New Parent In GDS 9th: The Lack of Transparency Alarms Me

[Anonymous]

Parent of a 2024 GDS grad. What you are describing is exactly how GDS operates...they are there for the kids and the kids to build the relationships with the teachers. GDS does not exist for parents and they don't work to actively engage them.
On the "don't worry about your grades" -- you will hear this ALL THE WAY THROUGH...even with college counselors who don't provide GPAs or class ranks to the kids when they ask. It was frustrating for years. That said, it all works out and the kids learn and thrive. My kid is enjoying first year of college at a T15 and doing great based on what GDS taught.

[Anonymous]

It’s almost as though the professional educators with years of experience actually know what they are doing. In all seriousness, deep gratitude for your perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a 2024 GDS grad. What you are describing is exactly how GDS operates...they are there for the kids and the kids to build the relationships with the teachers. GDS does not exist for parents and they don't work to actively engage them.
On the "don't worry about your grades" -- you will hear this ALL THE WAY THROUGH...even with college counselors who don't provide GPAs or class ranks to the kids when they ask. It was frustrating for years. That said, it all works out and the kids learn and thrive. My kid is enjoying first year of college at a T15 and doing great based on what GDS taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I’m sure you find most of these answers as helpful as ice water in Antarctica, but it is a reality of trying to seek help in a public forum. These same koolaid responses reign supreme at the Parent Administration meetings. There’s an assumption that all kids learn the same way. I don’t have any advice, other than consider college matriculation results at most privates are nearly identical. You don’t have to subject your kids to places like GDS.

I've had kids at GDS and Big3 and I don't feel like this describes GDS at all. Contact your child's advisor. 9th grade is a huge transition year at GDS. Learning how to adapt to expectations (of style/quantity/quality) of work and navigate in a community with a lot of freedom is a lot. Kids need to learn how to communicate with teachers. I don't think they expect everyone to learn the same way, but in the end, everyone needs to be able to manage life/work balance and create guardrails for themselves. Executive functioning and the ability to make good choices with respect to workload are important. It's not for everyone, but that doesn't mean teachers expect everyone to learn the same way (and I believe Big 3 are more like that than GDS).

Asking students who learn differently to figure it out on their own is like asking a student who needs accommodations for test taking to just speed it up.

[Anonymous]

as an ncs parent, read this with curiosity! just want to add that self-advocacy is of huge importance at ncs as well. if your child isn’t good at it, it’s going to be a tough road. school makes it clear they don’t really want to hear from parents, from MS on. it sounds like there is more of an emphasis on grades, although we do not have access beyond mid semester, semester, and year end (unlike STA where grades can be seen anytime). in case anyone was wondering, ignore if not!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I’m sure you find most of these answers as helpful as ice water in Antarctica, but it is a reality of trying to seek help in a public forum. These same koolaid responses reign supreme at the Parent Administration meetings. There’s an assumption that all kids learn the same way. I don’t have any advice, other than consider college matriculation results at most privates are nearly identical. You don’t have to subject your kids to places like GDS.

I've had kids at GDS and Big3 and I don't feel like this describes GDS at all. Contact your child's advisor. 9th grade is a huge transition year at GDS. Learning how to adapt to expectations (of style/quantity/quality) of work and navigate in a community with a lot of freedom is a lot. Kids need to learn how to communicate with teachers. I don't think they expect everyone to learn the same way, but in the end, everyone needs to be able to manage life/work balance and create guardrails for themselves. Executive functioning and the ability to make good choices with respect to workload are important. It's not for everyone, but that doesn't mean teachers expect everyone to learn the same way (and I believe Big 3 are more like that than GDS).

Asking students who learn differently to figure it out on their own is like asking a student who needs accommodations for test taking to just speed it up.

Mu point is that I HIGHLY doubt the teacher told that student to just figure it out on their own. Kids are often the WORST at sharing the reality. I think the student and parent need to work with the advisor to figure out exactly what happened and to help the student have more successful interactions with this teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as an ncs parent, read this with curiosity! just want to add that self-advocacy is of huge importance at ncs as well. if your child isn’t good at it, it’s going to be a tough road. school makes it clear they don’t really want to hear from parents, from MS on. it sounds like there is more of an emphasis on grades, although we do not have access beyond mid semester, semester, and year end (unlike STA where grades can be seen anytime). in case anyone was wondering, ignore if not!

I don't understand the need to have an open grade book. Most of us went to high school without one and managed to survive. Besides, students can keep records of their grades to have an idea of what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 9th grade at another Big3 and I have no idea how she's doing. As in, I don't know if she has As or Fs.

This bothers me. My kids are fully independent and only talk to the teachers, not me ever, but I know where they are completely. Once, they update me on every car ride home and 2 they share their day with me including friends and academics.

One of the schools just sent out progress reports and I have never had such a complete picture from a teacher to exactly my child’s strengths and weaknesses are - of course I know them but for a teacher to hit the nail on the head was eye opening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 9th grade at another Big3 and I have no idea how she's doing. As in, I don't know if she has As or Fs.

This bothers me. My kids are fully independent and only talk to the teachers, not me ever, but I know where they are completely. Once, they update me on every car ride home and 2 they share their day with me including friends and academics.

