Are you living beyond your means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We net $18,000 a month after our retirement contributions, save about $6000 in addition to the retirement contributions.

Gloat much?

Nope, just stating the facts.

Right... You could have said: "Well it wasn't always this way, but once our kids hit school, and DH got promoted, and we refinanced, it was comfortable". Which, you know, might actually contribute to the conversation... Instead you only cited meaningless dollar figures intended to highlight how much you make. ... Did they somehow add to the conversation? Nope.

It's like when you ask someone what they are doing for the weekend and instead of saying "We are heading up to Maine with family, how about you?" they say "We are heading up to our estate home in Maine on 300 acres. The driver should be here soon hopefully."

Both stamens are factual, but the second makes you sound like a twatwaffle.

[Anonymous]

21:54, your response is more offensive than PP's. You obviously are envious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, we live paycheck to paycheck on 290,000. Very high mortgage that we are stuck with because we don't have enough equity to sell, 2 in private school (will probably change this next year) but no fancy cars or vacations. Mortgage and school is our main problem. We'd really like to leave kids in but haven't saved for college or enough for retirement.

Can I ask how big is big? We are at 250k with a 2,500 a month payment (incl taxes) and I feel like its a lot. That and our $4,000 a month on a nanny is killing us. Hoping that we eventually get past that part...

DC is such a crazy city where $300k a year can be anything other than totally comfortable.

Our mortgage is 1.1 mil and we pay $7000 a month.

In your case, I'm pretty sure your neighborhood schools are fine. I think you will be a lot happier next year if you transfer to public.

Yes, we will be happier, but I'm afraid our DS who will be in 9th grade won't be too happy to be forced to switch schools.

[Anonymous]

9th grade is a wonderful year to switch, because everyone in his class will be new. My GF and her husband just switched their kids from public to private against their wishes in odd years and they were loving the new school and had new friends in the first week or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9th grade is a wonderful year to switch, because everyone in his class will be new. My GF and her husband just switched their kids from public to private against their wishes in odd years and they were loving the new school and had new friends in the first week or two.

This. I went from private to public to international boarding school over a 3 year period between 7th and 10th grade. You make new friends in a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to realize that a lot of people in this area actually have a TON of money.

We don't live beyond our means, per se. We save for retirement, put a few k away for college for our young kids, don't have any credit card debt or student loans or anything, but we have two car payments and a heafty mortgage. We could certainly stand to save more. We have a decent HHI but like to spend a lot too.

That said, we've got friends that we always thought were in similar situations as us. We are starting to realize that's not the case. As we've gotten closer to some of our friends, we have learned about trust funds, inheritances, the insane success of seemingly modest businesses, etc.

Kinda makes me feel like we are living beyond our means for the sheer fact that we are even in the same circles as some of our friends

I see this a lot also. We in turn have more than people think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are right on the cusp right now and it's killing me. $150k income, cars paid off, no credit card debt, minimal student loans, but with two in daycare we've had to dip into our savings (100k, for a house down payment) more than I'd like. We max out retirement contributions but haven't started saving for college (kids are 6mo and 2). Our rent is too high, but it's childcare that is killing us. Things should look up next year when we both get raises, trade our rent for a lower mortgage, and childcare costs drop. Definitely no fancy cars or extravegent houses for us though.

Yes, I have the same problem! 500K for the down payment on our million home. 600K saved for DCs education, 700K for retirement -- we NEED so MUCH MORE! really cuts into my vacation fund.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are right on the cusp right now and it's killing me. $150k income, cars paid off, no credit card debt, minimal student loans, but with two in daycare we've had to dip into our savings (100k, for a house down payment) more than I'd like. We max out retirement contributions but haven't started saving for college (kids are 6mo and 2). Our rent is too high, but it's childcare that is killing us. Things should look up next year when we both get raises, trade our rent for a lower mortgage, and childcare costs drop. Definitely no fancy cars or extravegent houses for us though.

Yes, I have the same problem! 500K for the down payment on our million home. 600K saved for DCs education, 700K for retirement -- we NEED so MUCH MORE! really cuts into my vacation fund.

Common, two kids on 150 on this city - plus retirement - would be hard. Cut the girl some slack.

[Anonymous]

13:42 I don't understand the reason for your sarcastic post. The 150k poster probably spends at least 2500 a month on rent and utilities and at least 3000 on daycare (and I'm being extremely generous with those estimates) Add in food and clothes and there's not a ton of money leftover every month. The '$300k woe is me' posters annoy the hell out of me too but she is not one of them. kudos to her for managing to save so much for a home down payment!

[Anonymous]

13:42 here: I feel the same way, just a little higher bills. She wants a nicer house. Me, too. She wants a lower mortgage. Me. too. She pays more to live here than she likes. Me, also. We dip into savings for things for our kids. Education. Same story, slighly higher costs. She is far from alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We net $18,000 a month after our retirement contributions, save about $6000 in addition to the retirement contributions.

Gloat much?

Nope, just stating the facts.

Right... You could have said: "Well it wasn't always this way, but once our kids hit school, and DH got promoted, and we refinanced, it was comfortable". Which, you know, might actually contribute to the conversation... Instead you only cited meaningless dollar figures intended to highlight how much you make. ... Did they somehow add to the conversation? Nope.

It's like when you ask someone what they are doing for the weekend and instead of saying "We are heading up to Maine with family, how about you?" they say "We are heading up to our estate home in Maine on 300 acres. The driver should be here soon hopefully."

Both stamens are factual, but the second makes you sound like a twatwaffle.

You must be a girl. I won't apologize for my self control. It's a choice in our case to live below our means, and yeah, I'm proud of our success.

[Anonymous]

NP here. It seems that there are TONS of sour grapes here. If you are happy, they want to try to shoot you down. If you are wealthy or have nice things, they want to believe you are in debt. If you are (whatever positive) they want you to be just as miserable, poor, empty, missing, negative whatever as them. They would love nothing more than for you to be on their very lowest level.

It is somehow so important for them to believe you sold your soul and "at least they did not".

Let them think so. Just don't become one of them. If you are, it is truly over for you.

Most of my friends are self made and did extremely well *entirely* on their own. THOSE are the people I and everyone I know respects. No one I know respects those that covet what others have (but of course would never admit it).

If you are sour grapes, it is glaringly obvious; and you only make yourself look bad. Decide to be happy and self sufficient without trying to interfere or bring others down. You will be much, much happier and have a fuller life all around.

More mothers should teach their daughters this. It goes MUCH farther than any private school education.

[Anonymous]

I took risks and some paid off some haven't. You don't become rich being a worker b ea, saving 401k and avoiding debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I took risks and some paid off some haven't. You don't become rich being a worker b ea, saving 401k and avoiding debt.

I beg to differ. I accumulated my first million from a negative net worth position in only 13 years, all through plain old saving and investing in mutual funds. Made my second million the same way.

[Anonymous]

I was living within my means but just bought a house. PITI is exactly same as mortgage but losing the down payment savings makes me nervous.