s/o - do you let your kids eat in the grocery store before you pay?

[Anonymous]

I let DD eat something in the store every single time we go. No exceptions. She knows that she'll have access to samples, and she appreciates the opportunity to try new things. I have absolutely no problem giving her something from one of the items that we haven't yet technically purchased. I've never once felt an ounce of guilt. SO NOT A BIG DEAL.

[Anonymous]

I've done it once with a mini muffin - in a carton of 12 -- when my 20 month old dd was having the world's absolute biggest meltdown and my baby was also screaming his head off but I'm all alone with my children M-F because my husband travels and I needed to pick up some stuff. I was in the early months as a mom of 2 under 2. I was embarrassed but in the grand scale of embarrasing things to happen to me as a mother, this wasn't so bad. I apologized profusely and the cashier at Target says it happens all the time. Made me feel just a little bit better, but not much.

[Anonymous]

What's worse, giving your kid a piece of cheese that you're going to pay for anyway, or making other customers listen to them as they meltdown on you because they see their favorite cheese in the buggy and can't have it? It's not the end of the world, especially if what they're snacking on is something that isn't sold by weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do it all the time, I don't see the big deal. We are going to pay for them when we get to the checkout counter, what's the big difference?

Because at the time that you are consuming them, you haven't paid for them yet. They don't belong to you. The store has no way of knowing that you're not going to just put the empty container on the next empty shelf that you come across. It's considered shoplifting in many states. Whether the store chooses to enforce it or not, it is still illegal in many states. Just be aware that you're doing something wrong and don't be upset if the store makes an issue of it. Be grateful when the store turns a blind eye and doesn't make an issue about it.

If you absolutely cannot possibly wait until you've left the store to eat, then go to the front and pay for the one item and then go back and do the rest of your shopping with the receipt in your pocket showing that you actually paid for the item.

Lighten up, not everyone is a lawyer. The stores don't seem to mind, and it keeps my kids happy. Considering the amount of money I spend grocery shopping, I would think it would not be that big a deal that I open a box of crackers and eat a couple while grocery shopping.

PP here again. Like I said, most stores turn a blind eye to this practice. You should be grateful when they do because they are well within their rights to choose to enforce the shoplifting rule. I've seen them do this (usually to teenagers), but they do sometimes enforce the rules. Also, people do forget. If you are shopping with your little snowflake who cannot take no for an answer, and you give them food and then they have a tantrum in the checkout line and you are trying to get your $200 order checked out, paid for and get your screaming snowflake out the door, and you forget about the empty wrapper in the bottom of the cart, it happens. The store has no idea that this will or will not happen. And if you don't think it will, read the article here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-parenting/post/pregnant-mom-arrested-at-safeway-and-loses-custody-of-toddler-over-sandwiches/2011/11/01/gIQApyrtcM_blog.html

These parents did forget in the chaos...then the store decided to enforce the rule and they were outraged at the overreaction by the store. Whether you agree with the store's reaction or not, the fact is that the parents were WRONG and actually had shoplifted. And then they complained that they shouldn't have been considered shoplifters. Um, right. As I pointed out, be grateful when the stores ignore the rule, but be aware that if they decide to enforce the rules, you were wrong to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's worse, giving your kid a piece of cheese that you're going to pay for anyway, or making other customers listen to them as they meltdown on you because they see their favorite cheese in the buggy and can't have it? It's not the end of the world, especially if what they're snacking on is something that isn't sold by weight.

Or how about option 3, don't reward your kids for having meltdowns in the first place and after the first one or two they won't try it anymore. Meltdown equals we leave the store and have an icy quiet ride home. Meltdown does not equal ok you get whatever you want just shut up. Not so hard really.

[Anonymous]

No never ever with the kids. And if they were to scream and throw a tantrum because they want something that would definitely mean they wouldn't get it. However my kids know better than to throw a tantrum for what they want - they know that won't get them the item and it will get them a consequence they don't want. I have also taught my kids that until you pay for it it doesn't belong to you. A restaurant is completely different.

I am pretty surprised how many people eat their way through the grocery store. The thought of telling my kids to take what they want off the shelves or from the fridges and chow down while we shop is not a thought I have ever had.

