My wife wants a $8,000 handbag. Please help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not an investment unless she uses it like a normal handbag, it will have wear and tear, and it will not be an investment. Also, if you have a little kids, any expensive item like that needs to be kept locked securely out of their reach. For some reason, on my Facebook feed, I get a ton of those videos, showing people buying Birkins and then selling them at this resale store where they get more money from the store than they paid at the time of the original purchase. I’ve watched a ton of them and the more I watched them, the less absolutely absurd the bag seems to me on one level. On most other normal brain levels, I realize it’s an absurdity, but a little part of me thinks it would be nice to have such such a bag. So your wife may have just fallen victim to some Facebook algorithm.

If it’s a special birthday, and she wants the Chanel bag because she is going to keep it and use it forever, then maybe that’s what she means by an investment. Maybe she means it’s a lifetime bag, since Chanel is pretty classic.

It is almost impossible to resell vintage for more than you paid. Even the top resellers sell for a fraction of their original cost. I just consigned a brand new dress with age from Barney's New York that cost $700 new that I purchased for $400 on sale. The site told me it was being marked as $70 but they actually sold it for $30 and I received $6. I was furious and will never consign again.

[Anonymous]

^with tags

[Anonymous]

Here you go, OP. Maybe you can find her the one she wants (or likes enough) on sale or in the "authentic, pre-loved" department of an online liquidator or consigner:

https://www.gilt.com/search/?q=chanel+handbag&dsi=SRQ-1972505983--4b6fe649-ca94-4aad-9eac-5693aa0cbb09&lsi=94dd9c10-3f14-4e7c-a4fb-4880643d0b80

[Anonymous]

Check the Fashion & Beauty forum.

[Anonymous]

if your worth is dependent on a bad, idk what to tell you, but I'm sorry, that's pretty sad for you. You sound like a doormat with a wallet to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
This is not a milestone birthday. She is turning 34. I’m 32.
Our kids are 3 and 5. After our second child was born, we decided she will stay home until both kids start school.
I’m the sole breadwinner. HHI is $250k.
We have a mortgage but our cars are paid off.
We only started funding our 529s last year.
Our net worth is approximately $700k including home equity.

I don’t think we can afford to spend $8k on a handbag.

I believe she is being influenced by some of her friends.
She said that if I don't get her that handbag, she'll just buy it herself and remember that I'm a worthless husband.

Your wife needs to go back to work.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it, why not? I have an expensive purse, an expensive watch, and some expensive jewelry. I take care of it and I enjoy it. If you can't afford it then obviously don't buy it.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford it, go for it. If not, get a "pre-loved" one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. matter how much money you have 8,000$ for a handbag is an extremely unreasonable purchase.

I love that you all are freaking out about a Chanel bag for $8K. You know many bags go for 10 times that? I don't have a Birkin because I can't afford one but I'm aware that they're out there.

[Anonymous]

its the worthless comment that would bug me. That's a shitty thing to say to your husband over a bday gift. She sounds like a spoiled brat.

[Anonymous]

An $8K bag with 2 small children and HHI $250K is *not* a good investment … unless you know for sure you’ll inherit a few million sometime soon.

I’d love to own a Chanel bag, too, but I’m financially literate so I’ll just admire designer bags from afar and carry the $200, no-name bag I bought in Italy years ago.

[Anonymous]

Get the bag and start looking into daycares.

She’s scammed you into 2 kids and not working.

Get her back to work so when the eventual divorce happens you don’t get killed in alimony.

Start your own bank account in your name only, you can direct deposit straight from your paycheck and she will never know,

[Anonymous]

Make sure she isn’t following Jett and Pookie on instagram. Yes, this is common in some circles but your hhi Is not high enough to justify this with young kids. Yes, some are investments but some are trends that fade away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM, so I’m not throwing shade, but where and when does a SAHM carry an $8k handbag? I wouldn’t be comfortable carrying a bag like that to the grocery store or a parent/teacher conference.

SAHM here. I have many bags. I got a Chanel bag for my birthday and many birthdays. DH earns 2.5m per year though, not 250k.

I have them in my closet. Everyone has them so it isn’t any type of status symbol. I will carry one to lunch or dinner.

Around 20 years ago, DH brought me an LV bag for around 2k. He earned less than OP then. I’m much more into travel though. I would rather have a trip than a bag. DH can easily get me a bag. A week trip is harder because of time.

I don’t think OP needs to get the wife a bag they can’t easily afford for a non milestone birthday. I have a friend who got one for her 40th birthday.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I’m in my late forties now. No one cares. When I was OP’s wives I do think people would compliment one another on cute bags. I didn’t have a Chanel then. I think I liked LV, Burberry, Gucci. I don’t know if styles changed, I’m older or we just have more money now.