N. Arlington parents -- do any August/Sept boys start K "on time" or does everyone redshirt?

[Anonymous]

To the PP who said you can always put your kid in kindergarten and if they are not ready, you can hold them back, I don't think that's a good idea. If you hold them back, the kid will look at it as they are the ones who failed (not at that point, but as they get older). They will also want to know why they couldn't go to 1st grade with their friends. I still remember the 2 kids in my elementary school who were held back a year.

They may internalize this and think they are not as good, aren't smart, etc.

If the parents delay the start, the parents can say they were trying to give them an advantage, they wanted to spend more time with them, etc. Whatever the reason, the parents can take full blame for the late start and the kids won't ever be at risk for thinking they were failures. Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Another angle. We're in North Arlington but our DS goes to one of the countywide choice schools. His class has some kids who turned 5 after the school year started and started K at 5 nevertheless. While not a late summer birthday (late spring), our DS could've been held back for another year of preschool but not doing so was probably the best decision we made. He has some learning disabilities and has an IEP at school. The extra year of preschool would have done nothing for him. He needed to get into a regular school classroom and start getting remediation for his learning disabilities. Our DS has a friend in his class who also has Lds. That boy was held back a year (and still has LD's) -- it's something that kids note and talk about (not in a mean way, but it is noticed).

As someone who lives in North Arlington, I think the red-shirting phenemonon is the herd mentality at work. People talk about it anxiously and it creates a bandwagon effect. It's also a function of how we raise kids these days -- with a lot of fretting that they can't possibly handle whatever it is and need to be sheltered. I remember the last year of pre-school with so many moms fretting about whether their children could handle a long school day. Not something I even thought to worry about - in my mind, it was, yes, DS is going to school and yes the day is longer. All part of growing up and handling challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't do it because they have $15,000 to drop, but because it's an option they can consider. For people without extra funds, there's really no option. Kids go to public school as soon as they are old enough.

Let's be honest, though--not everyone spends $15K on preschool. We spent less than $1,000 per year for three mornings a week (I work PT from home).

+1. My son is doing a pre-k class at our preschool instead of starting "on time"-it is very inexpensive ($400/month for 4 mornings a week). He is not starting on time b/c he is still potty-training due to some bowel issues that needed surgeries to correct. He would definitely be the youngest in his group as his birthday is right at the cut off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the PP who said you can always put your kid in kindergarten and if they are not ready, you can hold them back, I don't think that's a good idea. If you hold them back, the kid will look at it as they are the ones who failed (not at that point, but as they get older). They will also want to know why they couldn't go to 1st grade with their friends. I still remember the 2 kids in my elementary school who were held back a year.

They may internalize this and think they are not as good, aren't smart, etc.

If the parents delay the start, the parents can say they were trying to give them an advantage, they wanted to spend more time with them, etc. Whatever the reason, the parents can take full blame for the late start and the kids won't ever be at risk for thinking they were failures. Just my 2 cents.

Thanks for explaining that - I was wondering why delaying school would be considered a good thing. Those are sympathetic reasons and if your kid has developmental delays, I can understand, but if you kid is at least close to average, I don't see why you wouldn't give them the chance. Speaking from experience, being the oldest kid in your class can suck for all kinds of reasons and being the kid who "repeated" pre-K can be just as embarrassing as repeating a year of actual school. Not feeling challenged in class can cause a host of behavioral problems; being the oldest raises all kinds of questions from the other kids; being in the same softball team as your peers but a grade or two behind them in school is awkward; and then getting into the pre-teen bodily changes before anyone else - it's just a mess and to put a kid through all that just so the parent can feel confident that they set their kid up for success in KG? KG is rather short lived - middle school + high school are much longer and more relevant to one's sense of self-esteem and one's likelihood to succeed in college. IMO, a kid would need to have rather extraordinary developmental issues for me to think keeping him out of KG is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

My younger brother was small - like really really small, didn't grow for 2 years small - so he repeated pre-K in hopes that he would fit in better and then became the oldest in his class despite already knowing his multiplication tables at age 5 (peering over big sister's homework) and he was a PITA for the teachers. He was so bored and let it be known. By middle school, he was angry and didn't bother to do his homework anymore. My parents eventually had him skip 8th grade all together and then he happily became a decent student again and a lot less angry.

I don't know what article/book you all are citing when you say delaying KG is giving your child a "gift of a year" - but what the phrase brings to mind for me is that it truly was a gift for my brother to be reunited with his age group at age 14 and I only wish he had been given that gift from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

I think the mom saying that you could try kindergarten and then repeat if necessary might have meant trying a different school out for kindergarten and then either switching to kindergarten at a different school or moving onto 1st grade. There are so many privates that go through the kindergarten year.

[Anonymous]

A couple of our neighbors are doing exactly this... Sending DC to the K that is part of their preschool and then making a choice to repeat K in public or letting them go on to 1st, "depending."