[Anonymous]

And actually, I think I'd rather be around the adults whose parents didn't bend to their every want rather than adults whose parents gave them whatever they want whenever they want it regardless of the appropriateness or legality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But what can I do? I can't really teach him a lesson that he can't always have immediate gratification without subjecting the entire store to him hysterically screaming "FRUIT STRIP!" or "PRETZELS!"

What can you do? You can take him outside of the store and sternly tell him that his behavior is unacceptable. If he is in the midst of a meltdown, then you end the shopping trip.

This.

We also kept reinforcing the "we have to pay for it first" or "we have to buy it first" concepts. Distraction and redirection as well as ignoring works as well. If you don't give in, they don't keep doing it. Give in, they will do it every time you go shopping. Its just like any other tantrum. People around you will deal and those who have kids or who have been around kids will understand.

I once saw a 7 year old walking through CVS opening things and eating part of it and then putting them back on the shelf. And it is a common stage around 3.5-4 for them take things tha they want (or try to buy it even in places where it is not able to be bought - like friends' homes). We do actually have to teach our kids that we have to pay for something before we can have it. Even if you are going to pay for it at the end of the trip - your child doesn't know that.

[Anonymous]

The DCUM toddler parent mantra. Please repeat after me!

“I will do whatever is convenient for me. I do not care if it is illegal, wrong or inconvenient to others. I will do what works best for ME!”

Seriously, I have never done this and I would never do it. What you are doing is illegal. At the time the item is consumed, you have not purchased the item and your intent is only known to you. It may not seem like a big deal, but in certain stores (The Safeway in SW, for example), you would get checked on this practice pretty quickly. Of course, you would be outraged at being labeled a criminal and you would promise never to shop at that store again because you fully intended to pay for it. How dare a store manager compare you to a shoplifter! .

Also, I would not want my kids to think it is ok to grab stuff off the shelf and eat it. They may be in the store with someone else (grandma, other parents) and they might think that is acceptable behavior. I would be horrified if the story circulated throughout the family or in the pre-school that my DC was snatching stuff from the shelf in the store and tearing into it. Spin it how you like, it is not socially acceptable behavior.

[Anonymous]

Re: the DCUM parenting mantra. I am one of the parents who said I've never eaten food before paying and would never but I DID walk around with a mug of spiked cider for trick or treating, so where does that put me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Re: the DCUM parenting mantra. I am one of the parents who said I've never eaten food before paying and would never but I DID walk around with a mug of spiked cider for trick or treating, so where does that put me?

Seriously. It's not shoplifting until you actually pass the cashier without paying for it. Same way it's not illegal to drink outside until you step out of your yard.

[Anonymous]

We have done it. DD is now 3yo. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Yes, almost every time. There's a bottled juice that is my kid's special grocery shopping treat. We grab it on the way in and share it while shopping. She is VERY conscientious about putting the empty bottle on the conveyor belt. She would remind me if I forgot, not that I ever have.

[Anonymous]

only if she manages to snag a box of something and open it before I realize what she's done. which happened once when she was "driving" one of those car shopping carts. (she's 3.) we also had a situation once where I looked up from putting my stuff on the checkout line and she was covered in chocolate. At about 18 months, she'd managed to open up a chocolate-covered luna bar from my cart and eat half of it before I realized.

Both times, I paid for the items and got no flak from the store. With the sandwich story, I do feel like the store and cops may have overreacted but that the people were also kind of clueless/blase about stealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's worse, giving your kid a piece of cheese that you're going to pay for anyway, or making other customers listen to them as they meltdown on you because they see their favorite cheese in the buggy and can't have it? It's not the end of the world, especially if what they're snacking on is something that isn't sold by weight.

Or how about option 3, don't reward your kids for having meltdowns in the first place and after the first one or two they won't try it anymore. Meltdown equals we leave the store and have an icy quiet ride home. Meltdown does not equal ok you get whatever you want just shut up. Not so hard really.

Look, sorry, that is sometimes not an option. If my DC has a fit and I have to leave a place that's optional for me to be at (clothing store, etc.) or if my husband and I are both at a restaurant and one of us can take her outside to calm down, that's one thing and I willingly do that all the time. If I'm at the grocery store, alone, I'm not abandoning the buggy I just spent 35 minutes filling and taking my child home only to then have to go BACK to the grocery store to do it all over again because I had to leave without groceries. In that case, I'm giving her a damn piece of cheese so she will STFU, and then I leave as quickly as I can.