Is it really as simple as "just go private for middle + high school"?

[Anonymous]

Hi, OP here. I think I'm going to leave this thread because it's going off the rails a bit. I really just wanted to ask about the feasibility of transferring into privates for middle/high school. I started with a healthy skepticism that it was possible, hence the thread, so I don't necessarily disagree with those of you telling me it's an unlikely path. What I didn't intend this thread to be was a dressing down of my life decisions, which believe me, I question all the time!

I think if you knew me in real life and you knew my kids, you would see that they are really smart, happy, well-adjusted kids. So I may not be doing everything perfectly but I don't think I'm ruining them for life (yet!). So anyway, I am signing off. I'm going to consider to assume this is not a sure bet by any stretch, but it's a *maybe* possibility to explore down the road, if it comes to that. Thank you to everyone who answered genuinely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I live in a part of DC with decent elementary schools but bad middle and high schools. Something I hear casually said among the other parents at our elementary school is that they might "just go private" for middle or high school.

Is it really that straightforward? Are there just tons of private schools with openings in 6th grade? I think my fear is that we count on that and then end up not getting in anywhere. And what kind of criteria do they use to admit kids? Is it based on the kid's academic / extracurricular performance? Do siblings get in automatically?

I guess I just need a complete primer on privates. Thank you for any info and for taking pity on a total novice.

This is such a prole tell. Do y’all REALLY think there’s no difference between private school lifers and transfer kids who only go from 7-12th or 9-12th? Of course you don’t. You’re trying to rationalize being a cheapskate.

The biggest difference is that the people who come in as transfers aren't jerks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did not send our kids to private school because we did not feel that STEM education was rigorous enough for our high achieving kids. Of course, magnet public schools in those days were highly competitive and difficult to get into. Couple that with our race, we knew that we would be discriminated for admissions. So, we decided to buy or rent an apartment in a good school pyramid. Thankfully, kids got into magnet schools and got superb STEM and Humanities education from 4th grade to 12th.

Interesting. Well I’m glad your kids were able to avoid the discrimination in the pyramid which it didn’t exist.

How’d you happen to find yourself in this private/independent school forum?

These insecure public school trolls refresh this forum all day, every day. But they’re TOTALLY confident in their shitty public school. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are active in their church and move their kid to their parish school after elementary school.

Some apply out after 3rd to schools that start / have expansion in 4th.

I do not know anyone who had realistic expectations who got "shut-out"

That's good to hear. I think our expectations are realistic although I don't want to send my kids to a religious school - will that eliminate a lot of the options?

I don't really care about getting into the "best" school, I just want a middle and high school option for my kids that is safe and academically challenging.

“No religious schools” rules out a huge portion of the top DC private schools. Religious schools like NCS/STA, Sidwell, Visi, Gonzaga are off the table. So you are basically left with GDS, Maret, Burke and Field. If you are willing to go to Virginia, there are buses from Capitol Hill to the Potomac School. SSSAS in Alexandria would not be an option as it is religious. I think you need to apply in 3rd to GDS and Maret since they are your best non-religious options in DC. Keep reapplying until your kids get in. If still looking in 6th, add Potomac, Burke and Field school to the application list. I wouldn’t bother with Maryland schools like Holton and Landon as they are too far from Capitol Hill. Also, someone mentioned SSFS but this is religious (Quaker) so also not an option. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

There’s also Norwood, light Episcopal St pats and Washington Episcopal, and St Andrews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s also Norwood, light Episcopal St pats and Washington Episcopal, and St Andrews

OP said no religious schools. St. Pats, WES and St. Andrews are all Episcopal and religious. I know some people on DCUM hear “no religious schools” and think it is a euphemism for “no Catholic schools” and assume liberal WASPY religions like Quaker and Episcopal are fine. Such bigots.

[Anonymous]

Yeah unless you are really set on no religion of any kind, the religious element to the Episcopal schools in the area - St. Albans, WES, St. Pats, St. Andrews - is pretty inclusive and acceptable to most parents that aren’t religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s also Norwood, light Episcopal St pats and Washington Episcopal, and St Andrews

OP said no religious schools. St. Pats, WES and St. Andrews are all Episcopal and religious. I know some people on DCUM hear “no religious schools” and think it is a euphemism for “no Catholic schools” and assume liberal WASPY religions like Quaker and Episcopal are fine. Such bigots.

