Emotional relationship / affair - Where is the line

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you have a close friendship, and that you are both avoidant in your marriages. You compartmentalize to avoid one person knowing all of you. Try working on your personal attachment issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

both married; same outcome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

But both are married to someone else? That would have been more complicated.

[Anonymous]

DCUM skews VERY conservative when it comes to relationships, OP.

My line is: no evidence that can be used against you, against your wife and kids, and against the close friends in your life.

This means in practice: no sex. If you do it, you can always be found out if someone is on your trail. There is always a trail.

But not just that: no appearance of sex. No hanging out in hotels, no romantic dinners just the two of you, no coming and going at either of your homes, nothing that can be caught by a PI and spilled in public as "evidence".

You are free to have a crush on her and she on you. Anything that doesn't scream "they're together!" is allowed.

But no evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM skews VERY conservative when it comes to relationships, OP.

My line is: no evidence that can be used against you, against your wife and kids, and against the close friends in your life.

This means in practice: no sex. If you do it, you can always be found out if someone is on your trail. There is always a trail.

But not just that: no appearance of sex. No hanging out in hotels, no romantic dinners just the two of you, no coming and going at either of your homes, nothing that can be caught by a PI and spilled in public as "evidence".

You are free to have a crush on her and she on you. Anything that doesn't scream "they're together!" is allowed.

But no evidence.

In other words, stay away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM skews VERY conservative when it comes to relationships, OP.

My line is: no evidence that can be used against you, against your wife and kids, and against the close friends in your life.

This means in practice: no sex. If you do it, you can always be found out if someone is on your trail. There is always a trail.

But not just that: no appearance of sex. No hanging out in hotels, no romantic dinners just the two of you, no coming and going at either of your homes, nothing that can be caught by a PI and spilled in public as "evidence".

You are free to have a crush on her and she on you. Anything that doesn't scream "they're together!" is allowed.

But no evidence.

In other words, stay away.

Not concervative at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

both married; same outcome

Not necessarily, this is very similar to the friendship I have with my coworker. We are both married and neither looking to leave our family so we easily enjoy our time together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

both married; same outcome

Not necessarily, this is very similar to the friendship I have with my coworker. We are both married and neither looking to leave our family so we easily enjoy our time together.

Right. In the movie she wants him to leave and be with her. When both EA partners are married, they rarely want such development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

both married; same outcome

Not necessarily, this is very similar to the friendship I have with my coworker. We are both married and neither looking to leave our family so we easily enjoy our time together.

Right. In the movie she wants him to leave and be with her. When both EA partners are married, they rarely want such development.

I think in OP’s case, don’t think plan of leaving family. Just that both hit it well but very mindful however risk of crossing the line is relatively high. One does not want unintended consequences. I will think need to reduce text late at night. Holding hands should be avoided. One can enjoy each other conmpany without going physical, though it can be hard to maintain control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have to ask…

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The New Yorker had a short film about it

oops, here's the link: https://www.newyorker.com/video/watch/sparring-partner

That was really good, thanks for sharing.

I think this is about right. But sailing very close to the wind. Crossing the line can be easy in certain situation though.
I liked it too. Wish they were both married, though.

Why what would be different ?

Because of the power dynamics, he has a wife, and she's single; she wants to change the status quo more than he does.

both married; same outcome

Not necessarily, this is very similar to the friendship I have with my coworker. We are both married and neither looking to leave our family so we easily enjoy our time together.

Right. In the movie she wants him to leave and be with her. When both EA partners are married, they rarely want such development.

I think in OP’s case, don’t think plan of leaving family. Just that both hit it well but very mindful however risk of crossing the line is relatively high. One does not want unintended consequences. I will think need to reduce text late at night. Holding hands should be avoided. One can enjoy each other conmpany without going physical, though it can be hard to maintain control

[Anonymous]

Wut?