How many of you still talk to your exes?

[Anonymous]

36, married. I am good friends with one ex - we were friends before we dated, it didn't work out romantically but we stayed friends and were colleagues for many years after. We still work in the same industry and talk 1-2 times per week by text, maybe once a month on the phone, and when we're in the same city we have dinner. He is also married to a gorgeous and kind woman who I am friendly with but not close. DH likes him, we go on double dates with his wife when we're all in the same place and occasionally host them at our lake house. If DH were uncomfortable I would respect his wishes, but he knows that my ex is no threat.

I think if you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being in the room/at the table/reading the texts, you've crossed a line.

[Anonymous]

Both my husband and I are friendly with exes. It’s no big deal because we both realize how lucky we are!

[Anonymous]

I’m not friends with any of my ex’s. All relationships except one were intense and involved them being jerks. Leaving me after already cheating. One tried to keep in touch on social media, but my H got jealous. I don’t know if that means we care more or not. I’d like to keep in touch but honestly it feels too intense like we would sleep together. The first ex who we did keep in touch we both lost touch over the years after being friendly for a while. He got married and so did I and that seemed to end the friendship.

[Anonymous]

HS GF - first person I ever had feelings for. When she had a family tragedy, reached out but other than FB friends, no contact.

College GF - cheated on me and generally self-centered human being so no contact but every few years she reaches out and I ignore her.

After college GF - fell in love with her but was not in a good place in my life. Ended badly and no contact.

After MBA GF - talk every couple of years.

Other than that, it's 3 or 4 month situations where I have no idea, nor interest in finding them.

[Anonymous]

I married at 19 to escape an abusive house. Worse mistake of my life. Married 25 years. Youngest reached 18, divorced.
Two contacts with the ex: daughter's wedding 2004, ex called me in 2011 regarding an old medical bill which I then paid. No other contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS GF - first person I ever had feelings for. When she had a family tragedy, reached out but other than FB friends, no contact.

College GF - cheated on me and generally self-centered human being so no contact but every few years she reaches out and I ignore her.

After college GF - fell in love with her but was not in a good place in my life. Ended badly and no contact.

After MBA GF - talk every couple of years.

Other than that, it's 3 or 4 month situations where I have no idea, nor interest in finding them.

Two of my relationships where like this after college. Do you think of contacting her?

[Anonymous]

I do. We coparent a now-college student. I'm 47 and remarried.

[Anonymous]

I don't have an exH but I do have a few exBFs. None of the relationships were so intense that they led to meltdowns they just ran their course and we parted on friendly terms. Because of social media I might be in contact with them once or twice a year but it's all basically I hope you're doing well kind of stuff.

[Anonymous]

I stayed good, daily-chat/monthly drink friends with a big ex (lived with him ages 23-28) until I got engaged, and then he was all "exes can't be friends." So I guess the friendship was actually complicated after all.

Now (both married and in our 40s) we send very short messages to each other for milestones (death of parent, birth of kids). I can't imagine having a more involved friendship with him, and I'm relieved to be married to my husband and not the boyfriend, but j do think he's a cool person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married at 19 to escape an abusive house. Worse mistake of my life. Married 25 years. Youngest reached 18, divorced.
Two contacts with the ex: daughter's wedding 2004, ex called me in 2011 regarding an old medical bill which I then paid. No other contact.

I forgot, I also mailed her a Sympathy card when her mother, frankly, a true saint, died three years ago.

[Anonymous]

Nope, no contact. Very intense and poorly handled from my end. I had past trauma that interfered and we were just too young to deal with properly. I still miss him and wouldn't mind keeping in contact, but his wife definitely doesn't want that. I respect that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, and I'm not a tramp or immature. I talk to a few exes via email and it's with DH's knowledge and blessing. He knows I've got nothing to hide so I hide nothing. If I thought any of the communication was romantic in nature on their side or if I felt myself developing any romantic feelings/attachments I'd stop the communication.

[Anonymous]

I do. He was not a good person to me but I have since moved on. He reaches out every so often and I'll speak. All the passion I felt is dead but I do have a genuine maternal/sisterly affection left for him. I keep a healthy distance and incredibly firm boundaries so when we do talk it remains pretty friendly and uplifting.

It's not some teary eyed long suffering forlorn regret-filled thing, at least not for me. He did give me the closure (allegedly, who knows) I would have killed for years ago but it was years too late and I didn't care by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HS GF - first person I ever had feelings for. When she had a family tragedy, reached out but other than FB friends, no contact.

College GF - cheated on me and generally self-centered human being so no contact but every few years she reaches out and I ignore her.

After college GF - fell in love with her but was not in a good place in my life. Ended badly and no contact.

After MBA GF - talk every couple of years.

Other than that, it's 3 or 4 month situations where I have no idea, nor interest in finding them.

Two of my relationships where like this after college. Do you think of contacting her?

No. Do know she is divorced. I am married. It would be insanely awkward to reach out. Too much time has passed. But in my heart of hearts, do hope she thinks of me fondly and remembers some of the good times we had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. None of them. I would have to go out of my way to contact them and it would seem strange.

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