Being a working mom in the summer sucks

[Anonymous]

The only way we were able to make swim team work with two working parents is flexible jobs and a summer babysitter - and then the fact that the pool was biking distance once they got older. I understand why you want to keep your kids in it but yeah, the camp/swim thing in hard. You’re a great parent for trying to get it to work for them.

Part of my struggle with summer is that I think we’re conditioned from childhood to view it as the fun relaxing season / when the opposite is actually true as a working parents. Once I recognized that and accepted it it was a little easier to soldier through and just make the most of a couple of vacation weeks.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I hate it. I hate my job and am resentful I have to work full stop.

DH works European hours. He's up at 4 and works until 8 and then does the camp shuttles, doctors, shopping, cleaning, etc. He then works during the short time they are at camp and then picks them up at 3 and does dinner/evening activities. He even NAPS daily for an hour. I am utterly resentful and hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are all your kids? I thought summer swim team for was older kids. Like 11 and up. Are 7 and 8 year olds doing swim team now?

Yes, we have kids as young as 6 on our team.

Our team even has a few 5 year olds. But this isn’t new— it’s been that way for at least 30-40 years.

[Anonymous]

What tf is summer swim? Someone explain to me like I have kindergarteners, which I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What tf is summer swim? Someone explain to me like I have kindergarteners, which I do.

Local pools have swim teams that only a practice/compete in the summer. They start around Memorial Day and go until mid/late July.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I hate it. I hate my job and am resentful I have to work full stop.

DH works European hours. He's up at 4 and works until 8 and then does the camp shuttles, doctors, shopping, cleaning, etc. He then works during the short time they are at camp and then picks them up at 3 and does dinner/evening activities. He even NAPS daily for an hour. I am utterly resentful and hate it.

Same. Wouldn’t have had kids if I had known the reality, the slog and the resentment over being required to work but still not an equal.

[Anonymous]

When I first learned about summer swim and found out practice was 9:30-10:30 AM every day, I just laughed and said "oh, that's not for working parents." There's no way. We take our kids to the public pool after work and they're happy just horsing around.

That said, yes, it sucks. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't get a summer break, and it does make ke grumpy sometimes! (DH is a professor, so has a lot of flexibility in when he does his research, but still isn't willing to sign on to summer swim; it would mean no full day camps at all.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I hate it. I hate my job and am resentful I have to work full stop.

DH works European hours. He's up at 4 and works until 8 and then does the camp shuttles, doctors, shopping, cleaning, etc. He then works during the short time they are at camp and then picks them up at 3 and does dinner/evening activities. He even NAPS daily for an hour. I am utterly resentful and hate it.

I guess I grew up with working as a requirement. I mean, do you and your kids like to eat? Have a roof over your heads? If so, working isn't a choice. I certainly wouldn't be resentful of someone who is up at 4am every day. I get up at 5:45 and get my kid up at 6:00. We are out the door at 6:40. School drop off at 7am and I work until 5:30. Pick up kid at 6pm. Dinner, bath, etc, bed at 8pm. Lather, rinse, repeat. Is it tiring? Yep. Do I resent it? No, because without it, we'd be homeless.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I also don’t have these feelings either. I love being a working mom and having a career. My kids don’t do summer swim and I always had them in camps. I do have a flexible schedule such that I could leave at 4:30 for pick ups (and work only 20 min from home).

[Anonymous]

Working sucks. Especially in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I hate it. I hate my job and am resentful I have to work full stop.

DH works European hours. He's up at 4 and works until 8 and then does the camp shuttles, doctors, shopping, cleaning, etc. He then works during the short time they are at camp and then picks them up at 3 and does dinner/evening activities. He even NAPS daily for an hour. I am utterly resentful and hate it.

Why are you so resentful when it means he does all the kid logistics and a lot of errands and house stuff?

My DH took the fork and is not working. I'm not resentful, I'm trying to make the most of this period when I have less on my plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I hate it. I hate my job and am resentful I have to work full stop.

DH works European hours. He's up at 4 and works until 8 and then does the camp shuttles, doctors, shopping, cleaning, etc. He then works during the short time they are at camp and then picks them up at 3 and does dinner/evening activities. He even NAPS daily for an hour. I am utterly resentful and hate it.

What are you resentful of? Sounds like your husband is doing the majority of household things. You just... go to work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP! Swim team really isn't for working parents. I'm impressed that you're figuring out a way to make it work, but I think you're making summer harder on yourself that it has to be. The reason you're the only one in work clothes is because the rest of us don't do summer swim team. We can't. It's not set up for working moms.

Our pool added this afternoon practice that some families do after camp but it just means that there is basically always practice happening and the kids that do that and camp are out of the house all day. I know a few of them at least actually love it but honestly it seems like a lot of people do it to not feel left out. It works best if you hire a summer sitter like others have said.

Luckily for me my kids are ok with not participating and we just try to do social stuff on our own. I do wish they got a little more down time in the summer but I save all my leave and take off as much time as I can.

[Anonymous]

My kids do summer swim in a country club league and practice is 430p. Meets are usually 4p weekdays or on Saturdays. It's totally doable for working parents with flexible hours. It's not hyper competitive though, so it might be a turn off for many parents here. It's more parents watching with coctails and then many of us go for dinner when the kids are done.

Like PP, I also send my kids to month long sleep away camp. They love it and I don't feel I have to run around and plan as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I first learned about summer swim and found out practice was 9:30-10:30 AM every day, I just laughed and said "oh, that's not for working parents." There's no way. We take our kids to the public pool after work and they're happy just horsing around.

That said, yes, it sucks. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't get a summer break, and it does make ke grumpy sometimes! (DH is a professor, so has a lot of flexibility in when he does his research, but still isn't willing to sign on to summer swim; it would mean no full day camps at all.)

It is not for most working parents, but it sounds like it is for working parents that have your husband's job.

With remote work, more parents have flexibility to make it work, especially with older kids, but yeah it is hard and not worth the time and effort for everyone.