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+1 I'm the PP who recalled how an AAP kid told my DC that he could be in AAP if only he would "grow a bigger brain and try harder". Nice. These two used to be good friends, but not so much anymore. |
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I know I've read you commenting about this more than once and didn't this happen a long time ago? |
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If your neighbor with AAP kids really do want to keep their kids together with their siblings and neighborhood friends they have that option to keep their kids at the base school. But they didn't so they might not feel as passionately about the subject as you do or as they lead you to believe.
As for the neighborhood kids remaining best buddies, that likely would not have occured even if the kids stayed at the same school. It is very natural and normal for children's friendships to change around 2nd-6th grade. At that age, they go from friendships that are mostly about proximity and accesibility (ie parent compatibility and friendship) to friendships that are more true and are based on shared interests and compatible personalities. This happens with all kids and likely would have happened to your daughter and the neighborhood friends, whether or not anyone went to AAP. It is a natural part of tween friendship and helps them to form more mature relationships. You just associate it with AAP because it all happened about the same time. |
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This was the second time I referred to this incident. And no, it didn't happen a long time ago; more like last year. |
While it may be "natural and normal for children's friendships to change" during elementary school, AAP speeds the process along with its segregated classes and centers. If the kids were all in the same school and/or classes, there wouldn't be such a stark division of friendships, and kids would be much more likely to retain old friends along the way. |
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I feel the kids who put others down like that are just badly raised kids, AAP or otherwise. If they weren't in AAP, they would find something else to put other kids down. My kids are in AAP, and we're Asian. They have always been picked on by this group of 3 non Asian, non AAP kids at their center school for their cultural differences. They made fun of my kids' ethnic lunches. When grandparents were visiting from abroad I took them to school for an event my kids were participating in and DCs told me later that these kids mocked them because the grandparents didn't speak fluent English, calling them illiterate (they both have science degrees). These kids have also referred to my kids as cattle, because we are vegetarian. These kids are from extremely affluent families. We, our neighborhood, and base school are humble in comparison. In this case, the superior attitude is due to social and cultural differences. I wasn't surprised when I found out who those kids were: one of the fathers is the most obnoxious loudmouth I've ever come across. The fruit doesn't fall very far from the tree.
I have raised my kids to respect everyone irrespective of their differences and their friends are the same (both AAP and non). I don't believe it is AAP. It's just the kids and their upbringing. |
You eo not know that. Besides, if they were all at the base school but in a single local level IV class from third through sixth, it would be far worse of a situation. Why don't you let go and move on? Teach your kid resiliance instead of a victim mindset. Friendships wax, wane, evolve and end due to all kinds of outside influences. Use this as an opportunity to help your own kid grow stronger and more confident. Stewing about it and attacking not only your neighborhood kids but also tue thousands of normal, wonderful and kind kids who just happen to be in AAP is not healthy and is not good for you or your daughter. |
| PP. Your comments are really mean and kin to the disrespectful behaviors non-AAP kids are having to deal with from many of their AAP kid peers and neighbors. It happens a lot and it seems you are blind to it. Thank you if you are teaching your children respect and acceptance but many others are not. However, I have a hard time believing you are when you are telling the PP to basically get over it and move. This is not respect and tolerance. I have seen the behaviors OP is speaking about, my children have been targeted by it, my children have lost friends because of it. And honestly it is not the children it is the parents who are teaching this by leading their children to believe they are superior, smarter, etc... While most rational adults know this is just not true. Yes there are a small percentage of very "smart" kids in AAP and also GE. So for parents to teach their children this elevated sense of reality is a very disturbing behavior. When reality hits the fan and precious gets looked over for that favorite university, first job, or, promotion, what are mommy and daddy going to do then - what are these children going to do then? |
What good does it do for her to anger and stew over a third grade placement decision for someone else's kids, thousands of whom she has never met, and attack these people, their integrity and their kids? It is normal to feel disappointed perhaps at first, hurt if someone says or does something mean, but then the rational and healthy thing is to get over it. This disappointment she is experience is just a blip on her child's radar, unless mom chooses to draw it out and make it more than it needs to be. And if you really knew thousands of parent with kids in AAP well enough to speak to their character, you would know that the vast majority of them are parents just like you who want the best for their kids and who are trying to help their kids become successful, productive adults. Look at your own words, especially the bolded part. That is good lesson for all of the parents and kids to learn, not just the kids placed in AAP by fcps, but also the kids who did not qualify for the program. Look at your own reaction to your child (I am not going to disparage a kid with the snide term that you used) "gets looked over" for AAP? You are showing your child by your behavior and your words exactly "what mommy and daddy are going to do then". There are nice kids in AAP and not nice kids in AAP, just the same as any class in any school in this country. The only difference here is that a bunch of adults who are bitterly disappointed that their child did not get what they wanted, and angry that someone else's child did, and so they feel it gives them the right to hold onto the anger for years and attack someone else's children over and over. Yes, I am saying you should get over the anger. It is not good for you and it is not good for your child. |
| Wow. As I said it is not the kids but the parents hum...like you...that are causing/fueling the better than thou attitudes coning fron...yes... the AAP kids. Can't blame the kids - kids learn by example and believe what their parents tell them. |
BTW, I also said that I am very happy our neiborhood school is not a center school. No need for an elementary school AAP program for my child to be successfuk and brilliant! You seen to be the one with anger issues. I am happy no anger or dissapointment here that will only come if they try to make our school a center. |