Colleges for C & D Students

[Anonymous]

I have a kid like this too. We’re using middle school to right the ship. He/ we are getting counseling and coaching to address the demand avoidance, and it’s been very insightful. There are all sorts of reasons for poor performance at this age and they don’t necessarily predict high school outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a neurodivergent DC currently in middle school who struggles to complete homework (and has low grades).

We are working on helping DC develop better homework habits. We think that as DC gets older and more mature that will help as well. However, we’re concerned that significant improvement won’t happen for a few years (JR or SR year).

Are there 4-year colleges that accept students with gpas of 2 (or lower) or would community college be the only option?

Harvard > Jared Kushner

[Anonymous]

ECU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many will because they are desperate to fill spots, but the question is, is your child ready. Many are accepting students they don't realistically except to be successful. I would have the kid live at home and try out college classes first with supports.

He’s in middle school. I certainly hope he’s living at home!

[Anonymous]

Why do you want him to go to a 4 year college when his high school grades are so low? Wouldn’t community college students or skilled trade be better? Don’t set your kid up for failure just because you/he want to tell people he’s going to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a neurodivergent DC currently in middle school who struggles to complete homework (and has low grades).

We are working on helping DC develop better homework habits. We think that as DC gets older and more mature that will help as well. However, we’re concerned that significant improvement won’t happen for a few years (JR or SR year).

Are there 4-year colleges that accept students with gpas of 2 (or lower) or would community college be the only option?

I am not sure why some posters on this thread feel the need to scold you while simultaneously patting themselves on the back for their own heroic efforts, when it is clear that you have and are working to figure our your child's learning challenges AND helping with their homework skills. You are a wonderful parent who loves your child, works hard on their behalf and cares deeply about their future. For goodness sake, you are on a college board filled with neurotic parents obsessing about college, and your kid is still in middle school!

1) I agree that neuro-psych evaluation can be helpful - sadly, it is crazy expensive and often not covered by insurance. The last time my son had a full NP workup, I think it was $10k.
2) I assume your child has some type of accommodation but IME you often have to push for more and or tweak it so it works for him. When my kid was in MS, he did not have an IEP, but we realized that he needed feedback (eg, on essays) in writing instead of the individual meetings his history teacher preferred. She pushed back but eventually she agreed to actually mark up his essays and he finally learned how to write a history research paper. If your child does not have an IEP, meet with the learning support office at your school and enlist their help.
3) Kids change a great deal - my son started HS with very weak EF skills and was a low B student freshman year. He was earning mostly As by junior year and all As senior year. He is now at a T20 university. One of his best friends almost flunked out of middle school - and would have if his parents hadn't sent him to summer school - was a solid C student freshman year of HS, started to do better in only the subjects that interested him, and is now at a great college pursuing some complicated tech degree I don't even understand.
4) We did not, despite the advice you are receiving, sit down with him "every.single.night after school, making a list subject-by-subject and going through the assignments and then checking in hourly to make sure things were done." And the thought of someone doing that daily for years just makes me sad for the kid and family as a whole. At some point, your family life and kid's happiness should be more important than making sure homework is done perfectly every night for years. Being a parent does not mean being a taskmaster for hours every single night of your kid's life FOR YEARS. There are better and more effective ways to teach EF, homework and study skills - and often engaging the help of teachers, coaches, tutors (if you can), and most importantly for us, putting strong, clear systems in place that worked for HIM, not standing over him every night.
5) By the time he is in HS, which is the only time his grades will even start to matter for college admissions, try to have a strong and clear IEP in place along with all the supports he needs.
6) And, yes, if he has a very low GPA in HS and wants to go to college, there are always good, accredited 4-year colleges that will be right for him. If you are full pay, you would have your pick of many.

Good luck - I would focus on figuring out what works for him and not worry about college yet.

You need a tutor/therapist who helps the kid develop Exec Functioning Skills. I have a neurodivergent kid (not fully identified until college) but most issues were identified in 3rd/4th grade. We were lucky that we could afford it and we got them intensive tutoring immediately. 3-4 days per week for the first two summers and 2x/week during the school year for 4th-9th grade (during the school year). The tutor was specialized trained for processing disorders and in Exec Functioning. Someone other than me telling my kid to be more organized worked way better. That way I could supplement at home and kid would listen. By MS my kid was doing better and by 10th grade we were able to drop all tutoring. Kid graduated HS, got into 3 T100 schools (and several others), graduated in 4 years (college was. a new challenge and freshman year was incredibly challenging in the wrong major), and has been working full-time for 5 years at a great company and doing well.

But without all that early help, they would have been demoralized and had no self esteem. Instead we got them the tools to "be the best person they could possibly be". They still use those tools now, they know how to manage their ADHD and lack of EF so it's not apparent to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want him to go to a 4 year college when his high school grades are so low? Wouldn’t community college students or skilled trade be better? Don’t set your kid up for failure just because you/he want to tell people he’s going to college.

He doesn’t have high school grades. OP’s kid is in middle school.