It’s not bigotry for most part (although I’m sure there are examples of that), but for many people the Catholic schools are more front and center with the religious aspect (which can be a benefit if that is an important thing for you) whereas the Episcopal schools tend to a lot lighter on the religious aspects other than Christmas carols and a weekly 30 minute chapel that focuses mostly on values that are common to many religions. That is why people often recommend them to those that arent religious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: Forums like this are full of public school trolls who can't afford private who bad mouth private and overhype how amazing and diverse publics are. And it sounds like your social circle is currently rah-rah public school parents (who can't afford private). Nobody calls their baby ugly. If private primary schools were a pointless waste of money the good ones wouldn't all have waitlists, competitive admission, and cost a pretty penny. You know what I mean?

NP here. We live in McLean. Dh and I both went to HYP. Many of my kids’ friends’ parents went to top schools. I’m 100% certain my kid will do fine after graduating from Langley. We have a seven figure income and can easily afford private. I think being close to the school and having neighborhood friends are important.

That being said, if we lived in dc, we would send our kids to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids transferred from DCPS to Big3 schools (two different ones) in 9th grade. One graduated in the top 10 kids in their class and is now at a top 10 university and the second is on target to do so.

It's definitely possible to do this. We are nobody special and our kids are smart but not genius or prodigy level or anything like that. We didn't do any supplementation throughout elementary or middle school (we're really not tiger parents at all--we left for private because our inboundary high school is really lacking.)

The first semester of 9th grade was a major step up but we watched their grades very carefully and had tutors ready to go. After that they were on their own and just took off. They fit in super well socially. That was not an issue at all. The left (or are leaving) with life-long friendships.

Our story is not everyone's story but there are plenty of families like us out there.

If you really are at Sidwell, STA-NCS or GDS, then no, there are not actually “plenty” of kids like yours. At all.

I have direct parent experience in the past few years at Sidwell and know that GDS is the same from my close parent friends: it’s hard as hell to be one of the 38 admitted Sidwell 9th graders and harder still to be the top handful of kids.

I think you must be at STA, since you have knowledge of individual ranking of students (which Sidwell and GDS. do not do). That admission class is even smaller than the other big3, and you’re doing a disservice to OP and their ilk to tell them there are “plenty” of families who get multiple kids admitted to HS in any of these 3-4 schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s also Norwood, light Episcopal St pats and Washington Episcopal, and St Andrews

Did you just suggest that all these schools with the word “saint” in their name are not religious schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I live in a part of DC with decent elementary schools but bad middle and high schools. Something I hear casually said among the other parents at our elementary school is that they might "just go private" for middle or high school.

Is it really that straightforward? Are there just tons of private schools with openings in 6th grade? I think my fear is that we count on that and then end up not getting in anywhere. And what kind of criteria do they use to admit kids? Is it based on the kid's academic / extracurricular performance? Do siblings get in automatically?

I guess I just need a complete primer on privates. Thank you for any info and for taking pity on a total novice.

Having just done this, moving from one DMV independent to the next (ie elementary to middle) feels like a bit of a "gentleman's handshake" with the previous school vouching for the child - given your child is a solid candidate and you have been a cordial/contributing family. I don't mean contributing lots of $, just positive and partnering overall. Public to private seems very doable, but your child won't necessarily have someone who has a credible relationship with the next school vouching for their talents, so you (and your child) will have to fully "make the case" via interviews, application package etc. Admissions officers don't expect miracles and know "how kids act", but I would say our childs strengths came through in the admissions process via written responses - with weak interviews. It would have been a pity if it ended there, since that was totally normal shyness, but the school outplacement team easily reinforced how our child is "when warmed up". Child is thriving now at choice #1. So that being known and vouched for is the biggest advantage I see, but obviously children move laterally from public or out of town all the time. Is there anything specifically you are curious about? Having had children in both public and private in the DMV, and having worked in both settings as well, there are myriad good options in the DMV so dont overly stress, but I also applaud starting to do your research now when it doesn't feel super high stakes and pressured. That way you will be prepared and comfortable. Your children are lucky to have you looking out for them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi,
I live in a part of DC with decent elementary schools but bad middle and high schools. Something I hear casually said among the other parents at our elementary school is that they might "just go private" for middle or high school.

