sign of respect, I'd remind you that your son's behavior goes much further in that department than his clothes. When I volunteer in my child's class, I see plenty of disruptive and rude boys in collared shirts and athletic clothes, alike. Focus on the insides, not the outsides.

How is a preference a control issue.? We have all said get get that the athletic phase is coming but for now, while they still have no preference, we are allowing our preferences to prevail.
Further to that, none of us supporting collared shirts said that we think it makes our kids better behaved. Lastly all of us who mentioned still picking out kids clothes for them (with some input) are talking about kids no older than 1st grade.

So no one is imposing a dress code on a 10 year old and no one is saying clothes dictate behavior.
The prevailing argument on iur side has been this...we want our kids to look nice, they don't complain about what they are wearing so we are going to keep it up until they do. And when they do, that is not a hill we are going to die on.

The only thing I won't compromise on in hygiene. When he gets older he can wear what he wants as long as he is clean and his clothes are clean.

I wasn't talking about the moms whose kids who don't yet have a preference about their clothes. That completely makes sense to me. Pick out the clothes together and steer whichever way you want.

I was referring to the moms who said their kids would love to wear athletic clothes every day if they let them. Even in kindergarten or first grade, I know there are plenty of kids like that -- kids who have strong preferences about what they wear. Just like adults, some kids see their clothes as a way to express their personality or even just to be comfortable. My point is that those kids should be allowed to do so, even in kindergarten.

And yes, I know I'm specifically calling out the moms here. It's intentional -- I can't imagine any dads care whether or not their sons wear collared shirts and khakis to kindergarten. But maybe I'm wrong?

Can we at least acknowledge the fact that our children wanting to wear Frozen, Minions, Nike, or whatever clothing is due to the sheer marketing genius of companies like Disney and Nike? This whole "expressing their individuality" argument with respect to character shirts and athletic wear is a little funny.

I'm the PP, and I intentionally did not say "express their individuality". I said "express their personality," because I recognize exactly what you are pointing out about marketing. Nothing about these clothes is "individual" or unique.

That said, they are still an expression of a child's preferences or comfort, which are not necessarily a mirror or extension of his mother's.

Even a 5 yo is perfectly capable of choosing a Minions or Nike shirt because he likes it better than a collared polo shirt. It may be because he thinks it's more comfortable, more fun, more like what his friends are wearing, or just a reminder of his favorite movie or sport, which makes him happy while at school.

Sure, it might not make you happy to look at him when he's wearing the clothes he prefers. But your child is not you. He's a separate person, and he may indeed have different preferences than you would like to choose for him.

I guess we just have different philosophies. I personally think it is OK for kids to be taught that different occasions dictate different types of clothing choices. They can freely express their personality through clothing at home, at the park, on weekends, etc - just like I do. I don't run around freely "expressing my personality" through my clothing choices at work - I am limited by what is most suitable for that environment. Am I really the only one that grew up attending a school with a dress code? Growing up, our school dress code prohibited so many of the items I see children wearing to school today. I am not heavy-handed about it, and they often wear clothes that I would not have selected to school, but I try to teach them track pants belong on the track/in the park/at soccer practice, swimsuits at the pool, suits for weddings/special occasions, etc. Yes, this is conventional and old-fashioned.

Yes, a generation ago your school's dress code may have prohibited some of the clothes kids regularly wear to school now. And a generation before that, dress codes required that all girls wore skirts to school.

Times change. School dress codes change, too.

No one is suggesting that children wear clothes to school that violate the dress code or even the conventional norms of the classroom. What your child would prefer to wear to school is indeed appropriate for his school.

Just as in your office, there is a range of acceptable clothing choices at school. And you do express your personality through your work clothes. You choose the colors and styles. You choose how far to go on the "comfort" scale and also on the formal vs. casual scale, all within the accepted range of options for your work environment.

My point is only that you are artificially impacting the way your child dresses at school. You are imposing YOUR ideas about what is appropriate in that environment, not teaching him to follow the universally accepted social norms (bathing suits only at the pool/beach, nicer clothes at weddings and church etc.)

Given how many hours your child spends at school, and also that it's likely the one environment he goes where you are NOT present most of the time, I'm surprised your not giving him more independence.

[Anonymous]

Dress him in it now because 95% of boys will be wearing 100% under armour by second grade. My son was dressed to the nines in polos and sweaters and cords until he wasn't. I would never dream of forcing that stuff on him now, he'd be completely out of it. I like it that he's running the ball outside at recess and playing hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk about control issues! I didn't realize how many moms impose their clothing preferences on their school-aged sons. Scary.