One of the schools just sent out progress reports and I have never had such a complete picture from a teacher to exactly my child’s strengths and weaknesses are - of course I know them but for a teacher to hit the nail on the head was eye opening.

This. If I had no idea whether my kid had As or Fs, no idea what classes they might be struggling in, I would wonder why my kid didn’t talk to me at all.

Our school (HS) does not give parents constant access to grades, but we get interim progress reports every 5-6 weeks. I think that’s great, but all it does is reinforce what my kid has already shared with me. I hope the pp who said they don’t know if their kid is failing or acing any class is exaggerating.

[Anonymous]

Too many Type A control freaks in this thread IMO (and yes, it takes one to know one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as an ncs parent, read this with curiosity! just want to add that self-advocacy is of huge importance at ncs as well. if your child isn’t good at it, it’s going to be a tough road. school makes it clear they don’t really want to hear from parents, from MS on. it sounds like there is more of an emphasis on grades, although we do not have access beyond mid semester, semester, and year end (unlike STA where grades can be seen anytime). in case anyone was wondering, ignore if not!

false STA parent here and parents could not see son's grade anytime

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is newly enrolled in GDS, and while we generally like the school so far, I am alarmed by the lack of transparency from the administration and teachers. I'm trying to keep up with his grades, and they give me the runaround. They don't have an online portal such as "PowerSchool" to let parents see their kids grade in real-time. They also keep telling me "Grades aren't important. Worry about your child's learning and growth as a person."

When he asked for advice on his writing, the instructor told him "we aren't gong to copyedit your work for you." When he asked for help in his history class, the teacher told him "I'm not going to walk you through this."

Teachers seem to place a heavy emphasis on self-teaching, which is frustrating to me.

Kids should be able tot see their grades but parents should not see kids grades except on quarterly and semester grades. Give the kid a chance to breathe and recover from a bad assignment or quiz without you seeing every single thing they do.

[Anonymous]

How do you square the below with the fact that about 50% of GDS HS students having a tutor in at least one subject? I think the challenge as a student or parent is that if you as a student/your child doesn’t meet the “concern” threshold and you proceed as if everything is fine and then you get shut out of certain classes/tracks and/or college options (that may have otherwise been available) that is going to feel really bad. The other issue is that it can be really hard to turn things around after you meet the concern threshold, depending on the grading of a class. It’s easier as an insider to understand some of the spoken and unspoken norms, so that is likely driving some of this anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:It’s almost as though the professional educators with years of experience actually know what they are doing. In all seriousness, deep gratitude for your perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a 2024 GDS grad. What you are describing is exactly how GDS operates...they are there for the kids and the kids to build the relationships with the teachers. GDS does not exist for parents and they don't work to actively engage them.
On the "don't worry about your grades" -- you will hear this ALL THE WAY THROUGH...even with college counselors who don't provide GPAs or class ranks to the kids when they ask. It was frustrating for years. That said, it all works out and the kids learn and thrive. My kid is enjoying first year of college at a T15 and doing great based on what GDS taught.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 9th grade at another Big3 and I have no idea how she's doing. As in, I don't know if she has As or Fs.

This bothers me. My kids are fully independent and only talk to the teachers, not me ever, but I know where they are completely. Once, they update me on every car ride home and 2 they share their day with me including friends and academics.

One of the schools just sent out progress reports and I have never had such a complete picture from a teacher to exactly my child’s strengths and weaknesses are - of course I know them but for a teacher to hit the nail on the head was eye opening.

This. If I had no idea whether my kid had As or Fs, no idea what classes they might be struggling in, I would wonder why my kid didn’t talk to me at all.

Our school (HS) does not give parents constant access to grades, but we get interim progress reports every 5-6 weeks. I think that’s great, but all it does is reinforce what my kid has already shared with me. I hope the pp who said they don’t know if their kid is failing or acing any class is exaggerating.

Did it ever occur to you that my child shares their grades as well their frustrations regarding teachers who don’t enter grades on time or wait to the last minute to hand back an assignment?

[Anonymous]

Our independent will have admin chat with you if you are still heavily involved once your child is in 8th grade. They put structures in place so kids learn self-advocacy and focus a lot on executive functioning in middle school
so the kids are there by high school. They also have grading rubrics with comments on them so it is clear to the student what the expectations are and where there are areas for improvement. If one wants help in high school, teachers are accessible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:as an ncs parent, read this with curiosity! just want to add that self-advocacy is of huge importance at ncs as well. if your child isn’t good at it, it’s going to be a tough road. school makes it clear they don’t really want to hear from parents, from MS on. it sounds like there is more of an emphasis on grades, although we do not have access beyond mid semester, semester, and year end (unlike STA where grades can be seen anytime). in case anyone was wondering, ignore if not!

My child is at STA upper school and we absolutely cannot see grades “anytime.” Rather, we receive quarterly grades. Finally, the expectation is that students advocate for themselves. Sometimes, of course, in the beginning, we helped our son draft an email to the coach/teacher. But, we did not attend meetings or follow ups and son now knows how to ask for assistance/explanation/whatever in their own. We totally expect this and it gels with our belief about how upper school should operate. Only noting this so that others do not read this thread and believe incorrect statement above suggesting an “open” grade book for parents at STA.