Try FCPS AAP center for 2-3 weeks and switch to private?

[Anonymous]

I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

If the administration is generally unhelpful and unwilling to meet with your or organize a tour, then you should expect that the administration will likewise be unhelpful and difficult when/if your kid is enrolled there. Some principals are warm and welcoming. Others never reply to emails and are generally rude and hostile to all of the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

Did you choose private or AAP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

If the administration is generally unhelpful and unwilling to meet with your or organize a tour, then you should expect that the administration will likewise be unhelpful and difficult when/if your kid is enrolled there. Some principals are warm and welcoming. Others never reply to emails and are generally rude and hostile to all of the parents.

DP. I don't agree with this. There isn't a general culture in this area of tours of public schools (the way there is in this area for private schools). How principals respond to requests from prospective parents, particularly parents who want to be sold on the school or convinced to choose one school over another, has nothing to do with how a principal responds to a parent of a student who may have a concern.

[Anonymous]

I am not saying this to be mean, and also have a child with anxiety — OP, this nonsense approach cannot be good for your kid’s anxiety. Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying this to be mean, and also have a child with anxiety — OP, this nonsense approach cannot be good for your kid’s anxiety. Come on.

Did your child get an IEP for whatever disorder he/she has? FCPS Child Find does not hand out IEPs easily. What OP described as anxiety probably is more serious than what you are imagining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying this to be mean, and also have a child with anxiety — OP, this nonsense approach cannot be good for your kid’s anxiety. Come on.

Did your child get an IEP for whatever disorder he/she has? FCPS Child Find does not hand out IEPs easily. What OP described as anxiety probably is more serious than what you are imagining.

DP. That PP is right. This is a terrible approach for any student and even worse for a child with anxiety, especially severe anxiety.

- parent of a child with severe anxiety

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

Did you choose private or AAP?

Thus far we've remained at our private. We are currently deliberating (again) as to what the best option is for our student next year as our private re-enrollment decision is due soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying this to be mean, and also have a child with anxiety — OP, this nonsense approach cannot be good for your kid’s anxiety. Come on.

Did your child get an IEP for whatever disorder he/she has? FCPS Child Find does not hand out IEPs easily. What OP described as anxiety probably is more serious than what you are imagining.

DP. That PP is right. This is a terrible approach for any student and even worse for a child with anxiety, especially severe anxiety.

- parent of a child with severe anxiety

OP here. You need to understand that we are not pushing that he sees both to make a decision. He asked for whether he can see both and be there in classroom. I think the source of the idea for him is that when he applied at private schools in the past in our current state, he visited private schools, he participated in school events, school shadow days, school lunches, he enjoyed them all and he actually got a pretty good idea of the school and how the environment made him feel. He eventually attended the most he liked among the two schools he got accepted at (it also coincided with how we would have chosen after visiting them). It was a pleasant process for him.

So the situation is different than what you are potentially imagining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to the AAP school and see if your child can visit at some point this year. The schools are more accommodating than you think. They can do things like give a private tour, connect you with other families who have made similar decisions, etc.

I understand wanting your child to be part of the decision making. But this is one of those things where you have to confidently make a choice and move forward. What you’re describing is possible… but there are good reasons people don’t prolong the decision this way.

NP... our ES has rejected any/all requests for parents and/or prospective student to do a private tour or sit in on a classroom. We have considered doing exact same thing as OP is suggesting for the same reason (but so far haven't followed through, because we recognize it's disruptive and only so helpful). We have no insight whatsoever as to how the classrooms are run, what the interaction amongst the students is like, etc. We have concerns because we know a number of kids at the school (through sports and other ECs) and there are a few kids who seem great / normal, a few who were surface polite but kind of "othered" our kid (annoying but not unusual for kids), and one in particular who was verbally abusive and tried to physically bully our kid. We'd like to get a better sense of what the mix of kids is like (and whether the bully's behavior is noticed/tolerated) before committing to a full year in that environment. But the school won't allow anyone to observe a class, so the only alternative we're left with is what OP proposes.

Several have said in this thread something like "this approach is imperfect and you won't get a fully accurate sense of the classroom day during those first 2-3 weeks". Which is true, of course, but moreso for academics than for the social and behavioral side. Most would also agree that some imperfect information is better than nothing, and the school has basically set things up that this is the only way for a student to get any sense of what the school is like before committing to a year. If you think this is disruptive, I'd direct your ire to the school for not providing a reasonable alternative.

Just enroll your child, let them attend for the desired amount of time and then disenroll. They must take all comers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not saying this to be mean, and also have a child with anxiety — OP, this nonsense approach cannot be good for your kid’s anxiety. Come on.

Did your child get an IEP for whatever disorder he/she has? FCPS Child Find does not hand out IEPs easily. What OP described as anxiety probably is more serious than what you are imagining.

DP. That PP is right. This is a terrible approach for any student and even worse for a child with anxiety, especially severe anxiety.

