I'll only pay for college if GPA stays above 3.0

[Anonymous]

My dad had this rule. I was at UC Berkeley engineering where they curve freshman weeder courses so only 30% of the class get As or Bs. I tried my butt off attending every office hour and tutoring section and still struggled.

He won, I dropped out because I couldn’t afford it on my own.

I moved across the country, found a new, lesser school in a different major, paid my own way and haven’t talked to him in 20 years.

Support your kid if you want a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are so horrible. Your kids must dread talking to you. Try talking to your son. Ask questions and brainstorm ideas for bringing up his grades.

It's okay, I hear they can just have other kids, so nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had this rule. I was at UC Berkeley engineering where they curve freshman weeder courses so only 30% of the class get As or Bs. I tried my butt off attending every office hour and tutoring section and still struggled.

He won, I dropped out because I couldn’t afford it on my own.

I moved across the country, found a new, lesser school in a different major, paid my own way and haven’t talked to him in 20 years.

Support your kid if you want a relationship.

Very powerful. I'm sorry this happened. Thank you for your clarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of threatening him with withdrawal of payment, how about talking with him like a real person. Find out why the grades are slipping.
-Is he depressed and in need of therapy. There are some decent online therapy options you could help him access.

-Is he struggling with the expectations of the coursework and needs support from the academic center at school. Maybe you could help him figure out how to access those services.

-Is he struggling with time management and executive functioning—doesn’t know how to plan out the assignments across the semester.

If it were as easy as threatening to stop college payments, he wouldn’t be struggling right now.

Get your head out of your butt and talk calmly with your kid. The pandemic did a number on kids. Doomscrolling through social media impacts them in ways we don’t understand. Speak to your kid with care and love.

I’m a parent of a college kid who should’ve graduated in May. He has 2 more classes to go. I thought the threats of stopping payments were going to be motivating. They weren’t. He needed help, and now he’s on his way to finishing.

Thank you for this. The kids are hurting and stressed. Providing them support is so much more important than what comes from your wallet.

[Anonymous]

The A students work for the B students, the C students own the company, and the dropouts invented the product the company makes.

[Anonymous]

It's really weird that OP would rather their kid dropped out of college, rather than graduating with low GPA.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around that logic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had this rule. I was at UC Berkeley engineering where they curve freshman weeder courses so only 30% of the class get As or Bs. I tried my butt off attending every office hour and tutoring section and still struggled.

He won, I dropped out because I couldn’t afford it on my own.

I moved across the country, found a new, lesser school in a different major, paid my own way and haven’t talked to him in 20 years.

Support your kid if you want a relationship.

So sorry.

I hope you have created your own close and loving family. 🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really weird that OP would rather their kid dropped out of college, rather than graduating with low GPA.

I'm trying to wrap my mind around that logic.

My thoughts exactly. It's one thing if the kid is partying and not trying, it's another if he's trying and struggling. I would have a very hard time convincing myself that no college degree and trying to find a reasonable paying job without a degree is the better solution here. I would also want to feel like all efforts for support and understanding have been exhausted first before I would declare a GPA cut off for paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standards are fine until your son gets a 2.8 and you force him to drop out of school and he ends up working at Walmart for the next five years. But you win! He will learn you don’t accept bad grades.

This. I dragged my GPA up from a .9 and graduated with a 2.9. Mental health issues. Would Walmart have been better? I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

I’m on your side, and I say this as someone who flunked out of college and had to pay for it myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m on your side, and I say this as someone who flunked out of college and had to pay for it myself.

Sorry you partied too much. Loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is having a hard time accepting this rule. He's a rising sophomore and somehow thinks that he can just get a blank check for school. My wife seems to want to side with him. This is going to be a rough Thanksgiving!
This came up because his grades have been slipping. I reminded him of our deal and he now thinks I'm trying to "control" him.
Are parents really just writing a blank check for their kids? Am I so out of touch to have standards?

You are trying to control him. The school will put him on academic probation if his grades get too low. This happened to me and I had a wake up call. This might not even happen to him if you back off, who knows. But Let him learn the hard way if need be. This isn’t about you. You can tell him that he will have an easier time applying to grad school which he might determine later he wants to do the higher his gpa is, but otherwise I think making this a fight is futile and may result in his not seeing his work as his own but rather connected to your expecting something from him , which may result in rebellion on his part.
Step back. Breathe and let him find his own way. If he fails out and goes to community college for a year before applying back into a four year it will only make him stronger. This will likely not even happen but your involvement now clearly is not helping your case and your ultimate hopes in his doing his best.

[Anonymous]

If your kid came from a grade inflation school and is now in a real grading system, or chose a major with weed out classes where everyone hopes to get a C, you are being too harsh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid came from a grade inflation school and is now in a real grading system, or chose a major with weed out classes where everyone hopes to get a C, you are being too harsh.

This. Way too harsh in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you OP. There are tons of scholarships that have GPA requirements this is no different. Your stance will get hate from typical DCUM posters that claim "you need to treat your kid like an adult", "they won't talk to you in 10 years".
My kids know the deal, I don't have to pay for college I have other things I would rather do with my money. If they want to threaten me with estrangement then go for it. I can always have another kid.
As long as you've made the expectations clear and your son has an avenue to seek academic help your stance is very reasonable.

You can always have another kid???

There are other things you would rather do with your money (than try to secure a sound future for your offspring??)

Talk about someone who is emotionally abusive and not at all suited to raising a human being. I feel great pity for your child, if you actually have one.

+1 this is one of the most disgusting posts I've read from a parent. Essentially, be perfect or I will replace you with a new child to ruin.