People who never leave the house - why?!

[Anonymous]

Whatever the reason, if I were close enough with someone to be staying at their home, I’d be absolutely mortified that they were posting a critique about my habits on the internet. Just, wow.

[Anonymous]

Here's one out of left field: people who grew up in childhood trauma (narcissistic homes, unstable homes, homes with a yeller for a parent, alcoholic homes, families with incredible levels of tension) can tend to isolate in adulthood. It's a case of the strategies that kept you safe growing up (aka, hiding, being invisible, being under the radar) are no longer working for you nearly as well in adulthood. Lots of research on it. Just throwing this out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband can go weeks and not leave the house. He does go out and work in the yard, but like actually leaving the property - nope. He's not depressed, just doesn't like dealing with people.

There’s a decent chance your husband is actually suffering from social anxiety. It’s a real thing that can be treated; look it up. Does he seem to fear people? New social situations? Is he someone who tends to find a problem with the most people?

I had an acquaintance who bemoaned that her college son never left his dorm room besides going to the cafeteria and going to class. He basically spent his first and second years of college having very minimal social interactions with other students. Like your husband, he rationalized that he just didn’t like dealing with people (and I suspect Internet rabbit holes made him feel like this was okay.) Turned out he had social anxiety that he needed help managing.

The goal isn’t to be some massive social butterfly. The goal is just to be able to function in normal society.

Agreed that pp's DH sounds more like social anxiety. A LOT of people confuse social anxiety for introversion.

[Anonymous]

I think people who need to go out are weak, needy and don’t enjoy their own company. What is it like to not like spending time with your own self? Must be miserable.

[Anonymous]

I commute to an office 4 days a week, and then have to wfh on Fridays, which I somehow find more exhausting.

I love my home, it is huge and spacious but also cozy. Our yard is large and we get frequent furry and feathered visitors that are entertaining to watch. My kid and I love being home bodies on the few weekends when there’s nothing planned. That is bliss to us. To not leave the house for 2-3 days is so rejuvenating.

OP, You should ask yourself what’s missing in your life that you crave such constant interaction with others. Why are you not content with your home and home life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of clinically depressed people on this thread. Not the creature-of-habit WAH responses who do go out all weekend.

But all of you who proudly and defensively say you don’t leave your residence unless forced to for an appointment or something? You’re actually not okay. The fact that you prefer not interacting with the world, at all, is evidence of a problem and not actually point on a continuum of healthful alternatives

Who cares what you think.

Aw honey, put down your phone for 2 straight hours and touch some grass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of clinically depressed people on this thread. Not the creature-of-habit WAH responses who do go out all weekend.

But all of you who proudly and defensively say you don’t leave your residence unless forced to for an appointment or something? You’re actually not okay. The fact that you prefer not interacting with the world, at all, is evidence of a problem and not actually point on a continuum of healthful alternatives

This.

Especially in the past week where it was lovely, if you were physically able and had no desire to leave the house and go for an hour walk, then yes, there is something wrong with you. You can make excuses all you want. For those that admit they're depressed, that's good self awareness. But for those that say they're not depressed and don't leave home for days at a time because you just don't want to... yeah, there is no way you're mentally healthy.

You are wrong. See how easy it is to state opinions about personal issues? We all can do it.

No rebuttal with any info. Yeah, you're not depressed at all.

Exactly what I thought. These people don’t have the self awareness to recognize there actually are norms for human behavior—and they fall outside of them.

I like to leave the house but the nastiness and judgment in the OP and some of these responses actually feel like an explanation for why some people don't want to leave the house! Ugh I would not want to hang out with any of you. Why is this your business.

Ok, so these weak constitutioned people who get so fluxommed by other humans who talk have alternatives!

take a bike ride. Walk in the park, alone. Walk with your dog and no other people. Go grocery shopping. Fill your car with gas and hand wash it. Go to a garden center, buy some bulbs and plant them. Jog along the canal. Go to a Smithsonian of your choice.

Go in person to a therapist's office and have several sessions to explore why you're such a timid, anxious mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband can go weeks and not leave the house. He does go out and work in the yard, but like actually leaving the property - nope. He's not depressed, just doesn't like dealing with people.

We call this "maladjustment."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people who need to go out are weak, needy and don’t enjoy their own company. What is it like to not like spending time with your own self? Must be miserable.

Haha, good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people who need to go out are weak, needy and don’t enjoy their own company. What is it like to not like spending time with your own self? Must be miserable.

You think going for a daily hour walk alone outside means someone doesn't enjoy their own company? Or that people who leave the house to go for walks are "needy?" Oh, oh dear.

[Anonymous]

What is "normal?" No such thing. Times have changed. Pandemic changed it even more. So many people have allergies and that number seems to be increasing. Stay indoors, go outside do whatever you feel good doing.

[Anonymous]

For many years (probably around 30), my MIL went outside just a few times a year. She had anxiety and was introverted but moved inside the house a lot: spent several hours per day cooking for FIL and cleaning. She recently passed away at 86.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commute to an office 4 days a week, and then have to wfh on Fridays, which I somehow find more exhausting.

I love my home, it is huge and spacious but also cozy. Our yard is large and we get frequent furry and feathered visitors that are entertaining to watch. My kid and I love being home bodies on the few weekends when there’s nothing planned. That is bliss to us. To not leave the house for 2-3 days is so rejuvenating.

OP, You should ask yourself what’s missing in your life that you crave such constant interaction with others. Why are you not content with your home and home life.

Indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I commute to an office 4 days a week, and then have to wfh on Fridays, which I somehow find more exhausting.

I love my home, it is huge and spacious but also cozy. Our yard is large and we get frequent furry and feathered visitors that are entertaining to watch. My kid and I love being home bodies on the few weekends when there’s nothing planned. That is bliss to us. To not leave the house for 2-3 days is so rejuvenating.

OP, You should ask yourself what’s missing in your life that you crave such constant interaction with others. Why are you not content with your home and home life.

I could have written your first two paragraphs, down to the house and yard details, work schedule, and one homebody son at home. But a poster above you on this page mentioned the correlation with childhood trauma, and it made me think. I definitely lived that life with two alcoholic parents, one of whom was a narcissist, and hiding and flying below the radar were definitely part of my coping strategy. It does feel much safer to be at home as well as the positive things—it’s cozier and more relaxing, and an uninterrupted day or two are bliss for me.

But I do actually like to go into the office, and I like seeing friends inside the house and out, and I love the metro on balance. My homebody teen son is a big extrovert at school and on most days before the evening, and my homebody DH grew up with no trauma. We all end up on the couch together in the evenings. I think there probably aren’t too many generalizations to be drawn other than that if you’re afraid to go outside, that’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

I'm an introvert who works in person every day. I'm an ES teacher and I find being in a school overstimulating. Some weekends, I look forward to just not leaving the house. I'm a single parent and last year, my DS went off to college so if I do stay in, I don't feel like it affects anyone else. Not everyone needs what you need OP.