Is it really that straightforward? Are there just tons of private schools with openings in 6th grade? I think my fear is that we count on that and then end up not getting in anywhere. And what kind of criteria do they use to admit kids? Is it based on the kid's academic / extracurricular performance? Do siblings get in automatically?

I guess I just need a complete primer on privates. Thank you for any info and for taking pity on a total novice.

It's a striver wannabe / miser thing to say. Nobody who can afford private primary says this. And it's deluded because you can't make up for lost time. k-6th is 7 pivotal years of life. Your kid is not on the same rung when they transfer in at age 12 or 13; from academics, to socially, and everything in-between.

This is true. Last year I had an 8th grader and a 9th grader transfer into a top local private that costs over 50 grand per student from public. Both got straight A’s in public, were in a gifted program where they took all academic courses, and still had to adjust to the harder workload. Socially they were okay.

My kid was still at the top of her class when she transferred to a rigorous private school while in middle school, so not true. But then we were comiing from a 'W' school. Socially, it was also better in public - less phones, social media and mean girl behavior. What was better was the teaching, smallness of the school and individual attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be that simple, OP! Please check out Christ Episcopal in Rockville. It's religious but "religious light" and super inclusive of all walks of life
It's only K-8 but so it would only get you though middle. We are extremely happy there!!!

I second and having originally come from DC, CES is perfect for a smart kid who is use to being around people of different backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it is not simple. You should do a real assessment of your finances and be honest with yourself about what year you can afford to start and begin applying in that year.

This will also force you to evaluate whether or not you can even afford the option at all.

OP here. We have a HHI of $750k or higher (depending on bonuses and stock performance). Our current PITI is <$3k with a mortgage we could pay off tomorrow if we wanted to, but we don't because it's 3.5%. For us the money is there, we just have to decide if we want to spend it on private school for 2 kids or a mortgage on a new pricey house with a good in bounds. We're genuinely very torn. We love our DC public and aren't very competitive people, we just want our kids to be happy, well rounded, and reasonably challenged academically.

So it's less about whether the money is there and more about whether this is how we want to spend it. This thread has been really helpful though, so thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I truly don't understand why you would muck around with DCPS or public charters past like 3rd grade. I am also not a competitive person and I get not wanting to send kids to Big 3 type environments. But there are lots of private schools that have nurturing environments with strong academics and basically none of the random BS you find in even the best DCPS schools. I guess it's nice to send kids to a neighborhood school and to have friends in the neighborhood. So maybe you do that for PK and a couple years of elementary. But especially on CH people will start peeling off for private or charters like Latin or BASIS by late elementary anyway. So why wait for that to happen when it might impact your ability to get into the school you want -- just go.

This is not a know on DCPS but I just can't imagine rolling the dice in this way by waiting if you know that you're going to want private anyway and can definitely afford it. I also think you will quickly discover that neighborhood schools are overrated in DC as a source of friendship-- people are super transient anyway and the lottery means classmates might not even live nearby plus you would be surprised by how easy it is to maintain a neighborhood friendship while kids attend different schools.

OP here and I know this sounds crazy but the truth is we're just happy where we are, and we'd rather not. I KNOW that one day I might regret this but it's really hard to make this huge change to our finances, uproot our kids, and add whatever commute to our daily lives, because we're trying to avoid some theoretical future pain. Our lives feel so easy and, to be honest, perfect right now. Of course the threat of ~3rd/4th grade is looming over our heads, but it still makes it hard to pull the parachute right now. I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just explaining where we're at. We keep saying "one more year" and that has turned into 3 years. And maybe one more, who is to say. You could also argue that we should just sell our house and move to upper NW and probably we should, but the god honest answer is we don't want to. We like it where we are and, most of all, we like the financial flexibility that our current lifestyle gives us. It's probably immature of us but that's what it is.

I wouldn't change anything if I were you. You have the money to swoop in and fix anything along the way if necessary. Many of the people who are encouraging you to move just want to justify their decision to go private (even if it is not the right fit). So be comfortable with your decision. Your kids seem well adjusted and happy too.