BTW, for those who think dressing nicely at school is a sign of respect, I'd remind you that your son's behavior goes much further in that department than his clothes. When I volunteer in my child's class, I see plenty of disruptive and rude boys in collared shirts and athletic clothes, alike. Focus on the insides, not the outsides.

How is a preference a control issue.? We have all said get get that the athletic phase is coming but for now, while they still have no preference, we are allowing our preferences to prevail.
Further to that, none of us supporting collared shirts said that we think it makes our kids better behaved. Lastly all of us who mentioned still picking out kids clothes for them (with some input) are talking about kids no older than 1st grade.

So no one is imposing a dress code on a 10 year old and no one is saying clothes dictate behavior.
The prevailing argument on iur side has been this...we want our kids to look nice, they don't complain about what they are wearing so we are going to keep it up until they do. And when they do, that is not a hill we are going to die on.

The only thing I won't compromise on in hygiene. When he gets older he can wear what he wants as long as he is clean and his clothes are clean.

I wasn't talking about the moms whose kids who don't yet have a preference about their clothes. That completely makes sense to me. Pick out the clothes together and steer whichever way you want.

I was referring to the moms who said their kids would love to wear athletic clothes every day if they let them. Even in kindergarten or first grade, I know there are plenty of kids like that -- kids who have strong preferences about what they wear. Just like adults, some kids see their clothes as a way to express their personality or even just to be comfortable. My point is that those kids should be allowed to do so, even in kindergarten.

And yes, I know I'm specifically calling out the moms here. It's intentional -- I can't imagine any dads care whether or not their sons wear collared shirts and khakis to kindergarten. But maybe I'm wrong?

Can we at least acknowledge the fact that our children wanting to wear Frozen, Minions, Nike, or whatever clothing is due to the sheer marketing genius of companies like Disney and Nike? This whole "expressing their individuality" argument with respect to character shirts and athletic wear is a little funny.

I'm the PP, and I intentionally did not say "express their individuality". I said "express their personality," because I recognize exactly what you are pointing out about marketing. Nothing about these clothes is "individual" or unique.

That said, they are still an expression of a child's preferences or comfort, which are not necessarily a mirror or extension of his mother's.

Even a 5 yo is perfectly capable of choosing a Minions or Nike shirt because he likes it better than a collared polo shirt. It may be because he thinks it's more comfortable, more fun, more like what his friends are wearing, or just a reminder of his favorite movie or sport, which makes him happy while at school.

Sure, it might not make you happy to look at him when he's wearing the clothes he prefers. But your child is not you. He's a separate person, and he may indeed have different preferences than you would like to choose for him.

I guess we just have different philosophies. I personally think it is OK for kids to be taught that different occasions dictate different types of clothing choices. They can freely express their personality through clothing at home, at the park, on weekends, etc - just like I do. I don't run around freely "expressing my personality" through my clothing choices at work - I am limited by what is most suitable for that environment. Am I really the only one that grew up attending a school with a dress code? Growing up, our school dress code prohibited so many of the items I see children wearing to school today. I am not heavy-handed about it, and they often wear clothes that I would not have selected to school, but I try to teach them track pants belong on the track/in the park/at soccer practice, swimsuits at the pool, suits for weddings/special occasions, etc. Yes, this is conventional and old-fashioned.

Yes, a generation ago your school's dress code may have prohibited some of the clothes kids regularly wear to school now. And a generation before that, dress codes required that all girls wore skirts to school.

Times change. School dress codes change, too.

No one is suggesting that children wear clothes to school that violate the dress code or even the conventional norms of the classroom. What your child would prefer to wear to school is indeed appropriate for his school.

Just as in your office, there is a range of acceptable clothing choices at school. And you do express your personality through your work clothes. You choose the colors and styles. You choose how far to go on the "comfort" scale and also on the formal vs. casual scale, all within the accepted range of options for your work environment.

My point is only that you are artificially impacting the way your child dresses at school. You are imposing YOUR ideas about what is appropriate in that environment, not teaching him to follow the universally accepted social norms (bathing suits only at the pool/beach, nicer clothes at weddings and church etc.)

Given how many hours your child spends at school, and also that it's likely the one environment he goes where you are NOT present most of the time, I'm surprised your not giving him more independence.

Ok, I think we will just have to agree to disagree on what we think is in the range of appropriate for school attire. I do not at all deny that I am artificially impacting the way my child dresses at school - of course I am! As parents, it is only natural that we model our own preferences for big/important things like values and ethics, to far less important things like our household standards for maintaining a clean house, the types of food items that fill our fridge, the frequency with which we eat dinner together as a family, what is an appropriate amount of screen time, and yes, how we dress. We fully respect that other families do things differently. My son is a rising 1st grader and I recognize that I will not be able influence his clothing choices for much longer, but I am fully enjoying it while I can.