My 17 yo son's community service trip to Africa was cancelled. Need a solid backup. Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:whenever someone posts in this thread "well, it's a great experience for the kids/they learn and grow etc", I'm hearing "my kid's ~personal growth is more important to me than the people in the communities he's going to "help"", which makes me furious but I guess is par for the course in DC

Who cares what makes you furious? I sure don't. Especially as it relates to my child.

Expecting a 17 year old to do anything other than grow personally is ridiculous. A person needs to focus on growing fully before you can expect them to give to anyone else.

Let the ADULTS go make a difference in the lives of those in those communities. My child needs to grow up and seeing/"helping" in distressed areas can help him do that. Heck, just seeing the depressed areas can help.

And let's not underestimate whatever contributions the child may or may not be making. Frankly I don't think the motive matters. If a 17 year old helps dig a well in a village to help pad his resume, so what? The village has a well and my child has a great experience and resume pad. Life can be win-win sometimes, you know?

so you don't have any qualms about basically using people in under developed countries to help your kid grow up? About the damage your kid's ~emotional journey will do to the people he is supposedly serving and their economy? About the message you're sending your kids about the white savior industrial complex and your place in upholding and reinforcing it?

How about my child is BLACK and has been on many service projects in other countries.

Perhaps you should've had the opportunity to do so. Then maybe you'd know what you're talking about.

And YES my child's emotional journey and growth mean more to me than anyone else's.

Why do you even care what anybody thinks here? Shake it off and kiss the BS good-bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:whenever someone posts in this thread "well, it's a great experience for the kids/they learn and grow etc", I'm hearing "my kid's ~personal growth is more important to me than the people in the communities he's going to "help"", which makes me furious but I guess is par for the course in DC

Who cares what makes you furious? I sure don't. Especially as it relates to my child.

Expecting a 17 year old to do anything other than grow personally is ridiculous. A person needs to focus on growing fully before you can expect them to give to anyone else.

Let the ADULTS go make a difference in the lives of those in those communities. My child needs to grow up and seeing/"helping" in distressed areas can help him do that. Heck, just seeing the depressed areas can help.

And let's not underestimate whatever contributions the child may or may not be making. Frankly I don't think the motive matters. If a 17 year old helps dig a well in a village to help pad his resume, so what? The village has a well and my child has a great experience and resume pad. Life can be win-win sometimes, you know?

so you don't have any qualms about basically using people in under developed countries to help your kid grow up? About the damage your kid's ~emotional journey will do to the people he is supposedly serving and their economy? About the message you're sending your kids about the white savior industrial complex and your place in upholding and reinforcing it?

How about my child is BLACK and has been on many service projects in other countries.

Perhaps you should've had the opportunity to do so. Then maybe you'd know what you're talking about.

And YES my child's emotional journey and growth mean more to me than anyone else's.

At least you're honest about selfishly (in an understandable way) placing your child's growth ahead of the welfare of those in underdeveloped countries. Most of us probably feel the same way deep down. But that doesn't make it right and you shouldn't be offended when someone calls you on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters. Experiencing another culture, seeing another part of the world, and the hearing the perspective of people who have lived very different lives are all great experiences.

I hope you find something for him OP.

Yes, you can join the military, the peace corps, the diplomatic service to get all that great experience and it will not cost you a dime!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters. Experiencing another culture, seeing another part of the world, and the hearing the perspective of people who have lived very different lives are all great experiences.

I hope you find something for him OP.

Yes, you can join the military, the peace corps, the diplomatic service to get all that great experience and it will not cost you a dime!

If I read correctly, He's 16 and looking for a way to spend a few weeks. Pay attention people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Or just really trying to feel better about the fact that her child will never have those opportunities of a lifetime. There's some real insecurity in her posts. I've never heard of anyone going off the deep end about kids helping out in other countries.

Except for the part where the kids are not actually helping out.

If your main goal is helping out, the best way to achieve this is to send money to a reputable organization.

[Anonymous]

OP, most of these people get shots before they head to the Outer Banks. Every. Single. Year. They're the same ones that start threads like "Why would anyone want to go to another country?"

There are a lot of programs that offer teens an opportunity to see the world and interact closely with locals. I hope you find one that works for him. I'm sure he was extremely disappointed, and I applaud him for wanting to see the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ivy interviewer here. Foreign volunteer trips just signal wealthy parents.
We are most impressed with projects that kids organize themselves, wherever they may take place.


