New STA parent seeking advice, suggestions, or just plain "I wish I had known X" info

[Anonymous]

New C Form family here. Head through the grapevine that the first day is jarring, particularly for the Beauvoir alums, where it is quickly established that you aren't in Kansas anymore. What, actually, happens that first day?

[Anonymous]

Experience of an aquaintance who graduated within a few years: top in K-8, known as genius, graduated STA, went to top Ivy. But in between, parents felt frustration that the school tried to "break" him (not him personally, but the students) by overwhelming them with huge amounts of work in 9th and especially 10th - work that could not possibly be completed. So, to continue the "good in, good out" theme, that sounds about right from this case, but it is the in-between that concerned me. We made a different choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, what's the best way to "lablel the jacket"? Magic marker?

Get a light colored sharpie and write the last name on the inside. Label everything. Buy used clothes at the clothing exchange -- open on 9-8. First week fun -- have your little guys invite classmates and take them to the football game sat afternoon. They can buy food, t-shirts, watch game, and bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experience of an aquaintance who graduated within a few years: top in K-8, known as genius, graduated STA, went to top Ivy. But in between, parents felt frustration that the school tried to "break" him (not him personally, but the students) by overwhelming them with huge amounts of work in 9th and especially 10th - work that could not possibly be completed. So, to continue the "good in, good out" theme, that sounds about right from this case, but it is the in-between that concerned me. We made a different choice.

But tons of homework is typical of top DC schools. If you don't want it, you pretty much have to go down a tier.

[Anonymous]

Our DS is entering the C Form. Recently, we were set up on a play date with a number of other entering C Formers, all of whom graduated Beauvoir. DS has gone the public school route. Both DS and I were a bit intimated by these boys. They all seem so athletic and polished and ultra preppy in dress and mannerisms. Mind you, we are hardly from the other side of the tracks, but still . . . . Any similar first impression out there? Do things get better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is entering the C Form. Recently, we were set up on a play date with a number of other entering C Formers, all of whom graduated Beauvoir. DS has gone the public school route. Both DS and I were a bit intimated by these boys. They all seem so athletic and polished and ultra preppy in dress and mannerisms. Mind you, we are hardly from the other side of the tracks, but still . . . . Any similar first impression out there? Do things get better?

PP, it's always hard to be the 'man out'. Within a few weeks, the Beauvoir/non-Beauvoir distinctions seem to fade.
I wouldn't worry about the preppy culture/manners. I can't imagine 9 year olds are all that different. Anyway, STA has a way of instilling its own culture (standing up when a grown up enters the room, in conversation with adults, etc). They'll all get it at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our DS is entering the C Form. Recently, we were set up on a play date with a number of other entering C Formers, all of whom graduated Beauvoir. DS has gone the public school route. Both DS and I were a bit intimated by these boys. They all seem so athletic and polished and ultra preppy in dress and mannerisms. Mind you, we are hardly from the other side of the tracks, but still . . . . Any similar first impression out there? Do things get better?

PP, it's always hard to be the 'man out'. Within a few weeks, the Beauvoir/non-Beauvoir distinctions seem to fade.
I wouldn't worry about the preppy culture/manners. I can't imagine 9 year olds are all that different. Anyway, STA has a way of instilling its own culture (standing up when a grown up enters the room, in conversation with adults, etc). They'll all get it at some point.

Interesting tidbit about standing up when a grown up enters the room - how/when do they teach that?

[Anonymous]

Standing up when someone enters the room is SOP in any world. As someone who teaches etiquette to the corporate world, you would not believe the manners young adults have today even if they come from high socio-economic backgrounds. Just one advantage a number of private schools offer, along with shaking hands, introductions and looking people in the eye.

At my son's previous private school, no one ever introduced themselves (esp. the administration) and you were all left to wonder just to whom you were talking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Filenes basement or sears for blazers if you arent running with the country club set.

The true country club set, as opposed to the nouveau crowd, go to the consignment stores and student exchange.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had known my DS better - he is not an athlete and not a "boys' boy." I'm not saying he is bullied, because he is not. But being around these athletic "boys' boy" has left him a victim of sorts, losing any semblance of self-confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had known my DS better - he is not an athlete and not a "boys' boy." I'm not saying he is bullied, because he is not. But being around these athletic "boys' boy" has left him a victim of sorts, losing any semblance of self-confidence.

Oh this makes me sad. Is there something that he enjoys doing and excels in that he can do to build his self confidence? Hang in there - I'm sure he will develop his own sense of self in time. It amazes me to watch my son in different environments and see how he can be so confident in one situation and so quiet and shy in another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had known my DS better - he is not an athlete and not a "boys' boy." I'm not saying he is bullied, because he is not. But being around these athletic "boys' boy" has left him a victim of sorts, losing any semblance of self-confidence.

We are considering St A for next year. My DS is generally athletic but doesn't play lacrosse or football. Is he likely to feel the same way? How else does the boys' boy culture manifest itself?

[Anonymous]

After the completion of the first semester, I can say I wish I had known that the stereotypical WASPy STA family is just that, a stereotype. I spent the better part of a year (since admission) worrying that our mixed race, not uber-wealthy, family would fit in. I found more often than not families were not unlike us in one way or the other, and that even the WASPY STA families welcomed us - more importantly DS - with open arms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After the completion of the first semester, I can say I wish I had known that the stereotypical WASPy STA family is just that, a stereotype. I spent the better part of a year (since admission) worrying that our mixed race, not uber-wealthy, family would fit in. I found more often than not families were not unlike us in one way or the other, and that even the WASPY STA families welcomed us - more importantly DS - with open arms.

I wish I had known how harsh the women teachers can be.

[Anonymous]

I wish I had known that the bartenders at those school events are very generous with their pours. I had a vodka tonic at last night's event. I ended up making a pass at my son's teacher. Report cards arrived today, so I do not think it possible that this had anything to do with my son's A . . .