38-year old single man looking to have a kid in DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly … got to therapy to understand why you haven’t been successful in dating.

Agree.

You are still young and have plenty of time to connect with a woman and create a great family. Connecting with her will help you for connecting with your child. Every child deserves 2 parents (I know this firsthand as a longtime single parent.)

[Anonymous]

I think you can join a SMBC group for support and advice, but I sincerely doubt someone who is thinking about having a child by themselves would be okay with deciding to coparent with you for the life of the child and give up 50% of their decision-making and tie themselves to a virtual stranger in exchange for financial support. I think by the time a woman gets to the point of contemplating SMBC she's thought through a lot of options that include different levels of involvement from a man and the option you're considering is not very tempting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The whole scenario you describe is a huge red flag.

Not OP but would you feel the same with if OP was a woman?

Food for thought to combat sexism against males.

DP but yes. Becoming a single parent by choice is not my cuppa but fine for either sex. Thinking you can just find a virtual stranger to set up a pretend family with at age 38 in order to split the emotional/financial burden because you want a baby but aren't good at relationships is really really . . . immature? Idealistic? Silly? Obviously a bad idea? Red flag sums it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you gay? Find a great guy and have some babies. If you're not gay, find a woman to date, marry, and have kids. Get someone to set up a blind date or arrange a marriage

You sound ridiculous (OP).

You can’t just find someone to marry on a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you gay? Find a great guy and have some babies. If you're not gay, find a woman to date, marry, and have kids. Get someone to set up a blind date or arrange a marriage

You sound ridiculous (OP).

You can’t just find someone to marry on a dime.

SORRY, this comment was directed at the PP (quoted), NOT OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can join a SMBC group for support and advice, but I sincerely doubt someone who is thinking about having a child by themselves would be okay with deciding to coparent with you for the life of the child and give up 50% of their decision-making and tie themselves to a virtual stranger in exchange for financial support. I think by the time a woman gets to the point of contemplating SMBC she's thought through a lot of options that include different levels of involvement from a man and the option you're considering is not very tempting.

Can a family member you are close to move near you to help out with responsibilities (like a mother or sister)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a family member who had sons in his 60s.

Marry a younger woman. I am sure lots of chicks dig well off lawyers who are a little older, financially secure, and own homes in DC. I think whoever is giving you advice - don't take their advice. Wait for the right woman to marry.

You are sure that young chicks dig rich lawyers?

God help us. I hope that you aren’t raising kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adopt. Go to an information session for a few different adoption agencies in the area. Choose one to work with and submit an application. Don't wait. Do it now. Most go through training and counseling as part of the adoption or surrogacy process. Some of the replies/comments on this board are disappointing and wrong, but you need to see what you are up against. You will encounter ignorant people and those who don't mean to be offensive, but are anyway. Stay focused, build your village, and strengthen your faith. Single people can and do parent and make great parents. Surrogacy is an option too.

Try Adoptions Together .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of whiny divorced millennials that will pop one out for you.

You sound like a disrespectful misogynist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a family member who had sons in his 60s.

Marry a younger woman. I am sure lots of chicks dig well off lawyers who are a little older, financially secure, and own homes in DC. I think whoever is giving you advice - don't take their advice. Wait for the right woman to marry.

You are sure that young chicks dig rich lawyers?

God help us. I hope that you aren’t raising kids!

I know quite a few who ditched their wives, many lawyers are married by 38, for their much younger paralegals, associates, hairdressers, personal trainers, etc.,

Yes there is no shortage of women who really want to get off of the wage slave earning train and into the baby making train. Especially so when it cones with an upgrade in lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

OP is Elon Musk but (I hope) less evil.

[Anonymous]

Donate your sperm to a non-anonymous bank.

[Anonymous]

I recommend surrogacy and single parenting over co-parenting with someone. Life changes in ways you can't predict and it's just a lot easier to make decisions for you and your child if you are a single parent. For example, what if you want to move to a different state to take care of an ill parent (or what if your kid's bio mom wants to do that)? It's really hard to navigate those changes with a partner, never mind an unrelated co-parent. I have 3 friends who are single parents by choice, and their lives are GREAT. The first year was hard, but now they get to make all decisions on their own and they have a ton of autonomy and freedom. They've all also started dating and two have found partners. It's been nice for them to separate their romantic partners from their parenting.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't recommend having a kid through a surrogate but adopting an orphan or abandoned child would make sense. Just start with fostering first and then take it from there. You don't know if you can provide a good home to a kid and its not a pet situation where you can rehome unwanted animal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can join a SMBC group for support and advice, but I sincerely doubt someone who is thinking about having a child by themselves would be okay with deciding to coparent with you for the life of the child and give up 50% of their decision-making and tie themselves to a virtual stranger in exchange for financial support. I think by the time a woman gets to the point of contemplating SMBC she's thought through a lot of options that include different levels of involvement from a man and the option you're considering is not very tempting.

A woman who is financially stable is not going to want to tie her life to a stranger.

While having two parents who contribute financially, emotionally, etc. is great. Having another parent who works against you (does not have aligning ideas, desires, etc.), even if they contribute financially, is worse than going it alone.