I'm also an economist. Developing countries don't need more unskilled labor. However, if the wealthy kids bring construction supplies with them, those are needed.

Foreign volunteer trips signal wealthy parents? Well, then you need to climb down from your ivy tower. I've been chaperoning foreign volunteer trips for years. Your head will spin at the number of students from middle class families who go on those trips because 1) their parents are willing to sacrifice to give their kids exposure and 2) payment plans that allow those families to pay in installments.

And who cares why the kid is going? At 17 we can't expect him to be completely selfless. At that age he needs the trip so he can grow up, become familiar with the world, aware of other cultures, and if he happens to grow an altruistic bone because of it, good for us all! If not, you know what that makes him? A TEENAGER!

So you are not completely unbiased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these people get shots before they head to the Outer Banks. Every. Single. Year. They're the same ones that start threads like "Why would anyone want to go to another country?"

There are a lot of programs that offer teens an opportunity to see the world and interact closely with locals. I hope you find one that works for him. I'm sure he was extremely disappointed, and I applaud him for wanting to see the world.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
How is it 'using' people? The kid is helping them out...

No, the kid is not. The kid is maybe doing some small task, very poorly, but mostly the kid is spending money that could go to actual useful projects that won't get funding because parents want their kids to have an experience that will supposedly be broadening.

I know people who tried chaperoning a church's service trip. The kids were entitled jerks before they went, they were useless on the trip, and they were smug afterwards. No, those kids aren't representative of every teenager who does this, but they're not the only ones, either.

http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2014/04/29/can-voluntourism-make-a-difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:whenever someone posts in this thread "well, it's a great experience for the kids/they learn and grow etc", I'm hearing "my kid's ~personal growth is more important to me than the people in the communities he's going to "help"", which makes me furious but I guess is par for the course in DC

Who cares what makes you furious? I sure don't. Especially as it relates to my child.

Expecting a 17 year old to do anything other than grow personally is ridiculous. A person needs to focus on growing fully before you can expect them to give to anyone else.

Let the ADULTS go make a difference in the lives of those in those communities. My child needs to grow up and seeing/"helping" in distressed areas can help him do that. Heck, just seeing the depressed areas can help.

And let's not underestimate whatever contributions the child may or may not be making. Frankly I don't think the motive matters. If a 17 year old helps dig a well in a village to help pad his resume, so what? The village has a well and my child has a great experience and resume pad. Life can be win-win sometimes, you know?

so you don't have any qualms about basically using people in under developed countries to help your kid grow up? About the damage your kid's ~emotional journey will do to the people he is supposedly serving and their economy? About the message you're sending your kids about the white savior industrial complex and your place in upholding and reinforcing it?

How about my child is BLACK and has been on many service projects in other countries.

Perhaps you should've had the opportunity to do so. Then maybe you'd know what you're talking about.

And YES my child's emotional journey and growth mean more to me than anyone else's.

At least you're honest about selfishly (in an understandable way) placing your child's growth ahead of the welfare of those in underdeveloped countries. Most of us probably feel the same way deep down. But that doesn't make it right and you shouldn't be offended when someone calls you on it.

It is ABSOLUTELY right! If you don't feel this way, you are in the wrong here and failing as a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At least you're honest about selfishly (in an understandable way) placing your child's growth ahead of the welfare of those in underdeveloped countries. Most of us probably feel the same way deep down. But that doesn't make it right and you shouldn't be offended when someone calls you on it.

It is ABSOLUTELY right! If you don't feel this way, you are in the wrong here and failing as a parent.

If I'm failing as a parent unless I have a "I've got mine, who cares about yours" philosophy about my children, then I'll take the failure, thanks..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
At least you're honest about selfishly (in an understandable way) placing your child's growth ahead of the welfare of those in underdeveloped countries. Most of us probably feel the same way deep down. But that doesn't make it right and you shouldn't be offended when someone calls you on it.

It is ABSOLUTELY right! If you don't feel this way, you are in the wrong here and failing as a parent.

If I'm failing as a parent unless I have a "I've got mine, who cares about yours" philosophy about my children, then I'll take the failure, thanks..

NP here who thinks you should continue to parent your children as you see fit and allow others to do the same. But as a parent your own child's well-being should be your first concern. FWIW I see absolutely nothing wrong with allowing one's child to participate in a service trip.