- parent of a child with severe anxiety

OP here. You need to understand that we are not pushing that he sees both to make a decision. He asked for whether he can see both and be there in classroom. I think the source of the idea for him is that when he applied at private schools in the past in our current state, he visited private schools, he participated in school events, school shadow days, school lunches, he enjoyed them all and he actually got a pretty good idea of the school and how the environment made him feel. He eventually attended the most he liked among the two schools he got accepted at (it also coincided with how we would have chosen after visiting them). It was a pleasant process for him.

So the situation is different than what you are potentially imagining.

I would explain that there is a difference between a school arranged visit and activities, which are scheduled with the intention of selling a school and presenting kids with a calm experience, is very different then attending class the first few weeks of the school year. He will be at the school when it is at its most chaotic, kids returning from vacation and reconnecting with friends. Excitement for the new year for some students, dread for the new year for others. Bus routes will be screwed up so classes won't be starting on time. Assessments will not have been completed so there will be experimenting with reading groups and math groups. Kids will be learning the rules of the classroom. Teachers will be trying to integrate new students, like your child, into a class where 90% of the kids know each other.

The Shadow days that he experienced where structured events that occured when the school was settled and probably at it's calmest. The kids knew that there would be kids shadowing and were probably told to be on their best behavior.

On top of that, his being new to the class will lead the Teacher to work to integrate him into the group and spend extra time trying to get a feel for his abilities so that he can be placed in the proper groups. His attempt at fact finding will be causing additional work for people at a busy time of year and it is not fair to the Teacher or students who are in the class and not moving. It is not a shadow day and it is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Ok OP, your kid wants to do this based on a previous experience at private schools. In that case what you, as the parent/adult need to do is explain that private and public schools are not the same thing. A private school is trying to sell their product to you just as much as you're trying to sell yourself to them. They will cater to your whims because they want your $$$$$. A public school has no product to sell and no choice about accepting you or not.

It is *your job* to explain to an 11 year old why this plan is disrespectful and disruptive for two teachers and two entire classrooms of other students. It is your job to explain that, if this plan was used and your child decided to stay at the public school he would already be setting himself up on the wrong foot due to the disruption it would cause. It would also already be putting him at odds with FCPS's more stringent unexcused absences policy, setting you up for conflict with administration if you plan on any additional days off for any reason other than illness.

As others have suggested, I think you and your child might be happier where you're treated as the entitled customers you wish to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, your kid wants to do this based on a previous experience at private schools. In that case what you, as the parent/adult need to do is explain that private and public schools are not the same thing. A private school is trying to sell their product to you just as much as you're trying to sell yourself to them. They will cater to your whims because they want your $$$$$. A public school has no product to sell and no choice about accepting you or not.

It is *your job* to explain to an 11 year old why this plan is disrespectful and disruptive for two teachers and two entire classrooms of other students. It is your job to explain that, if this plan was used and your child decided to stay at the public school he would already be setting himself up on the wrong foot due to the disruption it would cause. It would also already be putting him at odds with FCPS's more stringent unexcused absences policy, setting you up for conflict with administration if you plan on any additional days off for any reason other than illness.

As others have suggested, I think you and your child might be happier where you're treated as the entitled customers you wish to be.

I hope you are realizing that there would at least be some information if there were school visits. What private schools and some other (even crowded) public school districts such as New York City are offering as school tours are nonexistent at FCPS, as far as I know. There is an AAP orientation day, and Kindergarten orientation day. Other than that there are no tours for new students joining FCPS.

If you think someone is entitled when asking for opportunity to see the school, then your mentality is a problem. We are not living in communist China. This is FCPS for gods sake. A wealthy public school district. When parents lower their expectations of public schools it is a problem, but it is also a problem when same parents start bashing other parents and accusing them of entitlement when they asked for simple tours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok OP, your kid wants to do this based on a previous experience at private schools. In that case what you, as the parent/adult need to do is explain that private and public schools are not the same thing. A private school is trying to sell their product to you just as much as you're trying to sell yourself to them. They will cater to your whims because they want your $$$$$. A public school has no product to sell and no choice about accepting you or not.

It is *your job* to explain to an 11 year old why this plan is disrespectful and disruptive for two teachers and two entire classrooms of other students. It is your job to explain that, if this plan was used and your child decided to stay at the public school he would already be setting himself up on the wrong foot due to the disruption it would cause. It would also already be putting him at odds with FCPS's more stringent unexcused absences policy, setting you up for conflict with administration if you plan on any additional days off for any reason other than illness.

As others have suggested, I think you and your child might be happier where you're treated as the entitled customers you wish to be.

People don't enroll in each private school they are accepted to, try them out and then decide between them. Why? Because they get to have enough information beforehand through lots of opportunities. Even half of those opportunities existed at FCPS, no one would consider to dual enroll their child at private and FCPS to try them both. There would be no need to do that. Oh, but you call that entitlement right? Why doesn't FCPS give enough information to parents to make choice? Where are we living, communist China or a wealthy public school district?