Private school parent small talk in December: EVERYONE bragging about upcoming ritzy trips

[Anonymous]

The preoccupation with expensive, international vacations has always been an UMC thing that feels very trashy.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think people are bragging most of the time. It’s just a topic of conversation to bring up in small talk.

[Anonymous]

You can travel just fine if you know how to budget, stay somewhere that allows you to cook or store food to avoid going out every meal, using public transit, (especially in Europe, etc.) We are significally less "well off" than many people at DC's school (in comparison at least, not talking US averages or anything), but there are many of them who have plenty of funds to spare who stay home nearly all the time while we travel. Or they use that money on Disney/beach-only/cruise and other similar trips while this is simply not our type of travel.

[Anonymous]

PP here, clicked submit too soon. Point is, to each their own and it's really not a big deal if you don't travel (whether it is because you don't want to or feel you cannot afford it). Find some fun traditions to do with family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The preoccupation with expensive, international vacations has always been an UMC thing that feels very trashy.

It has gotten 1000x worse in recent years with social media bragging normalized and net jets and other private jet rentals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people are bragging most of the time. It’s just a topic of conversation to bring up in small talk.

Parents—even pleasant, classy and modest parents—are always asserting their class? wealth and sophistication. It’s human nature. We sort each other constantly and want others to know what rung we’re on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. But I’m not jealous or insecure. We have the money to do something, we just choose not to. Maybe that makes it easier? I really like hearing about trips because I find it interesting. I don’t assume people are bragging, but making conversation.

+1
I don’t like to travel over this break, we don’t ski, and my kid has training for a winter sport. Nobody is judging you or bragging, OP, they are just making conversation. Super easy chit chat. I enjoy hearing about where people are going!

+2. We have to use our time at christmas to visit family in very boring locations. I'd rather be at home, not traveling. I love to hear about trips people are taking!

+3 We are going to see family too. They happen to live in a fabulous location, which is a bonus. Bottom line: if we don't go there, we don't see them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Except us. We aren't poor but you can't help but feel a little on the prole side of upper middle class this time of year when you have to disclose, "No, no big trips. We're just staying home." It feels like every single private school parent you bump into is itching to sort of brag about and detail their vacation home or their upcoming ski trip or some ritzy beach destination. Anyone else feel this way this time of year?

We have one in public and one in private (different kids, different needs), and the public school parents are the same. Trips to the Caribbean, Europe, South America), and we drove south a few states to visit grandparents. Whatever. Try not to compare yourselves to others - sometimes it's hard, but there are always many more we'll off than you, and just as many, if not more, less we'll off than you

[Anonymous]

We always say we plan to stay home for the holidays. What we actually do, whether that or something else, is not anyone else's business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people are bragging most of the time. It’s just a topic of conversation to bring up in small talk.

Parents—even pleasant, classy and modest parents—are always asserting their class? wealth and sophistication. It’s human nature. We sort each other constantly and want others to know what rung we’re on.

This is so strange to me. Sorting people? I have never thought like this. I also don’t care what you think of me (unless you happen to be a relative or close friend, then I value your opinion).

As for trips, I have also never assumed people are bragging. You do you. We usually don’t travel at the holidays bc we have family close by with whom we like to visit. I am chuckling that y’all are putting us in some category of people who can’t afford it.

[Anonymous]

It’s not bragging, it’s conversation. I send my kids to public, but I went to private, and this is exactly why I don’t send my kids to private.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's that deep. They're excited about their travel plans, and want to talk about it. We don't have the money to travel for winter break, and we just say we stay in town/drive to my in laws. I don't think anyone actually cares haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's that deep. They're excited about their travel plans, and want to talk about it. We don't have the money to travel for winter break, and we just say we stay in town/drive to my in laws. I don't think anyone actually cares haha.

If you were "excited" about your new Range Rover, would it be tactful to bring it up or dance around it every time you have small talk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not bragging, it’s conversation. I send my kids to public, but I went to private, and this is exactly why I don’t send my kids to private.

Often affluent public parents are even more over the top with stuff like this, as if they seek to emphasize they are upper rung.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's that deep. They're excited about their travel plans, and want to talk about it. We don't have the money to travel for winter break, and we just say we stay in town/drive to my in laws. I don't think anyone actually cares haha.

If you were "excited" about your new Range Rover, would it be tactful to bring it up or dance around it every time you have small talk?

Some people love cars and to talk about features on new vehicles. I wouldn't mind at all to chat and compliment someone's new range rover.